[HALLIEBETH87]

I'm Doing rather well lately and even my psyd says I seem to be doing well.

I saw him today. We got to talking about my Abusive stepmother and he said she seems to have an antisocial personality aka sociopath. Immediately I had a bad memory of when she made my dad shoot our dogs and I could hear the dang gun. I told him and he said to look around because I was in a safe place. I recovered from that ok I guess but I'm still Feeling very on edge and anxious since. I've had more bad memories come up too.

I also asked if he thinks I truly have borderline and he said he thinks it's more an issue of complex trauma than a personality d/o. He said pdocs are too quick
To give that dx and there's a ton of stigma attached to it.

I also found out he loves sauerkraut and hotdogs with Mustard.


This has been a weird session.
And I'm feeling off
Now.

[~Christina]

I think him walking you through that awful memory was priceless. He’s a great guy !

Every bipolar or any MI has some traits of bpd. So I trust in a T’s judgement on PD’s quicker than a Pdoc

Good job!!!!!!!!!

[HALLIEBETH87]

Yea it was near the end so i wish there'd been more time to process the crap.

[HopeForChange]

My heart breaks for you that you had to go through something that traumatic. I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say to take away the pain, but I wanted to at least let you know that I really feel for you. Take good care of yourself!

[bizi]

Did you go through this with your therapist or your pdoc?
Your pdoc does therapy with you?
sorry I am confused....
bizi

[HALLIEBETH87]

i went through this with my psychologist/therapist.

i just see my pdoc for meds.

[HALLIEBETH87]

In happy to say that the bad memories stopped last night and i relaxed enough to sleep.

My psyd still wants to do EMDR with me. I have a cousin who says I need to just get over my childhood and sick it up but I grew up with a sociopath abusing me and my dad doing crazy **** and making me want to die everyday. I ran away at 17. No one saved me. I had to escape my stepmother alone. ALONE! She never did anything to help me get out of there.

Anyway...I look forward to and dread doing EMDR. I'm worried about the memories that will come back to me and how I'll feel.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I did intense exposure therapy rather than EMDR and it was scary going in for the same reasons you said but it helped so much and now (6 years later) I have so much less PTSD stuff. It was hard work and I needed more sessions over a longer period than the therapy is designed for (it was supposed to weekly for 12 weeks; I was twice a week for 3 or 4 months because that was what I could handle).

But with a therapist you trust trauma therapy is totally worth the anxiety it is so nice to live with the end results.