[bizi]

LOL
good morning to you!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[bizi]

AF tonight.
For lunch I Had sea bass couvillion ( Coo -v-yawn)I think that I spelled it wrong though. That is how you say it.
The fish had many bones and was fishy unlike most sea bass experiences I have had before. Had that over tabouli with chard and coleslaw
good lunch. Ate with a friend so that was good.

Back to sandras to pick up some talapia. I bought 3 pounds of it for $30 that will make 12 servings. That is $2.50 a serving.

For dinner we split a pizza at home tonight. Paul newmans makes one that is lower in calories.
we split one and it is 500 calories each which is not bad for dinner., or pizza for that matter.
I post on a hams site for harm reduction.

They advocate learning to moderate your drinking.
They think my plan is a good one.If I can not drink monday thru thursday. then drink on friday, sounds like a plan. I don't ever see myself not drinking totally.
I went to the local store meat market to pick up pork chops on sale for $1.89 instead of $3.50 a pound. ( that is roughly $1.00 a pork chop)...
So that is a good price.
Filled up my gas tank and ran to the dollar tree to pick up some lotion and nail polish and soap for work.
when I got home hubby was worried about me....he did not know that I was going to do errands too, other than the pork chops.
anyway
I have been on the computer long enough.
my back is sore and my neck is better thankfully, it is going on 2 weeks that I injured it myself cracking it.
sigh
Maybe I will run to planet fitness and just use the hydro bed?
and maybe the bounce machine too.
bizi

[bizi]

Had a good lunch of left over hamburger and chard in veggie soup at sandras cafe which was very good, I hated to let those left overs go to waste so I put them in a tupperware container and put them on a cold pack in my cooler and saw an altzheimers client then went to sandras for lunch.
In the singles area, I ate and I spoke with a man, Ray who is a recent widower and he is very nice and talkative. We talked for over an hour, nice to have someone to talk to at lunch, since our lunch bunch broke up.
I only rarely get to see paula any more, same with Nikko.
After lunch I saw 3 more clients and got home early from work.
The witching hour...I survived and did not stop by fat pats, instead just went home and we had an early dinner of lemon pepper talapia cooked in coconut oil and a cup of veggie soup.
hubby cooked so I cleaned up.
I ran a few errands, took back the bio flex supplement because they were so big it hurt taking them plus I did not like the tast and did not feel that they helped.I did not have a receipt so had to buy something in the store for the store credit. I ended up buying the olay night cream, whip and very soothing going on tonight only on my fore head.
The frozen areas on my face are starting to darken up, she said it could take weeks for the whole process to work. I should have several dark spots removed by then.
I also went to bed bath and beyond to buy an oral B electric tooth brush.
then to the grocery store to get some stamps and steak seasoning for the pork chops for tomorrow nights dinner.
I ended up going to the gym a bit later than I wanted. Walked 3.5 miles on the tred mill so was happy about that, 10 minutes on the hydromassage bed which is a nice reward for walking. Came home to watch seinfeld and then terms of engagement which is very funny.
Filled up my pill container for the day and took my night meds. Checking the forums and will go to bed shortly. I don't have to get up early which I like and get up with out an alarm.
This has been a great day.
bizi

[bizi]

The witching hour came and went with little difficulty.
This week Staying AF was much easier knowing
that I would allow myself to drink friday night at whole foods.
Will be mindful of my dinner choice while there as I am still dieting so I don't want to blow it.
I was back up to 183 last week and have come down to 179. I know this is probably water weight but I am a slave to the scale as I have said repeatedly.
I know that I have an addictive personality.
Food, alcohol, internet.....
extremes are my nature.
lunch today: Chicken salad with nuts and raisins and veganaise. and a side of cooked collard greens with onions.
Saw 3 more clients and was done earlier than normal so I changed shirts and grabbed a container of disinfection wipes/sheets and headed for the carport. Took a broom and swept the ceiling of cob webs. wiped down the ledges and 2 doors which were filthy!!! I even wiped down the tops of the big trash bin and the recycling one too.
It looks so much better and felt good to do some work.
Jeff cooked pork chops using montreal steak seasoning yum! with a side of mixed veggies(brocolli, cawliflower, carrots) and a cucumber tomato salad in a vinegrette from sandras health food cafe. And I had one olive stuffed with feta cheese.
It was delicious!
7pm what to do?
I could go to the gym tonight and walk on the tred mill they say we should do some activity every day. Maybe I could try a different machine? My neck is better and I have to watch my knees and hips as I have arthritis in all 3 areas.
And watch cooking competitions. and use the hydro bed as a reward.
Still having hot flashes but not as bad as before and not as often, am having one right now and that is why I mentioned it.
WEll I had better get moving as I don't want to waste the evening on this computer, trying to be mindful of this.
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

You enjoy watching cooking competitions? I do! I find them very relaxing.

WC

[bizi]

who can beat bobbie flyn????
elliptical 30 minutes that was hard to do

tred mill 5 incline 15 minutes easy

recumbent bicycle 15 minutes easy
success
no hydro bed wasn't up to it since I just did it last night.
bizi

[bizi]

Our meals come today sometime before 8pm...hoping they come earlier in the day so we can put them in the refrigerator. As we will be gone starting at 5pm for trivia tonight. I might not drink that much as the alcohol really disrupts the bodies ability to lose weight.

Back down to 178 this morning. I was up to 183 last week. I know it is water weight but am still happy with the scale.

And I have not gone to the bath room in 3 days...not good.
I took more mag oxide last night but no go. I am not drinking enough water.
I only have 3 clients today which puts me done early with time to kill right at the witching hour for drinks.
Last night I told jeff that we need to clean something in the house a little bit each day because the house needs it.

He agreed.
We sill see if this works or not.
I am getting ready to take a much needed shower.
Have a great weekend my friends.
bizi

[bizi]

Ate too much and drank too much, jeff drove home.
I don't remember trivia....
sigh
bizi

[bizi]

I feel fine this morning so that is good.
Getting ready to have lunch at chris' po boys.
I am getting my hair done today.
It is supposed to rain, if it doesn't then we will go to art walk tonight.
We will make one of the dinners tonight.
This was the cheap one, $25 dollars for 6 meals. We don't like the fact that everything is just all mixed up. It is not separated like the last one. and not as fresh looking either....you get what you pay for.
bizi

[bizi]

WE cooked the first of 3 meals:
sausage with pasta dish it was very good.
It had red peppers and cream cheese and diced tomatoes, chopped onion, garlic parmesan cheese.
WE both liked it, There are left overs.
tomorrow we go to a pool party but I will not be in a bathing suit
...nope not going there.
Art walk was tonight. Saw alot of interesting work.
My feet got tired I was in new shoes and had not broken them in...I need to see if I can get them stretched. They are leather so I should be able to.
A couple of beers and a couple of glasses a wine...not too bad.
Getting ready to have some pop corn and a fudge bar only 40 calories!
My hands are so swollen , my fingers are like sausages...very uncomfortable.I can barely move my wedding rings. Wonder what that is about.
bizi

[Tucson]

Send me the leftovers!

[bizi]

I call myself an alcoholic (I say I have an addictive personality: food, alcohol , internet) but don't want anyone else to call me that. Maybe I feel it is a judgement on their part, judging me.
I don't want to be judged.
I already feel ashamed of a behavior, when I choose to drink and drive. Usually I have only had a few and I am very close to home 5 blocks, neighbor hood blocks, 25 miles per hour blocks.
I am embarrassed by how much weight I have gained. I look in the mirror and wonder who is this woman????
anyway.
I wonder if this rings true to other people who suffer with addictions?

lunch today was a mix up of healthy food and not so healthy food.
I was on the north west side of lafayette, scott LA. Home of the best boudin balls in the area. So I had to stop for one but ended up ordering 2, one regular and one pepperjack cheese. they were both delicious! After that I went to sandras health food cafe and had a piece of veggie quiche.

For dinner I Had a good meal tonight of chicken fahitas the 2nd meal from the food box meals. tomorrow is sweet and spicy chicken teryaki over rice.

I passed the witching hour for beer, small cravings when I saw hubby having one.
I have said that I was not going to drink until friday when we go to pensicola for a quick trip for 2 nights. It is kinda like a last hurrah before hubby goes back to teaching, and to celebrate our wedding anniversary which is the 24th.
We made it to 22 years!
So I still have time to think of some gift for him.
I am terrible at gift giving.

After dinner I went to planet fitness and walked on the tred mill for 75 minutes. 60 of which were on a 5% incline. I went 3.5 miles, and actually sweat a bit. Then rewarded myself with 10 minutes on the hydro message bed.

I am a bit hungry maybe have a fudge bar for 40 calories.
I am missing seinfeld but will catch the second one at 10pm.
my neck is a lot better about 80%. don't know if it my arthritis or
muscular, probably both.
All in all I saw 3 clients today and had another area frozen off of my fore head it did not take.. Last monday I had 10 areas frozen....dark sun spots from the sun.
I am considering have more cosmetic surgery, light therapy maybe laser. My face is riddled with scars from acne and rosacea spider veins on my checks I still deal with acne.. I hate my complexion.
Will see, it is expensive!

Hubby says to do it.
He is a good man and am very lucky to be married to him
bizi

[bizi]

Took a shower!!!!!!
Left over Cabbage soup for breakfast, 3 cups of coffee.
lunch was veggie lasagna from sandras with swiss chard.
mid afternoon I snacked on some almonds and took a caffeine pill.
dinner was the last of the meal box. sweet and spicy stir fry chicken teriyaki .
It took the longest time to cook about 45 minutes.
It was very good.
had 2 pieces of dark chocolate for desert
but was feeling like that was not enough so I had a fudge bar.
oh rats I am having more hot flashes today have had 3 when I had not had any in quite a while. I really thought I was done with that part. guess not....
My hands are glistening as I type.
I intended to do some paper work but that did not happen.
Maybe I can get up early and do some in the morning.
It is possible that I could do this!
I remained alcohol free as per my goal until friday
when we go to pensicola florida for a couple of days.

Saw 4 clients....great day!
bizi

[bizi]

Got up early this morning to do paperwork as I did not get any done last night. Billing is done, now all that is left is filing which is easy to do.

Last night I booked our first outing for prague. We will go to a dinner with mozart/ vocalists and 5 piece quintet in a lovely venue.
On to my 3rd cup of coffee...need to start getting ready for the day.
bizi

[bizi]

Got done early today which was not good as then the witching hour comes sooner and becomes that much more difficult to remain alcohol free.
And on my way home I had to chant in my head "I am in control, I am in control" and so one for half the ride home.,,,then almost went to Fat Pats for a couple of beers just down the street from my house. Almost.
I remembered this acronym: Halt, Was I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?
So I sat on this for a while and decided that I was hungry.
Then as soon as I got home I reheated some left overs for an early dinner.
Pasta/sausage and some lentil/rice that I picked up at sandras.
I also drank a cream soda which I love..
Had too much to eat, then I had a fudge bar and reevaluated how I felt.
Well, I was tired, kept falling asleep at the computer so decided to lay down and take a nap.
In the mean time Jeff has gone to a dinner meeting.
There is beer in the fridge that I love.
I just woke up from an hour and a half nap ... I had gotten up early at 6:30 am to do paper work that I did not get done last night.
Importantly, I remained alcohol free.
Was going to go to the gym but it is too late.
Saw 4 clients today, had lunch with an acquaintance, Bill.
I would say this was a successful day.
bizi

[Nammu]

Wow, super successful day. Halt sounds like a marvelous coping mechanism.

[Wild Coyote]

I love HALT!
Learned it in ACOA.
Great job!

WC

[bizi]

edited to say:
I ended up going to the gym and walked a 5K.
now am headed to bed.
thanks for your support!
bizi

So proud of you, bizi! Great job! (And HALT's a great psych skill, agreed.)

[bizi]

Thank you for your support!
bizi

[bizi]

so far for the past 2 weeks I have stuck by my plan. Alcohol free monday thru thursday the drink friday sat and sunday.
It will be the same this weekend when we go to pensicola for the weekend. WE will spend 2 nights at the Paradise Inn Should be fun.
I told jeff that I wanted to be able to go to the beach in the mornings when he feeds the seagulls.
Really don't want to get sick again like usual from drinking too much.
But really looking forward to the bush whackers(think frosty with rum).
It will be hot there but cooler in the evenings when we like to walk on the beech.
Dawn the bartender remembers us each year...or at least she says she does.
The tiki hut right out side our room, plays music every night until 11pm. A lot of locals hang out there. I can't remember how many years we have been going there.
They have a board walk/dock that people pull up to in their boats to have dinner and watch the band play.
WE leave in the morning. I think it is a 6 hour drive there maybe shorter.
Hubby came home earlier than me and is resting on the couch.
Today was a long day for him. Classes officially start monday.
Tonight we are going to some friends house for dinner.I should have mentioned that I am dieting and not drinking tonight. I need to convince myself in this resolve.
bizi

[bizi]

It was a very nice dinner. WE were there from 6:45 to 9pm.
My girl friend cooked dinner a beef stew she made cheese grits. cucumber and tomato salad. She made crescent rolls, I ate 3 of them. She had cookies for desert I think I had 4 of them, small chocolate chip kind.

Instead of drinking I ate.
one addiction for another.
sigh
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Just stopped in to tell you I love you just the way you are!


WC

[bizi]

love you too, my dear.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[bizi]

At my friends house last night...my girl friend announced that she was never going to lose her weight gain and that she has given up and just accepting her size.

That maybe good for her, I am not ready to give up.
I am not happy looking at the scale this morning nor myself......
179.9....3 years ago I was 137. ( I drank a lot of good beer in those 3 years!)
sigh
bizi