[TiredofPTSD]

I'm in my early 50's and have had bipolar since my mid-teens. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 30's. I've worked with several counselors, support groups (NAMI), changed medications, etc. Probably a lot of the same as many of you here on this thread. I was able to work FT with my illness until 2004, when I was told I could no longer work. I wasn't in the best of relationships, and this wasn't acceptable to him, so I had to work.

Fast forwarding a bit, by 2008 I had a wonderful woman take a chance on me and hired me as her secretary for 15 hrs/week. I was able to get up to 35 hours and when she sold her firm, the new owner let me go. Since then, I had another great job, but due to being on SSDI, I had to watch my hours, based on what they were paying me. I couldn't work more than 25 and when I did, I'd end up in the hospital. Now, in 2018, I can work 20-25 hours, but can't get a job that will give me those hours regularly. Most jobs I can get are in retail, and when the season is slow, the hours drop very low, adding to the stress of supporting myself.

Since I've turned 50, I've had a hard time accepting my limitations which have not only affected my places of employment, but also my relationships (friends, family and romantic). It has been very trying on my happiness, even though I keep a gratitude journal and really try to appreciate what I have in my life. I'm tired of the work it takes to just get through the day. Along with bipolar, I developed Generalized Anxiety Disorder at 14 and again wasn't diagnosed until my 30's. I was also diagnosed with PTSD prior to my bipolar. I use CBT and recently, over the past 3 years, DBT skills when I can, I meditate, draw, have a chime ring on my phone every half hour to bring me into the present moment and journal.

What I'm wondering is how are others handling how bipolar has affected their lives? What did you find helpful in getting through the changes? Thanks for letting me vent/write.

[*Laurie*]

I spend A LOT of time alone. Well, alone with my cats. I would not be able to function around people on a daily basis.

[diamondprincess]

It is VERY difficult getting through the days, thats why I chose to work from home so I can handle the changes better by myself. I also like to come on here to talk to people and vent if I need to and that helps a lot too. This site has been a life saver. If you want to talk more you can join my Skype group (no video chat, just typing) if you are interested

[Unrigged64072835]

It was hard. At the time when I had a meltdown and was too anxious to do anything work wise, I applied for all the disability benefits I could get. I got all of them, so that helped.

I then looked for groups online. (I have agoraphobia and couldn't drive due to panic attacks.) I found a few and still see them each day. I eventually started going to college online as well.

I'm doing better but still don't have everything there to go back to full-time work.

[TiredofPTSD]

Thank you Fharraige for sharing your story. I too suffer from Agoraphobia and it has been getting worse as I get older. It also usually hits on my sunny days off. I’m glad to hear you got all of your benefits and are going to college online. That’s great!

[TiredofPTSD]

Thank you DiamondPrincess for sharing your story. May I ask what kind of work you do from home? That is something I have thought of from time to time, but haven’t had much luck with it. My body is so tired from the stress of working, I end up eating worse than I should.
When do you do your skype chats? I’d like to learn more about them.

[diamondprincess]

I work for a company that helps people get birth or death certificates. Its not the ideal job, because you have to deal with any customers at times, but I deal with it, because I get to do it alone. As far as the Skype chats, I haven't started yet. I am trying to get people to join now. I just need your username so I can add you.