Who here with BP have trauma in the past? Anyone not? TW: suicide/sexual abuse

I always thought bipolar was just something I had pretty much all of my life from age 4 to 5 or on. I also had an incident of sexual abuse occur around that age. But I also have a ton of mental illness on my mother's side of the family. I think my late grandfather was bipolar; he was always up and down. My great-grandfather on that side killed himself. My aunts & my mom too have mental issues (but they also had a brother & sister drown (at about the ages of 17 & 19), while my mom & one aunt were in their early teens (13, maybe 15), and those 2 witnessed the drowning; my youngest aunt on that side was not present then. My grandmother (still alive) is always very anxious, but she had such a hard past and losing 2 children like that especially at once and so young couldn't be easy; plus the boy even shared her birthday. But there are siblings of my grandfather (from a huge family, a child of 9-11 kids, 2 cousins later taken in when their parents died, I think in a car crash). My sister did a huge genealogy on that side of the family for a recent family reunion, and she found out a lot of things, heard lots of stories (though people told her not to mention them at the reunion), persistent alcoholism, lots of family members in jail for things like theft, repeated DWIs, edler abuse (by forfeiting money while taking care of elderly financial bills & money accounts), and drugs, mental illness, a sibling of my grandfather who killed all the family chickens by stuffing corn cobs down their throats while the rest of the family was away from home.

This morning, I awoke from a dream starring the uncle who abused me, and it was so real even though I was college age in the dream, and the incident happened when I was 4 or 5. I woke up in a full-blown panic attack. I lay there for 2 hours trying to calm my breathing and couldn't go back to sleep.

I had another traumatic incident occur in a massage parlor when I was an adult, but this happened after I was diagnosed with bipolar. And again, I had a very traumatic incident by being a nearly unintended gunshot victim, balcony glass door shot out while I was asleep, bullet wedging in a book in the bookcase across the living room, if I had been sleeping in the living room or had a studio apartment at the time, I would surely have been shot because it was very small, the guy was aiming for the patio door of the girl living below me (his girlfriend or ex), who was out of town at the time, I am not sure if he knew this or not. I was in grad school and already mis-diagnosed with major depression, and correctly with an eathing disorder & panic disorder). The police tore my life apart since they thought I was involved, going so far as to accuse me of shooting out my own door from the parking lot for attention when I didn't even own a gun. They saw prescription psych meds out since I never had company over & agreed they could search my apartment as I had nothing of alarm there & never thought I'd be part of a police investigation. Later, after they caught the guy, the police "reassured" me the guy was aiming for the apartment below mine, I should feel safe, but how safe would anyone feel living above a girl who associated with men like that? It led to a hospitalization for severe panic disorder. My father was verbally, mentally, and physically abusive growing up. I never had good male role models except my grandfather on my dad's side, but he got Alzheimer's when I was in middle school, and he passed away when I was in 10th grade. Plus, he had had a rough life and was a first-generation immigrant to the U.S. Even though he spoke & understood English fluently, he preferred to speak his native language (Czech) with my grandmother on that side. I don't have many memories of him except him reading picture books to my sister and me and loving to pick up fallen pecans from the pecan tree and shelling them. They had the variety of pecan tree that grew the longer pecans, much easier to crack & shell than the smaller, common ones. The long ones even I could crack as a child wearing hard soled shoes and that he loved watermelon and cherries. I later found out on a trip to the Czech Republic that cherry trees are abundant there, which is probably why he liked to eat them so much.

I wonder though...is trauma strongly linked to bipolar, or was I just borne with the wrong genes to start with? Is it a combination, or would I have ended up with it anyway?

Has anyone here ended up with bipolar without a traumatic life incident?

cln1812, you and your family certainly do have a traumatic past. I hope you can continue to heal from those tragedies. It certainly sounds to me that bipolar disorder (or other mental illnesses) played a big part in some of the tragedies, but others sound like ones that were just terrible circumstances.

I do not have PTSD, but have also been deeply affected by past traumas that very much had to do with my bipolar disorder. I was in ways affected in my ability to handle certain social relationships (from an early traumatic situation) and after four years of hellish manias (most with mixed features and psychosis) that followed severe stressors, I experienced additional challenges ranging from musical hallucinations, maladaptive daydreaming, dissociative events, migraines, a couple phobias, panic attacks, and a period of agoraphobia. Luckily with therapy and time, many of these things have passed or significantly eased.

Czech Republic has lots of fruit, and they do love cherries. A popular cake called bublanina traditionally is made with cherries and cherries are used in other things, including liquor. In Czech, the word for cherries is třešně. If of interest, my mother-in-law's bublanina recipe is posted at Cherry (or other fruit) Sponge Cake (Bublanina) Recipe | Taste of Home

My husband was born and raised in Prague, Czech Republic (Czechoslovakia at the time). He told me that his grandmother (babička) loved cherries so much that she would eat so many until her stomach hurt. Hubby never knew his grandfathers (dědové). Do you remember any Czech? Dobré ráno (Good morning!) or Dobré den! (if reading this in the later morning to early evening).

I have. A number of traumas

Lots of trauma. Very similar to your history.
I am very sorry for all you have been through.

WC

Not so much trauma here but difficulties growing up. I had an absent, alcoholic and drug addict father. I also made some bad choices as an early adult and married a man similar to my father...my father had BP1 and so did my sis so in my case I just feel I got the **** end of the gene distribution from him, lol.

I went through this as a teen. My BP symptoms didn't show themselves until I was in my early twenties. In my particular case, I don't think the one has to have something to do with the other. I think that extreme stress can make BP come out of the closet, so to speak, when you're genetically predisposed to it already, but I don't think that that has to be abuse necessarily. But that's just my opinion.

I grew up with all sorts- mostly abuse from family and relatives

but their other things too



not sure i've known a life without abuse/ trauma really

Yes. Life was pretty good until I was 6 years old. Then my world fell apart and it seemed to just continue on that way until I finally accepted that I live in a fallen-apart world. So I've done, and am doing, the best I can to cope with life this way.

After age 6 my family situation became terribly abusive, all the types of abuse in the book. I was raised by and surrounded by people with various types of mental and emotional illnesses. At age 18 I married a man who was 34 (no, he isn't a perv, just very emotionally immature). He's abusive, too, which is why we don't live together. I've stayed married to him for financial reasons.

My dad is an alcoholic- Im 46 now- and has been forever. His fatherwas a pedophile. I was sexually assulted by an older kid in middle school. I mean I should have PTSD and bipolar right? I dunno. I do have the traits of an ACOA- Adult Child Of an Alcoholic. In fact I mixed them up before I was diagnosed bipolar.

No history of trauma at all.

Interesting replies. I should have added, too, that I initially felt symptoms of BD when I was 4. There was no abuse until after age 6. Family mental illness, however.

Past trauma, yes. Started around the age of 5 or 6. The abuse didn't really hit me until I was in my twenties, having realized what happened. I wasn't diagnosed Bipolar until several years ago (maybe 2013-2014) when I had a full on manic episode in my therapist's office.

I was physically abused from age 8 to 18 but I think I had issues before that.

Mental illness runs in my family: my mother has depression and my sister had anxiety.

The big trauma in my life was losing my hearing at age 4. The man who abused me used that to his advantage, he said it was my fault God took my hearing but if I did what he said and didn't tell anyone then I'd get my hearing back. But BP didn't hit until my 20's

Oh my! I am so sorry that bast*** ever knew of you.

WC

II thought I had no trauma at all ... a psychologist ... after six sessions ... told me I had a lot and was probably ptsd also ... not sure about any of that ... but it was his opinion ...

I don't remember much personal history before high school, so who's to say? Is this due to ECT? I don't know.

I'm sorry to all who have had such traumas in your lives.
I've had physical trauma to my head just before my bp symptoms come up and I can't help but think it's related. No major emotional traumas thankfully.

I have family history and childhood abuse. I don't remember anything bad until I started kindergarten. However my mother was drinking and my father was physically abusive before that, if my mother was to be believed. Father's side of the family had depression and bipolar, and he may have been bipolar as well.

I was diagnosed with depression and borderline PD before being BP diagnosis. I didn't get a BP diagnosis until my late forties, about twenty years after the depression diagnosis. I knew there was something different with me when I started school, though.

This was exactly me too.