I wish I could go back in time

and go IP like a week ago. The stress of dealing with psychosis, realizing it is psychosis, and trying to keep my head up is just too much right now. I'm really down right now, but I made it this far and if I can avoid the hospital I will. What are they going to do anyways? If going helped long term I wouldn't be in this position.
I think the thing is I'm not humble enough to admit I need to go and ask someone to take me.

I can't remember...do you at least have a pdoc you can get in to see? If not, the hospital may be your best option. Psychosis is awful. I had it happen to me one time and it was just a short span before I got help and was told it was psychosis (I hadn't realized it was going on and kept getting confused as to what was reality and what wasn't).

It’s not too late to go IP.
It can help you come down from psychosis in a safe place at a safe pace. You don’t want to crash if possible. Crashing is awful.

Right now I'm in PHP and I get to see a pdoc 2x a week. The meds must be starting to do their job because I'm not avoiding things that could be brainwashing me as much. But now that I think about it maybe it's actually happening and the meds are just dumbing me down so sublimation. But then in the past I thought weird things and had similar experiences with voices and hallucinations and then those things weren't true so it probably is my disorder, and I am more in touch with reality. I don't know everything is so confusing. I'm still infond of the shower.

Spikes,

I can identify with your footer.... Sounds about how I feel....