Manipulate Mom

Getting spent by all the negative energy she's throwing all the time. Thinking of using my old techniques for survival for the time being, but only to get her to not be such a complainer. Is it wrong to manipulate my mom?

Well, you asked.... i hate being manipulated so..... my answer is that any type of manipulation is an unkind act. Just be courageous enough to say what is bothering you or what you want instead of manipulating.

Yes its wrong. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. You can do better than resorting to that.

I've tried all the positive feedback, and expressing my desires for things to be better and what's happening that is upsetting me. I have been getting regularly "oh shut up! This is my house." I have been losing it and replying with "and it will be only your house before much longer. We all know it will. Then you can treat Dad like this, but I really hope you don't." She also vehemently denies ever telling me to shut up, even within an hour of having said it. This is not something to blame on the strokes, because this has been her behaviours my entire life.

I'm sorry you've endured so much abuse from your mother. That must be such a hard thing to deal with. I can't say what I'd do in your situation but I hope you make the one that feels best to you. Big hugs.

My decision has been to move out. I don't have much money, SSDI, but I am qualified for public housing and on the list. Hopefully sooner than later. I love my parents but lately it takes more than I have to even look at them. There's not been a healthy relationship with them ever. It's taken all the toll it can. I would sleep in my truck but it's deadly cold out. No friends means nowhere to stay.

I am sorry you are in this position. I had toxic parents too. Its very hard to live like that. Fingers crossed public housing comes through soon.

I hope you are able to get into public housing soon. Sometimes we may love a family member, but not be able to live with them. There is nothing wrong with that. Independence from toxicity can really help our mental well-being too.

I think independent living is needed for me. I've never been alone in my own place. Ever. I think that may have damaged me some, not knowing if I am capable of doing it. I don't need others to be happy. Besides, I'll be at the gym most of the time anyway, I just won't have to tell somebody every time I go somewhere

If your area takes forever for public housing to open up, which most areas do..... what about renting a room, tons of people cant afford a place of there own but in a room mate situation can really help out both people.

Can't afford it. I get 800/mo and pay out 500 in bills, need gas for the gym and doctors and therapist, and food too which is mostly granola bars and peanut butter already. I'm broke at the end of every month. I think if I can get on my own I can be ok. I don't want a roommate

My understanding is public housing in most areas are about a 1/3 of your income.

Hopefully it will be lower for you.

The place I've been approved for can be 0 depending on several factors. I'll pay what I have to and we'll see what happens. One place is walking distance to a gym! That would be so awesome. The other takes under 20 minutes by bus or walking 2 miles. Getting there would all be downhill but that hill back is big