[scatterbrained04]

I hate how I can start off having a good day, and then just like that all the bad thoughts come pouring in all at once. And then I feel like the worst and most undeserving person alive.

Does it ever get any better?

[seoultous]

I try and think of things/people/etc. that I am grateful for and sometimes that works to push the negatives away - not all of them but enough of them so I can cope withl the bad thoughts.

[Skeezyks]

Occasionally I forget, momentarily, who I really am & I begin to feel almost... hopeful! Then all of the bad memories come flooding back & I am carried away on a wave of sadness...

[beigeish]

I get that feeling, too. Like I can be in the middle of an average day and suddenly remember that I feel trapped. Then the cloud starts to follow me again. That's when it starts to spiral.

I suppose the positive is that there are average days.

It got better for me.

I also had a period when my moods would seem better in one part of the day than the other. It was the opposite time of the day than you describe. I'd feel HORRIBLE in the morning, and then even sometimes feel hypomanic in the afternoon. I suppose it was the right medication mix that eventually helped with that, for me. Though I do still sometimes feel very tired in the morning, it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. And even being tired, I don't feel unwell mood-wise anymore. Just a little angry at the alarm clock. Once I get going nowadays I feel good quickly.

[emgreen]

Damn! In a recent post you wrote that things were on the upswing for you. I'm sorry you've been getting tripped up, & hope this is a passing thing. As for feeling unworthy, please don't go there. It's all too easy to get down on ourselves sometimes. IMO, you're "the cat's pajamas."