I want to talk to my therapist about the possibility of me having high-functioning autism (Asperger's), but I don't know how to go about doing it.

I actually had a therapy appointment earlier today (at 7:45am). We spent a good chunk of the time talking about my job situation (me applying for new jobs and going through interview processes) even though I wanted to talk about Asperger's instead.

When I asked her about my bipolar Dx's, she insisted that I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features. She said she's "seen" me manic and depressed, as well as "psychotic." However, she is only one person. She does not think there is a coincidence that 3 professional, full psychological evaluations agree on some form of bipolar 1. I'm not sure on that, though, as I believe I may have misreported symptoms by mistake. (But I talked about that topic in my other thread anyways, so Im not going to elaborate.)

So rather than argue with her about the bipolar Dx, I just want to talk about the possibility of Asperger's. I'll let her think what she wants. However, I'm so anxious about asking about Asperger's. She already knows that I have social problems, flat affect, monotone voice (?*), etc.. I'm just afraid of judgment even though I know she won't judge me. I just feel embarrassed and I don't want to come across as someone who self diagnoses, if that makes sense.

Btw, I've never been evaluated for Asperger's. I've had 4 psychological evaluations, but I was only tested for ADHD, depression, Bipolar, GAD, OCD, Sz, and SzA.

-------

?* -- I talked to someone on this forum over the phone and they think that I don't have a monotonous voice, so who knows. Maybe my therapist and the neuropsychologist are being weird, or maybe I was just zoning out when I was talking to them.

[Victoria'smom]

My son is being tested for ASD this January. He doesn't have psychosis but he's probably has BP and ADHD as well. We don't know what tests will be ordered until beginning of December. You can have multiple dx's BP doesn't exclude ASD and ASD doesn't exclude BP. I have seen you here having very high anxiety un-proportionate to stimuli that may have bordered psychosis. Why don't you get your drs notes and look over exactly what they see. I don't recommend it to almost anyone but no one can provide you answers. In one color highlight thinks you think are ASD in another highlight things you don't remember and want to talk about. Do NOT get your therapy notes I'm a firm believer that those notes can only cause trouble. Then take it to T and talk about it.

[~Christina]

Will you feel better if someone does say you could/ have Aspergers? Will that allow you to move forward ?

[Wild Coyote]

Simply request an evaluation for any condition you suspect.
Is this possible?

It's entirely possible to have more than one diagnosis.

Pursue the evaluation so you can get to a place of inner peace.

Please stay here with us, no matter what. We care about you.


WC

[Tucson]

I know you want to get the correct diagnosis and be provide with the correct treatment. Let me ask you some questions. How is your current diagnosis not working for you? How can we help you? Are you just wanting to voice your concerns? Are you expecting us to help you make a diagnosis? Sure, I will listen to you. But I myself have concerns for you.

I think you need to approach this more objectively. Self-diagnosis is IMO not a good idea. The words listed as criteria for Asperger, or any MI, that you read and think you understand, can have different significance to the trained professional. Many DX’s have overlapping symptoms. You may not be able to be entirely objective and self-aware to be in the position of attempting such a self-diagnosis. If it were this simple, then all you would need to do is take one of these tests available here at PC, letting the test determine your MI. At least this would be a more ovjective way toward a diagnosis.

Do you know what Aspergers actually is? What behavior to expect from people with such a diagnosis? How they would function in different situations? What they are and not are capable of? What life situations that they simply cannot deal with? I am simply saying that there is much more to understand here than whether you have flat affect. I talked to a trained professional about this who dealt with such a person on a daily basis. There are different behaviors to be expected that you probably would not glean through the straightforward descriptions available online. I was not able to do discern this for myself. There is much more involved than going through a checklist of symptoms.

I would be careful with your approach to this. Heck, get another opinion, even though I have no idea how this can help you. But then, I think you would be shopping for the pdoc that would give you the DX that you are specifically wanting to hear. How would this help you? But yes, they can make mistakes too.

Let me provide you with one last thought. I think the purpose of professional diagnosis and the following supportive care is to determine if there is a MI, and then one that is getting in the way for a person to function in their day-to-day life. If your life is working for you, you are not suffering, you are able to function like feed yourself and pay the bills, and may even be able to maintain a certain quality of life, then diagnosis and treatment may not be necessary for you to consider. However, if this is not the case, then I would heed the advice of your pdoc. Remember that there was a reason you went to them in the first place.

Well, this is all I will say about this matter. I hope I have helped you at least in some small way, even if this just gives you something to consider. So I will stop here. Good luck!

[bizi]

If there is health portal, on line direct email to your pdoc Then simply write an email to ask if you can be tested for this. OR call in and ask the receptionist/ nurse if the case may be. And ask If you can be tested. They will get with your pdoc and see his responce.
good luck with this. What is the treatment for Asperger?
bizi

[*Laurie*]

blue, I'm going to throw something out there. Please understand that I am doing so of out care for you, and because I really like you. I want to see you find peace.

I frequently doubt my diagnosis of BD. It happens in between cycles. Then when one of my BD symptoms strikes I say to myself, "Oh, yeah.....maybe I do have BD..." .

A hallmark BD symptom for me is when I get stuck on a thought, an idea, or the pursuit of *whatever*. The *whatever* can be anything from I must change my hair color (it becomes the focus of my life; I will over draw my bank account to get my hair done...if I cannot do it right now I feel extremely agitated, frantic, and hopeless) - to believing that someone I love is ill and I must, must find out what's wrong, then google for hour after hour to "diagnose", then google about what it means that I'm having the belief, then google to find out how I can better cope with the compulsion I'm having, but that's not precise enough, so I MUST speak with a medical professional immediately because, and, and...it just won't stop, just won't stop. Whatever the subject of my rumination is, the end result is that I feel like I'm being tortured by my own mind.

You've been having a rough go lately. The rumination you're experiencing about your diagnosis sounds like a BD "spin of the wheels". You're grinding at your mind, it seems, to have the perfect diagnosis, to feel like your diagnosis is the exact "fit". That said, I am not qualified to diagnose you (as you know). I fully support you speaking with your pdoc about the concerns you're having - and certainly, talk with a second pdoc if that's an option.
Whatever happens, however it all works out, please know that we are here for you.

[bizi]

laurie, this also sounds like OCD.
bizi

[Wonderfalls]

Are you talking about Asperger's instead or about Asperger's also?

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by bizi

laurie, this also sounds like OCD.
bizi

You are completely correct, bizi. I have had a fair degree of OCD since I was a child. There's the slightest difference that I've noticed between the compulsive obsessing and the bipolar rumination. The difference is that...blah, how do I describe it...the bipolar "spinning" has an emotionally-charged roller-coaster ride mania-up/potential crash-down whirlwind feeling to it. And it often gets "crazy"...no, I don't like that word- BUT crazy is what I feel...not sure anymore of what's real, what matters, what doesn't...I am driven. Everything is heightened; bigger than life itself: Nothing can stand in my way.

Whereas, the OCD thing has a monstrous fear attached to it...If I don't do 'this', then 'that' awful 'something' might happen...lots of connections and an absurd overload of cause and effect. What if, what if, what if.

Or something like that. There's mania and depression and anxiety all balled up in there, too.

Definitely plenty of overlap. Such fun

[bizi]

laurie, you poor thing
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[*Laurie*]

I was reading this article; it might have some value on this thread:
The Power of Rumination | Bipolar Laid Bare

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

My son is being tested for ASD this January. He doesn't have psychosis but he's probably has BP and ADHD as well. We don't know what tests will be ordered until beginning of December. You can have multiple dx's BP doesn't exclude ASD and ASD doesn't exclude BP. I have seen you here having very high anxiety un-proportionate to stimuli that may have bordered psychosis. Why don't you get your drs notes and look over exactly what they see. I don't recommend it to almost anyone but no one can provide you answers. In one color highlight thinks you think are ASD in another highlight things you don't remember and want to talk about. Do NOT get your therapy notes I'm a firm believer that those notes can only cause trouble. Then take it to T and talk about it.

Thanks for your suggestions.

I actually had a pdoc appointment yesterday afternoon and we reviewed my most recent evaluation (the results of which I got back on August 4th). He, on his own (i.e., without me telling him anything), said that he often sees people with Asperger's display the "symptoms and behaviors" similar to what I display.

Also, I think you're right that I shouldn't ask for therapy notes. I will likely get upset and frustrated by the content, even if the content is accurate. Some of my psych evaluation reports were written kind of harshly, especially my most recent one which basically implied that I am a loner because of a bunch of different offputting quirks I have and because of my alleged psychosis that "leads to unusual behavior." So of course I thought, "wow, thanks for the confidence booster."

I'll talk to my therapist about it like you said. I kinda wanted to do that anyways after my pdoc confirmed my suspicions about Asperger's. Well, he obviously didn't give me a diagnosis of that, but I think you know what I mean.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Will you feel better if someone does say you could/ have Aspergers? Will that allow you to move forward ?

Yes, it would. I don't think I'm getting the appropriate help right now for my symptoms. I know there aren't any official/approved medications for Asperger's, but I'm talking about getting help therapy wise. Basically, my therapist and I could tackle Asperger's issues (if I end up having it) in a better way. For example, I have an OCD diagnosis, but Asperger's has OCD like symptoms too, so maybe we need to treat the "OCD" differently, if that makes sense. She's currently using certain techniques that aren't working. Of course, I could always find another therapist who would help me cope with my symptoms better, but I think having a solid understanding on both my end and my therapist's end could help me cope better, if that makes sense. It's about understanding myself better.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Simply request an evaluation for any condition you suspect.
Is this possible?

It's entirely possible to have more than one diagnosis.

Pursue the evaluation so you can get to a place of inner peace.

Please stay here with us, no matter what. We care about you.


WC

I would ask for another evaluation, but I just had one. I don't know if (or think that) my insurance would cover a second one so soon. It sucks because the eval I just had last month was to primarily look for Sz and SzA. So, whether I have Asperger's or not, that testing wouldn't have caught Asperger's. I only did a bunch of psychosis testing and personality testing. All that came out of the personality testing was: (1.) Shy, (2.) social problems, (3.) introverted, and (4.) quirky.

Originally Posted by Tucson

I know you want to get the correct diagnosis and be provide with the correct treatment. Let me ask you some questions. How is your current diagnosis not working for you? How can we help you? Are you just wanting to voice your concerns? Are you expecting us to help you make a diagnosis? Sure, I will listen to you. But I myself have concerns for you.

I think you need to approach this more objectively. Self-diagnosis is IMO not a good idea. The words listed as criteria for Asperger, or any MI, that you read and think you understand, can have different significance to the trained professional. Many DX’s have overlapping symptoms. You may not be able to be entirely objective and self-aware to be in the position of attempting such a self-diagnosis. If it were this simple, then all you would need to do is take one of these tests available here at PC, letting the test determine your MI. At least this would be a more ovjective way toward a diagnosis.

Do you know what Aspergers actually is? What behavior to expect from people with such a diagnosis? How they would function in different situations? What they are and not are capable of? What life situations that they simply cannot deal with? I am simply saying that there is much more to understand here than whether you have flat affect. I talked to a trained professional about this who dealt with such a person on a daily basis. There are different behaviors to be expected that you probably would not glean through the straightforward descriptions available online. I was not able to do discern this for myself. There is much more involved than going through a checklist of symptoms.

I would be careful with your approach to this. Heck, get another opinion, even though I have no idea how this can help you. But then, I think you would be shopping for the pdoc that would give you the DX that you are specifically wanting to hear. How would this help you? But yes, they can make mistakes too.

Let me provide you with one last thought. I think the purpose of professional diagnosis and the following supportive care is to determine if there is a MI, and then one that is getting in the way for a person to function in their day-to-day life. If your life is working for you, you are not suffering, you are able to function like feed yourself and pay the bills, and may even be able to maintain a certain quality of life, then diagnosis and treatment may not be necessary for you to consider. However, if this is not the case, then I would heed the advice of your pdoc. Remember that there was a reason you went to them in the first place.

Well, this is all I will say about this matter. I hope I have helped you at least in some small way, even if this just gives you something to consider. So I will stop here. Good luck!

Thanks for your reply.

There is a disconnect between what my current diagnoses say and what I personally feel symptom wise, which means I have difficulties in finding appropriate ways for me to cope with my main symptoms. The meds I take only help me cope with anger, voices, visions, and depression, but I have more symptoms than that and I can rarely pinpoint where those remaining symptoms stem from, if that makes sense. So the main issue is me having a lack of understanding of myself. For example, consider someone with legitimate BP who is on BP meds and in therapy for symptoms but never got an official BP diagnosis and therefore doesn't know they have BP. Sure, symptoms are being treated, but the label helps you understand yourself more because now you can dig deep into books, research papers, YouTube videos, whatever, to really understand what BP is and what it means. Otherwise, you're kind of aimlessly (and frustratingly) trying to understand yourself with nothing to help direct you.

And yes, I'm aware of what Asperger's implies. I think I said in another thread (but I can't remember, so maybe I didn't) that my cousin has ASD. I've "seen it in action," or so to speak, and I can relate to a good chunk of her symptoms—although my symptoms are in no way as severe as hers. But the fact ASD runs in the family kind of makes me wonder a little more, if that makes sense. And lots of professionals are pointing out my "odd behavior" nowadays, but that "odd behavior" that they speak of doesn't align with BP behavior when I do research on it. I know there is something more to it. I'm just trying to go off family history at this point (as well as professionals pointing out my symptoms) to direct me in my research.

I would definitely love a 2nd opinion, and I'd be fine with a professional who says no to Asperger's. But I would try to push for said professional to help me figure out what's wrong if it's not Asperger's. I definitely don't want a diagnosis of Asperger's if it doesn't fit, because how useful is that diagnosis if the criteria doesn't align with my symptoms? I'd also rather be tested by a psychologist rather than a pdoc, but as I said to Wild Coyote, I doubt my insurance would cover it at this point. So testing for Asperger's is a no for now, or at least until someone fights my insurance to let them test me for it.

Anyway, my current therapist thinks that my "unusual behavior" is partly why people tend to avoid me (my behavior "can sometimes be off-putting," as she says verbatim), and as such, I need to work on coping mechanisms to help fix that. She is also concerned about my inability to emotionally and socially respond to people, as my flat affect makes them think I don't care about them or what I have to say. Plus the sensory issues.

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

blue, I'm going to throw something out there. Please understand that I am doing so of out care for you, and because I really like you. I want to see you find peace.

I frequently doubt my diagnosis of BD. It happens in between cycles. Then when one of my BD symptoms strikes I say to myself, "Oh, yeah.....maybe I do have BD..." .

A hallmark BD symptom for me is when I get stuck on a thought, an idea, or the pursuit of *whatever*. The *whatever* can be anything from I must change my hair color (it becomes the focus of my life; I will over draw my bank account to get my hair done...if I cannot do it right now I feel extremely agitated, frantic, and hopeless) - to believing that someone I love is ill and I must, must find out what's wrong, then google for hour after hour to "diagnose", then google about what it means that I'm having the belief, then google to find out how I can better cope with the compulsion I'm having, but that's not precise enough, so I MUST speak with a medical professional immediately because, and, and...it just won't stop, just won't stop. Whatever the subject of my rumination is, the end result is that I feel like I'm being tortured by my own mind.

You've been having a rough go lately. The rumination you're experiencing about your diagnosis sounds like a BD "spin of the wheels". You're grinding at your mind, it seems, to have the perfect diagnosis, to feel like your diagnosis is the exact "fit". That said, I am not qualified to diagnose you (as you know). I fully support you speaking with your pdoc about the concerns you're having - and certainly, talk with a second pdoc if that's an option.
Whatever happens, however it all works out, please know that we are here for you.

Thanks for your reply, Laurie.

I think I'm just confused with myself. And again, the fact that I feel that I have misreported symptoms is what's getting to me. Like, I tried to be perfectly honest with all professionals, but I never knew 100%, for sure, that I had any of the bipolar symptoms I reported. That uncertainty just frustrates me from time to time.

Maybe you're right that going to be back and forth is a BP symptom. I don't know. I guess you're right that I should talk to my pdoc—or at least my therapist—about my concern. I'm just afraid of asking because they may call me a liar or may be brutal like my therapist was when she said that I'm off-putting to people.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Thanks for your reply, Laurie.

I think I'm just confused with myself. And again, the fact that I feel that I have misreported symptoms is what's getting to me. Like, I tried to be perfectly honest with all professionals, but I never knew 100%, for sure, that I had any of the bipolar symptoms I reported. That uncertainty just frustrates me from time to time.

Maybe you're right that going to be back and forth is a BP symptom. I don't know. I guess you're right that I should talk to my pdoc—or at least my therapist—about my concern. I'm just afraid of asking because they may call me a liar or may be brutal like my therapist was when she said that I'm off-putting to people.

I am so sorry that your therapist said such a thoughtless thing. I understand that someone's personality can come across in writing differently than IRL. That said, you seem anything but off-putting. You seem so warm and engaging.

Oh, wow - I understand very well, your feeling of perhaps misreporting bipolar symptoms. I have exactly the same problem - I'm terribly afraid that I've done the same thing with my current pdoc. I keep going over and over my first few meetings with her, what I said, and that maybe I misreported my symptoms.

I'm thinking that if you just state your concerns to your pdoc (and/or therapist), I can't see how they'd call you a liar. I mean, you did the best you could with trying to give the correct information. It seems perfectly okay to tell them something like, "I'm feeling very concerned, because I think I might have misrepresented my symptoms" - something like that.

I truly feel for the difficulty you're going through. Please keep us posted, blue.

[Fuzzybear]

I don’t know, I have no clue .... I wish I could suggest something, they tried to plaster me with wrong labels and tell me there is no “help”

I think papa bear (my husband) may have this, but he won’t go to a doctor. I don’t blame him . He’s happy ..

[Wild Coyote]

Thinking of you, blue.

WC

[~Christina]

How are you doing ?

Originally Posted by ~Christina

How are you doing ?

Doing alright. I'm just going to ask my therapist on Wednesday to talk about the possibility of Asperger's since I'm curious. I know she won't diagnose me, because I did ask her about SzA/BP recently and she didn't want to say anything (she has a PhD and used to give out diagnoses), but I think talking to her about the ASD spectrum would be helpful.

Did the issue of higher functioning ASD or pragmatic/social language skills ever come up during your school years? Would there be any documentation somewhere with an old school social worker?

I hope it is okay to ask that, I don’t want to pry! It’s just something I’ve seen quite a bit of — kids that are clearly somewhere on the spectrum, but they are quiet, get their work done, don’t cause any problems, so no one sees a need to investigate further, bc they deem there is no educational impact. But what I’ve found is that, at least for adolescents, the social impacts can be more damning than the academic ones.

Anyway, I look forward to hearing how your conversation with her goes.

Originally Posted by IRememberMyFirstBee

Did the issue of higher functioning ASD or pragmatic/social language skills ever come up during your school years? Would there be any documentation somewhere with an old school social worker?

I hope it is okay to ask that, I don’t want to pry! It’s just something I’ve seen quite a bit of — kids that are clearly somewhere on the spectrum, but they are quiet, get their work done, don’t cause any problems, so no one sees a need to investigate further, bc they deem there is no educational impact. But what I’ve found is that, at least for adolescents, the social impacts can be more damning than the academic ones.

Anyway, I look forward to hearing how your conversation with her goes.

No worries. You're not prying.

But yes, I've always had social issues. However, I never saw a social worker during my elementary through high school years. My parents didn't--and still don't--treat people with mental illness with respect, so I never got the help I needed for any of my symptoms. They're also deniers. Plus, there was a stigma in getting help from a school counselor from my elementary years through my high school years. Everyone would accuse you of being "mentally retarded" or, at the very least, "stupid and socially inept." So while it was true that I guess I was "socially inept," I didn't want to give kids an excuse to further bully me, as kids can be downright cruel.

I didn't seek help for my mental health until May 2013, after I graduated with my bachelor's degree in engineering, but right before I started my Master's program in CS (technically "computer engineering"). The counseling center they had had diagnosed me with Depression, GAD, and OCD, as well as noted my social problems. However, I couldn't afford that evaluation OR therapy. The only reason I got the evaluation free was that the center was looking for running a study on patients with OCD, and they wanted to give an incentive for minorities like myself to participate in the OCD study. (I'm hispanic.) So they said, "Well, let's try evaluating you first because it's possible you could have OCD."

I'll keep everyone updated with what my therapist says.

[MistressStayc]

My son is diagnosed with mild/high functioning autism, basically Asperger's but that diagnosis no longer exists. They now diagnosis by mild, moderate or severe autism or social communication disorder based on the DSM-V or at least the last version I read of it. I do not know if there are any revisions to it.

I also teach students with mild-moderate autism and have for 5 years. If you have any questions feel free to pm me. I can't diagnosis you obviously but just offering and experienced point of view on things if you need.