[MistressStayc]

I seem to find myself frequently in a mixed state. This has been going on over a long period of time but has become more noticeable and frequent recently. I bounce back and forth between feeling down, agitated, irritable, angry, like I might be getting hypo (though it doesn’t last long enough to count as actual hypomania) and back to just plain stable till I start bouncing again. None of these is enough to severely interfere with my daily functioning. It’s mild to moderate and I generally cope ok. I do have those spikes every once in a while to severe but they don’t last long usually and I recover pretty quickly.

It is exhausting sometimes and the change comes seemingly out of nowhere. For example, my BF will say or do something fairly benign but it rubs me the wrong way or triggers an irrational thought and I get all emotional or irritable or angry. Another example, my students will have a really off day (I teach students with autism and other disabilities) and again I am triggered into a mixed state. My sensible side knows I am mixed and lashing out in some irrational way but I just can’t get control of the feels without popping a klonopin sometimes (only .5mg prn, otherwise I am med free at the moment, under pdoc supervision and support). I can typically shrug these things off unless it seems it’s time to cycle back to mixed.

Could this just be my baseline? Is it common to float in and out of mixed states like this continuously without a depressive cycle or hypomanic cycle? Anyone else experience this? Just looking for some feedback.

Before you ask, I have a pdoc appt on the 11th and plan to discuss it with him. I am debating going back on a mood stabilizer but like I said it doesn’t severely impact me usually.

[Nola0250]

For me, “doesn’t severely impact me” translates to: “I can cover it.” In other words I’m not happy but you can’t tell I’m having a hard time. I can do it but I can’t do it AND enjoy my life. That’s why I’m on mood stabilizers, otherwise my life would be a misery.

How bad is yours? Is it a big deal to handle those mixed episodes? If so I’d consider meds.

[Gabyunbound]

I'm truly sorry that you're struggling so much.

I'm curious as to why you see these issues as 'mixed' episodes? From what you describe, they sound like very rapid changes in mood that last for very short periods of time. They could be relatively 'normal' ups and down (as you say they, for the most part, don't impinge on your life too much) or they could be ultra rapid cycling (which is controversial in parts of the psychiatric field as part of a diagnosis) or it could be intense reactions to life events that could either indicate BPD or otherwise being very sensitive to what is going on around you.

Do you have a therapist? I think getting a hold, first and foremost, on what is going on with you, will help you find a solution. A mood stabilizer might help, but if, as you say, it doesn't impact you too much, maybe therapy would do the trick. Best of luck in feeling better!

[MusicLover82]

My pdoc frequently checks the box "mixed state" in my checkout slip from my visits with him. It might be my unfortunate "baseline," too. I'd like to think my baseline is normal, but feelings of normalcy tend to happen for me when I'm not under much stress and my meds are "just so." Antipsychotics such as Abilify and Latuda have helped my mixed states the most, just FYI. Good luck! I would definitely discuss your options with my pdoc.