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#1
Aug 14, 2018, 11:27 AM
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Sorry for the non-BP related thread, but I think people with mental illness, like you guys, are so understanding and could give me advice.
Anyway, right before my grandma died on Monday last week, my sister handed her a religious Jesus cross necklace. My grandma held it in her hand tightly and smiled as she took her last breaths. I was thinking about giving the cross to my cousin even though the cross means a lot to me. I'm not religious, but I know how religious she was (Catholic). I'm not sure if I should give it to him, though. Quick background (about him being a war veteran, so hopefully this isn't triggering):
Possible trigger:
When my grandma died, he mentally could not go to her funeral. He had suicidal thoughts and it triggered his PTSD somehow. (Maybe it was her death that triggered his thoughts of other people's deaths? Not sure and I wasn't going to ask.) My grandparents were like 2nd parents to him because he would go over their house 2-3 times a week--oftentimes sleeping over--throughout his childhood and early adulthood. Both deaths wrecked him. My aunt said that when he went to his psychiatrist on Tuesday last week (the day after she died), he was there for about 2 hours. Normally, his appointments are 20 minutes long, if that, but he stayed for nearly 2 hours. My aunt figured he broke down and cried. (He never cries at all, either. She has only seen him cry once or twice in his life.) He also normally texts her multiple times a day, but never texted her once. (They live together, though.) Do you think I should offer the cross to him? If so, how should I go about doing it? I'd have to mail it to him, but that's not a problem. |
 Wild Coyote
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 Wild Coyote
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#2
Aug 14, 2018, 11:44 AM
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I'd call him and ask him if he wants the cross.
__________________
I'm bipolar 1, agoraphobic, ocd, and gad. Fairly happy go lucky. Prozac 20mg Geodon 80mg Saphris 10mg Lamictal 150mg All I can offer is my heartfelt honesty |
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#3
Aug 14, 2018, 12:30 PM
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Ask him and explain what you did to us, how he was close. It would be something physical he could have.
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#4
Aug 14, 2018, 02:00 PM
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I would ask him first, or wait until some time has passed at least. He's still raw and giving him something that would remind him of your grandma's death may still be triggering.
If he does want it I think it would be a great gift. |
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#5
Aug 14, 2018, 08:07 PM
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How thoughtful of you!
 I think offering him the cross is so very sweet of you. Thinking of you. WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. 
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#6
Aug 14, 2018, 09:04 PM
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This is very self less of you.
I agree call him and ask if he would like the cross, maybe wait a while. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#7
Aug 15, 2018, 02:37 PM
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I would let some time pass for everyone to grieve and then offer it.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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