[NolaMae]

How do you know if you're in a mixed episode? I feel depressed, have no interest in anything, and am close to tears all the time. On on the other hand I can't sleep, am irritable, anxious, and am experiencing horrible nervous tension.

If this is a mixed episode, what can I do? I have an appointment with my psychiatrist, but it's not until February 7. She is booked way out and it's hard to get appointments. There's really nobody else I can see because they aren't in my PPO network.

I'm taking:

Lamictal 450 mg
Trazodone 200 mg for sleep
Clonazepam 1.5 to 2 mg as needed for anxiety

I was on Lithium but had to stop because my blood levels were too high. I cannot and will not take an antipsychotic (I was on Abilify for years and it caused tardive dysenisia which fortunately went away. NEVER AGAIN.) Likewise, I was on Wellbutrin for years, but finally had to stop because of lack of sleep and causing manic behavior.

I am extremely reluctant to go on anything that causes weight gain because I worked very hard to lose 80 pounds in the last year.

But, I can't take this any more. Is it worth it to gain weight so I can feel better? I think putting weight back on would make me even more depressed than ever.

I feel just awful.

[xRavenx]

It sounds like it could be a mixed episode, or at the very least, some mixed features along with depression. Mixed episodes are horrible. I get them too. I am sorry that you are struggling a lot and hope you can see the pdoc sooner. Maybe each day or so you can call your pdoc office to see if anyone cancels their appointment? I had the same reaction to Wellbutrin as well.

Lamictal and Klonopin are also 2 out of 4 medications that I am on at the moment. I hate med changes too and often have the same worries. However, there are a lot of medications out there, and perhaps your pdoc can work with you to find a medication that is weight neutral. Even off label medications are sometimes used in conjunction with other meds, so you'll only know all your options once you are seen. I know it sucks to wait, and perhaps monitor yourself for any other "warning signs." If all else fails, I don't know if your General Practitioner can offer any other referrals that maybe you are unaware of some other pdocs out there? Just trying to come up with some ideas. Hugs