[diamondprincess]

I was watching a bipolar success story if you will and felt happy for a moment, then thought well what happens when another tragedy happens or the situation won't really get better (like if it involves family for instance). What then? Are we just doomed for misery? Are we just better of being alone, though we don't really want it?

[UpDownAround]

What is a "normal life"?

At best I am sort of stable but still quirky as the ups and downs are just controlled so they aren't bad, not nonexistent. My marriage is pretty bad right now and separation is on the horizon; BP has a lot to do with that. But there were some good times and if it falls apart I will still look for someone else.

[diamondprincess]

Originally Posted by UpDownAround

What is a "normal life"?

At best I am sort of stable but still quirky as the ups and downs are just controlled so they aren't bad, not nonexistent. My marriage is pretty bad right now and separation is on the horizon; BP has a lot to do with that. But there were some good times and if it falls apart I will still look for someone else.

How long were you married?

[UpDownAround]

I am still married. Separation is imminent; we have discussed it. Married over 27 years, but about half of those have been rocky. My mood swings and drinking when I was down (sober over a year, but it's too late from her perspective) pretty much did it in. We have been separated in the same house for a few years. She won't share a bed, even for short episodes. We sleep in separate rooms. Oddly enough, I think sobriety and stability (sort of) are making the idea of actually legally separating higher. She cares enough about me to feel responsible and wouldn't do it when I would crash and burn. She doesn't state it directly like that, but she says it in a round about way.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm married and mostly happy. We both have bp. He tends towards depression and I tend towards mania/mixed. Neither of us work. He's my caregiver because of CP.

[BipolaRNurse]

What is this "normal life" of which you speak?

Seriously, I'm not sure there is such a thing, at least not for us. I think the best we can do is stay on top of our meds and therapy so we can make our lives work. Many people with our illness hold jobs, maintain relationships, raise kids, volunteer in the community and so on. Some of us can't, and that's "normal" for us. Even in a diminished capacity, those of us who can't work and be "productive" may be able to create a fulfilling life for ourselves if we work at it. I like to think I've done so with my own life; yes, I live with my son, but I'm like the elder stateswoman of the house and I get to dispense wisdom on my good days, and hide away in my room on my bad ones if I so choose. It's not the life I dreamed of or the life I lived when I wasn't so worn down by my illness. But it's a life, and not a bad one at that.

[pirilin]

Yes it's very possible.

Let's start by "a normal life". I think you mean having a family, friends and a decent income. Right?.
Not only it is possible. It's happening to millions right now. Mostly to the undiagnosed.
And to the diagnosed too. In a minor scale.

I think branding a human being with a label so deep and wide as bipolar, affects it all by itself.
The quackers, as doctors think of shrinks, should find a way to treat a pacient without adding to the problem.
Most of us have a story of "before and after" being diagnosed.

Bipolar is a spectrum disease. In some of us, it was genetics. In others it was created by trauma or situation.
Some of us need intensive treatment to function properly in society. Others. no so much.

I know a bipolar1 sitting in the board of a worldwide company.
I also know non bipolars begging quarters in a corner. Or worse. Living off my tax dollars.

Don't let the branding seat too deep in you. Is just a label.
You can do anything you set out to do. Period.
There are only three real limitations. And that goes for everybody.
Time, only 24 hours a day. Hands, you only have 2. And your mindset.

Good luck. Cheers.

[WishfulThinker66]

Again, what is the context and definition of what you consider 'normal'. Perhaps instead what you really mean is a 'stable' life?

I have been relatively stable now, my last hospitalization being three years ago. I thank the medication for this. I have steadily improved and feel it is time to resume working which I consider the final step in recovery.

[Blueberrybook]

I don't know that anyone has a "normal" life per se.

I am married. We mostly do OK with some arguments here and there like all married couples. He doesn't quite get bipolar, but he's better than he was about it than when I was first diagnosed (he came into the marriage knowing I'd had an eating disorder and was diagnosed with depression). We have parenting challenges with my daughter who is super-smart but has a ton of sensory issues. He is more lax, and I am more strict. We really need to come together on parenting, but it is tough. Our 14th anniversary is August 4. I knew within 2 weeks of dating him that it would be a long-term relationship that would likely end in marriage. We were together just over a year when he proposed, and because I was overwhelmed with planning a wedding, a year later, we just finally eloped. I wouldn't do it differently. So we've been together around 16 years and have a 10 year old daughter.

Still, with BP, I can't work. I have tried and tried. Every job nearly causes me to go into the psych hospital. Maybe I could do something simple, but my resume overqualifies me for those jobs since I have an M.S. in Cell & Molecular Biology.

I haven't been hospitalized since grad school, around 2003, I think. I'm not counting medical hospitalizations like giving birth or emergency ulcer surgery.

I had one 6 month stint of stability. If I ever get back to something like that, I would be so happy. Otherwise, I am stuck with depression, mania, or the flat affect most meds give me (which usually causes me to get the bright ides to stop some or all of my meds at once).

This last month hasn't been too bad for me though, with a few off-days.

My bipolar and anxiety are well managed with meds. My borderline is a lot better, but still a loose canon.

I have a relatively normal life. Family, friends, house, business, vacations and what not. Everyone knows I'm loopy. They accept it. You can be and do anything you want to. Dont ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

[diamondprincess]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl2

My bipolar and anxiety are well managed with meds. My borderline is a lot better, but still a loose canon.

I have a relatively normal life. Family, friends, house, business, vacations and what not. Everyone knows I'm loopy. They accept it. You can be and do anything you want to. Dont ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thank you so much!! Thats exactly what I needed to hear