[Shazerac]

Ok so I guess that’s once again I have to admit that I’m human. I’ve been hanging around this forum long enough that I kind of know people and their situation. I truely am happy when I observe someone conquering their demons and getting to a stable happy place.

BUT, and this is a big butt, I also feel envious and feeling like I’m a failure, because I “should” be progressing too. I wish I could cut myself some damned slack! And I’m going to work on that. The central theme to responses to my posts seems to be self acceptance.

The death of my 2 sisters this past year really threw a monkey wrench into my stability train. Guilt that I should have visited them more or helped more in some way. Also they were both younger than me. That scares me. It doesn’t help that their deaths were not age related. I feel like I failed them. I’m the older sister I should have done something. It’s not rational I know! But there it is.

I’m seriously considering going back into therapy. It’s been a long time. Last time I visited my Pdoc she wanted to see me in 3 weeks, instead of the usual 2 to 3 months. That was a wake up call.

[wildflowerchild25]

Maybe look into grief counseling specifically? My t is an all around t but when I want to focus on the grief aspect of my life we do.

Grief counselling and therapy is really important. I agree—do go

I was finally diagnosed as bipolar three years after my husband passed away. That is late in life (age 50). I fell into a suicidal depression that no one recognized (including my therapist, who didn’t know I was bipolar).

I was also going to a grief support group that felt strongly that grief isn’t something that should be medicated. That played into me not seeking help when I needed it. So ignore that if you hear it; they don’t know about grief triggering episodes in bipolar disorder.

I think life events like deaths in the family can make bipolar disorder worse, and a therapist that understands both bipolar and grief would be ideal.

[Daonnachd]

We each must travel our own path. For you this applies to both the bipolar disorder and the grief.

Keep writing us here about your journey. Word is, it helps to get things out. Besides, it'll also get you more hugs.

I wish I could give you a real hug right now. I understand the envy and the grief. (Tomorrow's my grandma's memorial service.)

A'best

[*Laurie*]

Hey lady...cut yourself some slack. I'm having a rough go after losing 1 sister; you've lost 2.

I believe that therapy would be a really good idea at this time.

[Wild Coyote]

Losses can be so very difficult to deal with, especially if we are feeling guilty (like we should have done more).

Yes, I, too, understand the grief and the envy.

I hope your therapist can help.


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Sorry for the loss of your sisters.

Grief is hard enough to deal with. Compounding it with guilt and comparing makes it really difficult.

You definitely would benefit with therapy for the grief issues.

Not everybody progresses at the same time. Sometimes people are knocked down over and over. Sometimes there is a long period of stability and everything falls down again. What you do to take care of yourself, day by day, matters the most.