[Under*Over]

This thread isnt to brag, it really isnt.

Its more to talk about well... Ive been diagnosed as bipolar but its been well treated for a couple of years now to the point where sometimes I feel like I am in the middle between having an illness to take care of and being completely fine. Sometimes I even wonder if anything is wrong with me... but then I get a lingering symtom that comes to kick me in the butt.

Anyone else experience anything like this? Like being caught between two worlds?

[bioChE]

I’m BP I. GAD. ADHD.

I’m an engineer for a major biopharm company. It’s a rather high-functioning job.

Yes it’s possible.

[*Laurie*]

Sure! Many people with BD are highly functional. Not unusual at all.

[Tucson]

I understand what you are saying. I wish I was well enough to be struggling with this as you are. I am sorry I cannot help.

[Blueberrybook]

Don't I wish.

[Under*Over]

Originally Posted by bioChE

I’m BP I. GAD. ADHD.

I’m an engineer for a major biopharm company. It’s a rather high-functioning job.

Yes it’s possible.

Wow interesting because this is exactly what I have been diagnosed with.

I really owe a lot of my stability to finally finding a medication combination that works for me... and probably just pure luck. I mean. I still get dips and I still have troubling symptoms (my mood is controlled a lot better than my psychotic symptoms are)

But its all... so much better than it has been. And has been for a while. But now Im in this limbo of not being actively sick but not being able to truly relax because getting sick again is still possible and probable. So its odd. Its like- just a reminder that no matter how well I get Ill never be truly well.

Plus I feel bad complaining given that so many people are still struggling with some of the things that are just... have been so awful to me. It feels odd complaining about things since they have gotten better because it almost feels I dont have the right to.

Even though... maybe that doesnt make sense? I dont know

[Gabyunbound]

Originally Posted by Under*Over

Wow interesting because this is exactly what I have been diagnosed with.

I really owe a lot of my stability to finally finding a medication combination that works for me... and probably just pure luck. I mean. I still get dips and I still have troubling symptoms (my mood is controlled a lot better than my psychotic symptoms are)

But its all... so much better than it has been. And has been for a while. But now Im in this limbo of not being actively sick but not being able to truly relax because getting sick again is still possible and probable. So its odd. Its like- just a reminder that no matter how well I get Ill never be truly well.

Plus I feel bad complaining given that so many people are still struggling with some of the things that are just... have been so awful to me. It feels odd complaining about things since they have gotten better because it almost feels I dont have the right to.

Even though... maybe that doesnt make sense? I dont know

I hope it brings you some solace to know that a specialist in Bipolar I saw at Stanford told me that she had 'plenty' of patients who had been stable for 10 years. So just because you've been stable for so long, doesn't mean that another episode is right around the corner. I have to try to remind myself of the same sometimes.

[jingertee]

I know exactly what you mean. I have said to my psychologist once that I almost feel guilty for wearing the bipolar label so openly, coz I am high functioning. She says that the reason why, is because I do my share. Take the meds, see the drs, live healthy.

[hopeless2015]

I agree 100% with jigertree. I I totally relate to this thread.

[esodapop79]

Originally Posted by Under*Over

This thread isnt to brag, it really isnt.

Its more to talk about well... Ive been diagnosed as bipolar but its been well treated for a couple of years now to the point where sometimes I feel like I am in the middle between having an illness to take care of and being completely fine. Sometimes I even wonder if anything is wrong with me... but then I get a lingering symtom that comes to kick me in the butt.

Anyone else experience anything like this? Like being caught between two worlds?

Most days I'm quite manic, but I enjoy the elated feeling and all the things I can accomplish....

[*Laurie*]

"Between two worlds" is a perfect description. I often feel isolated, stuck in that chasm between the worlds. I find comfort in being part of a support group with others who are in the same position.

Hey Under*Over, I know what you mean. Though I don't know that I'd call myself high -functioning (I can only handle a virtually no stress part time job with no phones or public interaction), I've been doing well BP-wise (though another dx not well) for awhile now and I like to think I'm... not cured obviously, but kinda "normal", whatever *that* means.

It'd be really easy to over-extend myself right now. I KNOW that doing well can be attributed to meds and work on my part (better sleep hygiene for instance), but yeah, I know at any minute it could all go to ****. And yet am I tempted to tweak the meds? Yup.

(I might make a thread about why, but even without that reason I'd be tempted to think maybe I don't need them(!!!!))

Anyhow, yes, doing alright and it's kinda weird. I can SO relate to your post #6. Instead of feeling odd or bad or like you have no right to complain when doing well, maybe reframe that to think about that you are in a place where you are able to give back (I know I have a hard time feeling useful when I'm doing badly).

Take when we need, give when we can -- it's what makes the forums go 'round. And that doesn't mean no "complaining" (which you aren't), because even when doing well we can have challenges to deal with.

So it's all good as they say. Glad you are doing well. Hooray!