[RickAndMorty]

Hi everyone I joined this site just to ask this question honestly. I was diagnosed bipolar 10 years ago and have been receiving treatment for it ever since. I have had a few episodes before but I fear for my mental state right now more than any prior experience I have ever had. I recently just started an accelerated nursing program at one of the best nursing schools in the country. Needless to say the workload is extremely intense and I have found it to be unbearable honestly. I don't eat anymore because I have no appetite at all and when I do eat I force myself to. I don't sleep most of the business week then I typically crash on Saturday's until the afternoon and then I go back to not sleeping or sleeping with waking numerous times a night. Every thought I have is consumed by nursing school and my workload and failure. I am constantly anxious and experiencing chest pain a lot. I know I am manic because of my inability to sleep and eat are typically clear indicators and I also cannot stop talking. I always experience racing thoughts, and I always and I mean always have a song stuck in my head. Recently I can have more than one song stuck in my head or the song I do have stuck in my head is so loud that it is absolutely miserable, especially when it coincides with the racing thoughts. This is all affecting me so terribly that I almost got in a car accident recently and thought "well at least I wouldn't have had to taken my quiz tomorrow." I also cannot think straight and get so ridden with anxiety that even though my life is consume by my program I am not even doing well with my grades. I am constantly up and down on a daily basis for a little over two months now and its only getting worse. I can go from depressed to manic 5-10 times a day and it's so draining, I fear I am ultra rapid cycling because I literally feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster, as cliche as that sounds. I fear that I soon will have a mental breakdown or get physically ill. Before the last two months I was doing very well with my life and medications. My meds still help but not nearly like they used to and I even had my antidepressant recently increased to help but I feel like nothing is working and I am only getting worse everyday. Any help is greatly appreciated as I have not expressed the severity of my situation to anyone yet and I am stuck in a relationship where I cannot even talk about my mental illness (don't worry, i'll be dealing with that later), for now I am just worried about what to do from here. Is this rapid cycling? Has anyone ever experienced it, and if so what alleviated some of the symptoms? Does anyone else constantly have a song in their head, and if so what helps it? Any feedback, advice, or words of wisdom are beyond greatly appreciated.

-B

[pirilin]

I have several songs. Not at the same time though. I sing to them.

[Skeezyks]

Hello -B: I'm sorry I can't be of help with regard to your concerns. However I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

[wildflowerchild25]

Hello and welcome to PC. I have no advice but I wanted to say I understand what you’re going through. It is not school killing me right now but my job and I feel the same way you do, just on an emotional roller coaster every day all day. My anxiety is so bad I am having physical symptoms (chest pain, jaw pain from clenching my teeth), which never happens to me. The anxiety over work is creeping into my whole life.

My only solution for myself is to grit my teeth (literally) and hold on as long as I can. I only have 4.5 months to deal with (I am a teacher and my job ends in June). How long do you have in your program? Do you feel the accelerated pace is what’s doing you in? Would it be possible to take a less stressfully paced program? Believe me I know it would feel like failing but it really wouldn’t be.

[wildflowerchild25]

By the way it may not necessarily be ultra rapid cycling which is really rather rare but a mixed episode. Symptoms of depression and mania at the same time. Stress tends to bring on mixed episodes fore me. Right now I seemed to be irritably depressed/anxious but I am worried about progressing into mixed episode before the school year is out.

[giddykitty]

I've had a particular song on repeat for the past 2-3 days and adding a few in there. Not at all unfamiliar to me!
Can't speak about the rapid cycling, as I'm still pretty newly diagnosed and still trying to sort out what's what, but i definitely also have up and down moods in my history. Past few years, these moods have been lasting more days or I'm actually paying attention to it, knowing what all constitutes a mood and about "mixed" moods. Keep in touch, check out the different sections on the site, because it's really helpful. Best wishes!

You need to call your doc to give you something to slow down.

I have Olanzapine for such emergencies. It makes me sleep and slows me down quickly

Yes, I become obsessed with music when this happens and I will have a theme song stuck in my head.

Don’t Look Back or I’ll Be Gone, usually.

If you wipe out, be sure to get a letter from your doctor to give to the school.

The school will tell you your options.

My daughter got an excused withdrawal from the university when my husband/her father died. They do this for medical reasons too.

[~Christina]

Sounds mixed to me. Are you only on a antidepressant?

Welcome to PC

[Wander]

Welcome!! I agree, mixed episode seems to be the culprit. They are horrible to go through. When do you see your psychiatrist next? Maybe a med change will help. Sorry you are suffering so. Keep posting.