It's strange. I sometimes look at bipolar as this "part" that I have to drag around with me and others I see it integrated into every decision, thought, idea, and action I make. I guess it's probably a bit of mix of the two -- but days like this remind me how low I can get, and how high I can go.

I know you all can relate -- the downswing from (hypo)manic is torture. I'm in a low point right now that I'm finding very hard to fight. I don't feel like my medicines working, I don't feel like I'm dealing with my problems, I don't feel like it's getting better, I'm losing all energy to go to work, I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, and I hate going to sleep because I know tomorrow still awaits.

It just sucks.

[seoultous]

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day. I don't know how I am going to feel when I get up in the morning. Is it likely to be a good day or a bad day? There's really no way to tell.

[SorryShaped]

I see bipolar as a part of me but not a controlling interest. It does sometimes take control, but each part of me does sometimes, like a snake with two heads, but more like about 9.
I'm sorry you're having issues right now. I know some of what you're feeling. I loathe those times when it hurts to move, emotionally hurts to move. It seems like I spiral and collapse into my own inadequacy.
If you need support, keep posting. I'll read it. I've been there. I'm here.

[~Christina]

Many of us could write exactly what you have.

Just remember that Bipolar will always cycle .... only consistent thing it ever does

[Nammu]

I used to see this thin BP line on one side was mania on the other was depression. As I age I relize that the line is my doing, it's really a very think barrier. Not every up is mania and not every down is depression nope there's a whole lot of uncomfortable feelings and moods that aren't nessasarly BP.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I used to see this thin BP line on one side was mania on the other was depression. As I age I relize that the line is my doing, it's really a very think barrier. Not every up is mania and not every down is depression nope there's a whole lot of uncomfortable feelings and moods that aren't nessasarly BP.

Well said. ^^

[emgreen]

Yeah...What Nammu said. I block out any thoughts of BP as being part of my identity. I don't discount the disruptive nature of BP, but every emotion hiccup isn't related to my disorder. Having written this, however, I know the pain & anxiety you're experiencing are very real. I hope things look up for you soon.