[jtassar93]

I’m at a loss

[Wild Coyote]

You have sounded very lost in your last two threads.
It feels like it's difficult to reach you, too.
I am very concerned about you.

What's going on?

Is it time for an inpatient visit to the hospital?

Keep posting. We will try to help.

Stay safe!


WC

[jtassar93]

I don’t want to go there again

[Wild Coyote]

What's going on?


WC

[jtassar93]

There’s too much to even type out

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed.

It's difficult to advise you, or to even visit with you, without any information.

Can you tell us how can we be supportive to you?


WC

[jtassar93]

I just want to be done with everything. It’s tiring

[Wild Coyote]

Dealing with an illness and all of the complications can be very overwhelming, very tiring.

I recall it's been very difficult for you to get to appointments at times. I think your therapist left/changed recently? Is this correct? If so, have you met your new therapist and how is it going with her/him?

I recall you get most of your support from your mom. I know your mom works a lot. Does she know you are feeling down?

Are you isolating during the day or are you getting out a bit?

How are your meds working out?
Which meds are you on now?


WC

[jtassar93]

I don’t have a therapist anymore.
I rapid cycle and am up and down. I have been called treatment resistant. No meds ever help for that long. No one is ever home to even notice

[Wild Coyote]

I am typing in this info. for you incase we don't connect and/or incase you want to talk with someone.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255
Available 24/7.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Please do use this info. if you are so tired and overwhelmed you are at risk of harming yourself and/or are wanting to end your life.


WC

[jtassar93]

Thank you

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by jtassar93

I don’t have a therapist anymore.
I rapid cycle and am up and down. I have been called treatment resistant. No meds ever help for that long. No one is ever home to even notice

I am sorry it's so very challenging.

The treatment resistant part is very difficult to accept. I do know, I have had treatment resistant depression for over 30 years. It's very disheartening when drugs either don't work or do not keep working. This, alone, can make you feel hopeless.

There are others here on this site with treatment resistant illnesses. You are not alone.

I know both of your parents work a lot and you are much closer to your mom. Can you tell her you need help from her?


WC

[jtassar93]

I’ve been in my room for 2 weeks. I didn’t sleep for 5 days straight and was hallucinating. I passed out and have been sleeping. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of switching moods. My mom is too busy anyways

[Wild Coyote]

Just because someone told you your illness is treatment resistant, it does not mean they are 100% right on. A psychiatrist should be working with you, trying various types of meds and med combinations. New drugs come out often. You never know if/when something is going to work. We have to keep trying, even if we need a break now and then.

Your life is valuable. It doesn't feel like it because your mom is so busy and you haven't had some of the support you need from a therapist, etc.
I know you don't want to "bother" your mom, but PLEASE DO BOTHER HER!
This is very important!

If you were to talk with her, do you know what you'd tell her?


WC

[jtassar93]

I don’t like telling my problems to people I know. It’s too embarrassing. I just keep to myself

[Wild Coyote]

I know that feeling. I fear feeling embarrassed, too.

I need a lot of support. I see my psychiatrist, who is also my therapist, about 2-3 times a month, depending on how I am doing. It's hard to admit I need his support and the support of others in the household -- and I do not tell people in my household everything. They know enough to know I need meds and I need to work with a pdoc and a therapist.

He is constantly adjusting meds. I appreciate him trying, but I also get tired of it. Sometimes I have to take a break, re-group, and try again.

It can put a strain on the budget, but I can help with that through using my disability pay. I recall you've won your disability case! Is that all set now, with you receiving benefits/money? That was a major triumph!

So if you need help, you cannot let your mom know?

How are you going to get the support you need?


WC

[jtassar93]

I don’t even know. I don’t know how to talk to people

[Wild Coyote]

Can you say, "Mom, I need help"?

Could you add something like: "This is very serious. My life depends upon it"?

Could you let her know without telling her all of the details?

I am SURE she does not want to lose you.

I am focusing on your mom because I know she helps you with transportation and helps you to access things you need.

Are you still seeing your doctor/psychiatrist?
How often?


WC

[jtassar93]

I don’t know if I can do that.

I see him once a month. He’s lost interest in me. Doesn’t bother anymore

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by jtassar93

I don’t know if I can do that.

I see him once a month. He’s lost interest in me. Doesn’t bother anymore

Is it possible to see a different psychiatrist, either for a consult or for care?

I am thinking you live in a rural area, where it's difficult to get this kind of help nearby. Is this correct?

I could make other suggestions ,like an intensive outpatient program (IOP), which I feel would be great for you, if you have services nearby.


WC

[jtassar93]

All doctors around here are booked with patients. We have to go through insurance so it’s hard to find one.

I can’t drive to get to iop.

You don’t have to talk to me anymore. It’s ok

[Wild Coyote]

I think your being in touch with people, on the phone and/or online might help with your hallucinations. It's not a cure, but it might help to keep you a bit more grounded. Talk with friends/family, too.

I am strongly encouraging you to talk to your mom. I think you can do it. Just think about what you need to say, what you need her to know and keep it as simple as possible.

Sweetheart, you and your life are too precious to stay in your room for 2 weeks, hallucinating. You deserve more!

We all need support. We are not islands unto ourselves. Humans were made to need one another's love, understanding and support.

Please don't be embarrassed for asking for help/support.

I have had a long day and need to go to bed. I will check in here again in the morning. Other members may be along to interact/post. There is also "chat" here and, often, people are already in the chatrooms.

Please keep the hotline number/info. handy, incase you want to talk with someone.

I hope you have a restful night.

Much Love to you!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Good morning!

I hope you have had a restful night.
Just checking in on you.


WC

[jtassar93]

I haven’t slept yet

[Wild Coyote]

I haven't slept much, yet am very tired tonight.
I'd had my nieces over for lunch. We had fun!

What's keeping you from sleeping?
What did you do with your time?


WC