[NolaMae]

I'm to the point where I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of fighting this that it's to the point where I just want to give up on all meds since they're not working anyway. Diagnosed with bipolar 14 years ago and when the h*ll does it get better? Am I medication resistant?

All I know is that I am going through extreme anxiety right now. This is new. I don't want to leave the house. It's not that I'm scared of leaving the house, it's just that when I get out in public among any people at all my anxiety levels go through the roof. I'm even anxious when I'm at home alone. It's causing muscle tension which is almost unbearable.

Anyway, do you think this is a symptom of mania? I'm on a low dose of lithium but it's not helping, nor is the clonazepam and I absolutely refuse to go above my prescribed dose of that. I know my pdoc can increase the lithium and I will do it, but I am afraid of possible kidney and thyroid problems. I can't take an antipsychotic because I developed tardive dyskenisia on my last one and I can never, ever go through that again.

Again, I just don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm seeing a new therapist on Thursday and I hope he can help. I've been to so many and none of them have really helped me at all.

I just don't have the strength any more. I just want to die, but I can't do that to my family. I guess I'm just looking for a listening ear right now.

"Diagnosed with bipolar disorder 14 years ago. Meds don't work"

I am glad you've been diagnosed. But it's important to ask whether you've been switching doctors and/or therapists, as this can severely damage the treatment plan. Also, you should ask others around you about your condition rather than thinking about it yourself as this can cause severe distress while your mind is making things up. Did your doc change your meds, gave you therapy? Drugs don't work in all cases.. I suggest you to talk to your doctor about this rather than keeping it as a secret. I doubt anyone would suggest you to stop getting help as this is quite dangerous.

"Anxiety as a symptom of mania."
I do not know about this. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, sometimes bipolar disorder can and often will cause anxiety if you've co-morbidity with anxiety and/or depression. Rather than viewing it as a symptom of your mood state, I suggest you to consider the illness instead. Complications over time should arise due to the severity of this disorder.

Do not try to end your life. You've been given one shot at life and you cannot commit suicide. There's no "undo" button there, and you are going to die eventually okay, the suffering will end ultimately, but to halt its progression, there are living people who very much want to treat your conditions, but for that you need to be alive.

Man, I think you're going through a drug interaction between the two.

If it's a sudden change in you thinking and in plain English, there is probably a good good time to get an "updated" review of your meds.

It's unfortunate that we do feel like test rats for the future generations to come, but it doesn't mean it's time for the horse to stop a just continue drinking water.

Regardless, water would help, but not cold or alcohol I nature.

I've been having many strange"shifts", but I haven't been following the doctors word.

Get a pharmacy to check if your unable to go out side. Over the phone. They'll point you in the most helpful way they can until you "suit up".

[NolaMae]

Ive been to 5 psychiatrists in the last 14 years. One moved his practice out of town, one switched to group counseling only, and 2 retired. I like my current psychiatrist a lot. I’ve been seeing her for 2 years. But she keeps switching drugs around until I feel like a human guinea pig.

I’ve also seen 5 therapists in the last 14 years. One was a LCSW and I felt like I wasn’t getting the help I needed. Same with the second one. My third one was really good, but I found out she lives next door to my daughter and I just wasn’t comfortable with that. One of them I just didn’t have a good rapport with. And the one I’m seeing now is so brusque in his manner that I leave feeling worse. I’m hoping the one I’m seeing on Thursday will be better. I’m tired of all this hopping around.

Do not lose hope. Drug switching is considered as a good thing because the doctor is making the best out of it (they even look at the color of your palm to get an idea how your body is responding to meds.) All I can suggest is to be patient. You seem out of luck because you had to hop around this many times.

It takes years to be diagnosed with a mental illness
(scroll down to Diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia (USA criteria).)

Please be patient and stick to one psychiatrist and one therapist. Or at least try to.

[SparkySmart]

We're not supposed to be dispensing medical advice here, and I know we're all different, and drugs affect us differently, but in my case Trazodone 50 mg sent me into orbit with anxiety and resulted in a hypertensive emergency which took me to the ER. Some months later, when I couldn't sleep one night, I took another 50 mg of Trazodone, thinking that my first reaction may have been a fluke, and the same d****ed thing happened. I dumped the rest of the pills in the trashcan so I would never be tempted to experiment again. I asked my pdoc to never prescribe it for me again under any circumstances.

I'm also VERY sensitive to Wellbutrin. The 75 mg tablets are fine (as long as I'm also taking an antipsychotic), but the 150 mg tablets sent me into a screaming mania with rapid and disorganized speech, profuse sweating, a visible tremor, and out-of-control anger.

I just noticed that you're taking both of these meds and wonder if they might be causing some of your anxiety? Since your anxiety is a recent symptom (?) I wouldn't recommend making changes without a physician's supervision, but I sure would get some advice quickly. Once I even called a pharmacist and asked him to review my meds to see if they could be causing my problem, or if there could be interactions that hadn't been anticipated by my doctor.

Good luck with all this.

[*Laurie*]

I also had a frightening reaction to Trazodone, very similar to SparkySmart's. I question whether the stuff should even be made available.

Anyway, Yes! Severe anxiety can definitely be a type of hypomania or mania. It is called "dysphoric mania" and, in my experience, it is the most difficult symptom bipolar disorder can present.

If you haven’t tried gabapentin, do strongly consider it.

It is effective on bipolar anxiety, and it is a live saver for me.

It’s not addictive, although one member here says he had a problem, but I think that is not typical. They do give me a little buzz and others report feeling it, and that is a big relief when you need it. I think they are more pleasant than pain pills. I only take them in the evening or bedtime, and I have low dose ones if I’m having an anxious day—I work so I try not to use them during working hours.

Good luck.

[Pookyl]

I suffer from severe anxiety and mania but never at the same time. In fact, one of the reasons I love mania is that it’s the only time I have no anxiety.

The anxiety, wanting to die etc actually sounds like a mixed episode.

I read an article in the suspiciously glossy BP Magazine that suggested that periods of severe anxiety were in fact part of the bipolar disease cycle and constituted a third phase of the disorder, making us all tripolar. I've experienced such crippling post-mania anxiety periods and I found the article an affirmation of my suffering.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Supreme Soviet

I read an article in the suspiciously glossy BP Magazine that suggested that periods of severe anxiety were in fact part of the bipolar disease cycle and constituted a third phase of the disorder, making us all tripolar. I've experienced such crippling post-mania anxiety periods and I found the article an affirmation of my suffering.

I believe that's where the diagnosis of bipolar 1 and bipolar 2 are headed...toward bipolar 3, bipolar 4...or something like that.