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#1
May 23, 2018, 04:16 PM
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I have had issues with suicidal ideation for a long time. Luckily I have never acted on it. However I will get very strong urges. Like lately I am realizing how easy it would be.
I am conflicted because I don’t think I want to necessarily kill myself but I want to take them Also I refuse to give them to someone to hold like my T wants me to. I think it is a control thing. Just the urges get strong at times and with my work issues it is getting worse. Last edited by Turtleboy; May 25, 2018 at 04:41 AM. Reason: Bring within guidelines |
 HALLIEBETH87, liveforsummer, rwwff, Skeezyks, wildflowerchild25
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#2
May 23, 2018, 06:17 PM
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Well... I have to tell you that, based on my experience, it seems to me you may be playing with fire as the saying goes. I've made two previous attempts of this sort. Neither of them were planned. And I wasn't particularly depressed either (at least not any more than usual.) I don't even think I knew it was coming. I just woke up each of the two mornings in question. I was angry (at myself & the world.)
 So I suddenly decided I was going to do something about it.  And since I had enough pills stored up, I had the means to do it.  Of course, what mental health professionals always say is: if you feel you may be in danger call someone. But what I have said to a number of the professionals I've seen is... if I was rational enough to know I needed to call someone, then I wouldn't likely be in any real danger. But if I was really in danger, it's unlikely I would be rational enough to call someone. So... given that you say you have very strong urges, my thinking would be that having access to the pills you have may be really asking for trouble. I wish you well... 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
 wildflowerchild25
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#3
May 23, 2018, 07:22 PM
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We have pills to help us yet sometimes having them in our possession can be a risky thing. Please be safe!
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#4
May 23, 2018, 08:31 PM
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Call a warm line and talk with someone. Do you have a family member that can come get your pills? Just leave you with a few days worth.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#5
May 24, 2018, 08:13 PM
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I don't want to sound pessimistic, however, taking a lot of pills is the worst record in the industry.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
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