Uncertainty

Hello,
I am experiencing some difficulties at the moment, and am wondering if anyone could tell me what I may be experiencing. I plan to meet with a professional; I just want to know if others have gone through what I am.
I am 19, almost 20, and was diagnosed with Bipolar I a little over a year ago, though I have struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. I had my first, and only, manic episode about 2 years ago. I remember how strange and terrifying it was for me, and am a little worried I may be headed in that direction again. Here’s why. I am a university student, and returned to school two weeks ago. Since then, I cannot sleep, or rather I don’t seem to need sleep. I’m hungry all the time, but I get food and eat very little. I am having trouble focusing, and find myself walking to places and not knowing how I got there. I have dissociated before, but not like this, if that’s what this is. I have been very productive, and my grades are amazing right now. I find myself crying regularly and do not know why. I do not cry often, so this is strange for me. I am irritable, and want to hit and throw things regularly, which is also not normal for me. I guess my question is whether or not this is normal for someone with Bipolar I, and what I might do to help it. I am unmedicated, and if possible would prefer to remain so. I have not had positive experiences with medication in the past. I do not remember all the symptoms I had during my previous manic episode, so I am unsure if this is how it began.
Thank you for reading my ramblings. I don’t really know how to talk to my friends about this, and my family does not need to worry about this.

—-this is a complicated disorder. You have your education and peace of mind at stake. You are showing many symptoms that a psychiatrist could at least advise you about. The doctor could start with a mood leveler that may banish many of these symptoms. Why suffer like this? You wouldn’t go untreated w another disease.

The irritability, lack of sleep, hungry but not eating sounds like it could be a manic episode begining. The disassociation is also possible, I have very "unconnected" days where I float along but not to that extent. But it is different for everyone and its important to tell your doctor everything. Mania can exhibit differently. I stop caring about everything. Risky behaviour. No consequences, insomnia, alcohol binges.

If you are really concerned I would say give your doctor a call and maybe they can give advice or get you in sooner.

You need to be medicated. Especially while you're in school.

I would get a hold of my Pdoc sooner rather than later. Try and Nip this quickly.

Good luck

Thank you for your reply. I am definitely going to be getting into a doctor. I do not currently have one, but I will definitely be changing that. While being medicated is not ideal for me, I value the ability to think clearly and sanely.

Thank you. I also am a person who participates in risky behavior without consideration or care when I am manic. i am looking for a doctor, because I do not have anything but my primary physician since I have been unmedicated for a couple years now. I have to go see my physician for something else, so I will also ask him about any recommendations of local doctors he may have.