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#1
Jun 02, 2018, 06:06 PM
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The same person whom I saw as a spider tried to mess with my mind tonight. He said "Hey! What are those black things in your eyes?" He said hed read a story online that was specifically about me saying my symptoms are really demons taking over my brain. When I protested that I always know when I'm hallucinating he said that he would have mesmerized me so I couldn't know. He asked if my new therapist gave me any feedback about why spiders and I said she did not. I feel he was trying to shake my grasp on reality and even though i almost lost if when I saw him as a spider I haven't since.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
 *Laurie*
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#2
Jun 02, 2018, 06:54 PM
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Hey Moose, How are you feeling in general these days?
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#3
Jun 02, 2018, 07:16 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#4
Jun 02, 2018, 10:44 PM
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That's great - the garage sale, I mean.
Your friend...I don't think it's nice at all that he teases you about things you see or hear. |
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#5
Jun 02, 2018, 11:22 PM
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Now I cant sleep! :-( its 12:22
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Laurie*
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#6
Jun 02, 2018, 11:25 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Laurie*
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#7
Jun 03, 2018, 12:07 AM
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I have not seen you in several months. I see that Zyprexa is gone from your signature. I try to not take it, either - brutal weight gain. But, maybe Rexulti is not at good at controlling hallucidations?
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Melatonin 10 mg Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past) past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax |
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#8
Jun 04, 2018, 03:16 PM
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Hes not responding to me now. He texted me that he loves me. What a stupid ****er.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#9
Jun 04, 2018, 07:06 PM
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What exactly should i tell pdoc on friday when i see her? Id like to let her read my last couple blog posts but i dont think shed go for that
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#10
Jun 04, 2018, 08:53 PM
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I say print them out and take them anyway
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
 *Laurie*, Wild Coyote
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#11
Jun 04, 2018, 09:36 PM
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I agree with Halliebeth.
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#12
Jun 05, 2018, 01:09 AM
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I also agree with Halliebeth.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sound this unwell. Take care.
__________________
Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
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#13
Jun 05, 2018, 06:15 AM
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Ill try to after my mammogram. There used to be computers and printers in the library.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Laurie*
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| *Laurie*
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#14
Jun 05, 2018, 04:33 PM
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I forgot today. I have another appointment there thursday. I hope to print them then because my pdoc appt is friday.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#15
Jun 05, 2018, 05:03 PM
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Im at home. No one understands when I tell them about the spider monster ready to eat me up- to bit me and destroy me. Evil being! The evil being who then took his black eyes and tried to trick me saying I have black eyes! Devil!! HE is the devil in spider form hiding.... Saying I am possessed... Yes possessed by him indeed! A soul so evil it has no soul. And THEN to continually stick out his spindly legs to try to contact me! I seeeee you! Run away into the corner where you belong. I see those black eyes and telling me im poessed you evil evil ****er. You are not my friend though you pretend you are. Am I scared? Too right! To have this being in front of me quietly speaking lies as "the truth". You follow me everywhere I go. Get back to your dusty corner.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#16
Jun 05, 2018, 06:11 PM
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If the spider is real, can you catch and kill it?
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Melatonin 10 mg Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past) past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax |
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#17
Jun 05, 2018, 06:45 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#18
Jun 05, 2018, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Melatonin 10 mg Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past) past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax |
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#19
Jun 05, 2018, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| AspiringAuthor
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#20
Jun 05, 2018, 09:16 PM
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I was talking to a long-time friend who is now a therapist used to be brain drug researcher about this topic and he just stopped replying! Nice....
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#21
Jun 06, 2018, 06:50 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Melatonin 10 mg Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past) past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax |
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#22
Jun 06, 2018, 08:53 AM
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I hope they’re paying rent.
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#23
Jun 06, 2018, 10:34 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#24
Jun 06, 2018, 01:18 PM
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My long-time friend and nurse told me last night that everything- not just seeing the spider-man- I mentioned to her about the last two weeks has been a hallucination.
In fact, when I talked with a nurse with my psych nurse's office, she said the entire conversation I had with Peter about being possessed was a hallucination and that I sounded like I was having hallucinations and delusions. I still see my psych nurse in 2 days.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#25
Jun 06, 2018, 02:12 PM
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Nurse wanted to know if i wanted to harm him. I told her that if he came to my door i wouldnt let him in. But the truth is if he got in i dunno what id do.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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