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  #1  
Old Jun 02, 2018, 06:06 PM
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The same person whom I saw as a spider tried to mess with my mind tonight. He said "Hey! What are those black things in your eyes?" He said hed read a story online that was specifically about me saying my symptoms are really demons taking over my brain. When I protested that I always know when I'm hallucinating he said that he would have mesmerized me so I couldn't know. He asked if my new therapist gave me any feedback about why spiders and I said she did not. I feel he was trying to shake my grasp on reality and even though i almost lost if when I saw him as a spider I haven't since.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
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  #2  
Old Jun 02, 2018, 06:54 PM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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Hey Moose, How are you feeling in general these days?
  #3  
Old Jun 02, 2018, 07:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Laurie* View Post
Hey Moose, How are you feeling in general these days?
Good went to a huge neighborhoodwide. Garage sale today and found two rings and some sunglasses for. $4 total. Still have mean friends- or am i really going crazy?
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #4  
Old Jun 02, 2018, 10:44 PM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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That's great - the garage sale, I mean.

Your friend...I don't think it's nice at all that he teases you about things you see or hear.
  #5  
Old Jun 02, 2018, 11:22 PM
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Now I cant sleep! :-( its 12:22
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Hugs from:
*Laurie*
  #6  
Old Jun 02, 2018, 11:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Laurie* View Post
That's great - the garage sale, I mean.

Your friend...I don't think it's nice at all that he teases you about things you see or hear.
Im seeing him as evil now. Hes an evil being thats trying to trick me and harm me and I should run fast and far.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Hugs from:
*Laurie*
  #7  
Old Jun 03, 2018, 12:07 AM
AspiringAuthor AspiringAuthor is offline
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I have not seen you in several months. I see that Zyprexa is gone from your signature. I try to not take it, either - brutal weight gain. But, maybe Rexulti is not at good at controlling hallucidations?
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Bipolar I w/Psychotic features

Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Melatonin 10 mg
Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past)


past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax
  #8  
Old Jun 04, 2018, 03:16 PM
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Hes not responding to me now. He texted me that he loves me. What a stupid ****er.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #9  
Old Jun 04, 2018, 07:06 PM
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What exactly should i tell pdoc on friday when i see her? Id like to let her read my last couple blog posts but i dont think shed go for that
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #10  
Old Jun 04, 2018, 08:53 PM
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I say print them out and take them anyway
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schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*, Wild Coyote
  #11  
Old Jun 04, 2018, 09:36 PM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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I agree with Halliebeth.
  #12  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 01:09 AM
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I also agree with Halliebeth.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sound this unwell. Take care.
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Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel.
PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone
  #13  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 06:15 AM
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Ill try to after my mammogram. There used to be computers and printers in the library.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Hugs from:
*Laurie*
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*
  #14  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 04:33 PM
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I forgot today. I have another appointment there thursday. I hope to print them then because my pdoc appt is friday.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #15  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 05:03 PM
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Im at home. No one understands when I tell them about the spider monster ready to eat me up- to bit me and destroy me. Evil being! The evil being who then took his black eyes and tried to trick me saying I have black eyes! Devil!! HE is the devil in spider form hiding.... Saying I am possessed... Yes possessed by him indeed! A soul so evil it has no soul. And THEN to continually stick out his spindly legs to try to contact me! I seeeee you! Run away into the corner where you belong. I see those black eyes and telling me im poessed you evil evil ****er. You are not my friend though you pretend you are. Am I scared? Too right! To have this being in front of me quietly speaking lies as "the truth". You follow me everywhere I go. Get back to your dusty corner.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #16  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 06:11 PM
AspiringAuthor AspiringAuthor is offline
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If the spider is real, can you catch and kill it?
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Bipolar I w/Psychotic features

Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Melatonin 10 mg
Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past)


past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax
  #17  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 06:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor View Post
If the spider is real, can you catch and kill it?
Kill the spider monster? The one who sat across the table from me with black eyes saying evil things?
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #18  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 08:29 PM
AspiringAuthor AspiringAuthor is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Kill the spider monster? The one who sat across the table from me with black eyes saying evil things?
Yes, and I would also ask pdoc if you can take Zyprexa PRN.
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features

Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Melatonin 10 mg
Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past)


past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax
  #19  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor View Post
Yes, and I would also ask pdoc if you can take Zyprexa PRN.
I dunno about zyprexa. S h e will no doubt tweak my meds though. When I see that evil ****ing spider again i will kill it
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Thanks for this!
AspiringAuthor
  #20  
Old Jun 05, 2018, 09:16 PM
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I was talking to a long-time friend who is now a therapist used to be brain drug researcher about this topic and he just stopped replying! Nice....
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #21  
Old Jun 06, 2018, 06:50 AM
AspiringAuthor AspiringAuthor is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
I was talking to a long-time friend who is now a therapist used to be brain drug researcher about this topic and he just stopped replying! Nice....
Oops, not nice of him. I hope the pdoc tweaks the meds successfully. Not nice of him!
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features

Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Melatonin 10 mg
Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past)


past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax
  #22  
Old Jun 06, 2018, 08:53 AM
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I hope they’re paying rent.
  #23  
Old Jun 06, 2018, 10:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asteya View Post
I hope they’re paying rent.
Huh? ???
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #24  
Old Jun 06, 2018, 01:18 PM
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My long-time friend and nurse told me last night that everything- not just seeing the spider-man- I mentioned to her about the last two weeks has been a hallucination.

In fact, when I talked with a nurse with my psych nurse's office, she said the entire conversation I had with Peter about being possessed was a hallucination and that I sounded like I was having hallucinations and delusions. I still see my psych nurse in 2 days.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #25  
Old Jun 06, 2018, 02:12 PM
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Nurse wanted to know if i wanted to harm him. I told her that if he came to my door i wouldnt let him in. But the truth is if he got in i dunno what id do.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice
Ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 6 mg

Gabapentin 600 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
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