I don’t know what to do

I know how hard it is when nothing works. It took many years and a huge number of meds (40some meds, 70 combinations without includind dose changes) to get me somewhat controlled. But meds that are used for people who don't respond well to meds have made a huge difference for me. One is Emsam, which is an MAOI anti-depressant. The other is Clozaril which is an AP that is intended to be used as a last resort. Both of these meds have downsides but they keep me alive. Even incredibly high doses of most meds didn't help me.

Therapy is really important too. Have you considered trying one of the online therapy options where you communicate with your therapist via email? I think that's how the one advertised on PC works.

Have you gotten any sleep yet?
bizi

Have you thought much about learning how to drive so that you could be able to get to your appointments?
This would help you feel better and get you out of the house to be with other people and not so isolated.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I can't drive because of dissociation and panic/anxiety attacks.

i'm never going to be able to drive. pointless. i've still not slept. i don't even know why i come here. also pointless.

i think im done here as well

When you are interested in coming back to PC, please do. I assume this is what you mean when saying that you are done here. Otherwise, I wish you the best. Maybe a break from your routine, which includes PC, will be helpful to you? If I were you, I would not abandon too much of your support system. I would not withdraw from life. This would be not good at all.

Maybe taking a break from PC would help you for a bit .. I have had to take a step back and just focus on me and not read about the struggles fellow members go through.

Regardless I hope you are safe.