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#1
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I guess I'm stable at this moment. I don't really feel depressed, but I'm not quite right either.
For a number of weeks, though I wasn't doing deliberate type exercise (like walking/jogging, dancing, etc.) I was quite physically active doing loads of errands, chores (including heavy cleaning/cooking/gardening). Now I'm just doing the bare minimum. I'm doing chores and cooking most days, but taking easy routes. For almost all of 2017, I was writing in my blog pretty much daily. Not journaling, but articles, stories, prose poetry, and other things. Now this year, especially lately, I post at most once per week, and it's only about my diet which hasn't been going well. I've even skipped weeks writing about that. My creativity for some things (writing especially) has dried up. I know how to cook really delicious healthful diet-friendly meals, but for some reason I don't want to or don't crave that food. I still cook, but am cooking stuff with cream or high carbs. Why don't I choose the better things? Really? I DO like the healthful stuff, too. I've had periods in recent years, even maybe a couple of months ago for a week, when I was raring to get a volunteer job or take a college or adult school course. Now I really don't want to. I'm more happy to stay at home and lounge in bed. Again, I don't feel depressed. What's up? I've pushed myself to go with hubby to the shore and to movies without complaining or trying to back out. When I'm there, I do get some pleasure out of it, but I am usually not the one to initiate such activities. Well, I did initiate one major thing. I think I did so less because I knew hubby would like it, and more because I dreaded a family get together. What is this "marginal" stability all about? Do others have this? |
#2
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I'm less driven myself. Not as active. Though I'm trying to push through. I was blaming age, but maybe it is med related.
__________________
Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. ![]() Daughter: 20 ![]() Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
![]() Anonymous46341
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#3
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Sounds to me like the beginning of a depressive episode.
For me depression creeps up slowly, over weeks, finding its way into all facets of my life (except for when I went off Lamictal last year when the depression came up in a matter of days, but that was different from my regular ups and downs). Maybe it's being caused by the transition into fall. Since you say you're stable it could just be a passing thing but maybe try to at least journal your mood every day so you can spot if a trend is happening. Maybe journal your mood in the morning, how much you slept, and then journal your mood in the evening (could be a simple one-liner something like "ok, 8 hours, feeling bad" just to keep it as easy as possible). Edit to add...maybe get your thyroid level checked to rule out the possibility that it's low thyroid which can cause depression.
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
#4
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Quote:
I will take your advice and start journaling throughout the days. My psychiatrist and therapist know that my moods have been up and down a lot for several weeks now, but I thought that things were leveling out a little bit. Maybe I'm still not done with this lability. I have also had more anxiety than usual for a couple of weeks. I can't know for sure what is causing it, but there is a strong chance it has something to do with finally quitting my 0.5 mg Ativan, with my psychiatrist's approval. I had a minor anxiety attack on Saturday, and some minor anxiety issues some days soon after stopping the Ativan. I've also had toothaches for about four days. That doesn't help. I'm certain the toothaches have to do with anxiety, too. A dental check confirmed there is nothing wrong with my teeth except clenching and grinding. My moods were going up and down prior to me going off the Ativan. I had a TSH test about five months ago and it was normal. I just looked at my script for my upcoming blood tests the week of October 7th. The script does not include any thyroid-related tests. I sort of doubt it is my thyroid. I haven't been on Lithium for maybe four years now and my thyroid tests have been consistently normal since on 150 mcg of levothyroxine (Synthroid). I will talk to my psychiatrist. He's not the one that has ordered my October blood tests. Usually my moods are pretty good in the autumn, but I guess that isn't necessarily a given. |
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