As some of you may know, I'm looking into buying a house soon (preferably by January 2019 because that's when I have to renew my lease by).

I want to buy a pet (a dog in specific) for emotional support while I'm at it. I'm not buying a house JUST to get a dog. I'm buying it for other reasons.

My apartment complex currently does not allow dogs. I know that I can get a "prescription" from my pdoc/therapist for an emotional support animal and that legally the apartment complex has to abide by my request to allow me to have an emotional support animal, but the apartment is 900 sq feet and I feel it's kinda small for a big dog (I want a golden), so I don't want to do it. It wouldn't be fair to the dog unless I got a tiny one.

My mini psychosis episodes have been progressively getting worse and worse, too. The hallucinations and paranoid delusions are becoming more common as well. However, everything is very mild in nature. I just want a dog to help comfort me and help me work through these mini episodes, as these episodes do not always coincide with mania.

Considering the dog, do you think it's a better idea to get a house or keep my apartment? My apartment rent is $1600/mo excluding utilities (but I live in a very expensive area of the country, so $1600 isn't as much as you'd think), but a montage could possibly be cheaper despite paying utilities there too (as well as tax etc), and I have the money to for a downpayment for a house. I just would have to pay like $350k for a "cheap" house far away from work. (The average house seems to be around $600-750k, btw.) Paying gas to drive a further distance to work wouldn't be a problem since I get about 65 mpg with my Prius, and the location of my work isn't in a busy area (it's kind of secluded), so traffic might not be a huge pain in the butt.

[Nammu]

Are you still looking at other areas of employment? For a while you were talking about moving across the country to seek higher payment and maybe better benefits?

Originally Posted by Nammu

Are you still looking at other areas of employment? For a while you were talking about moving across the country to seek higher payment and maybe better benefits?

Yes, I was, but then I realized that California (Silicon Valley) was ridiculous and that I had no one to support me out there if I lost a job. I'm staying here for sure. Im not going to move. Plenty of options in Boston anyways. I shouldn't have even thought about California.

[taybaby]

I don't know much about this situation other than your original post, but it sounds to me like this is something you want to do and something that will make you happy. As long as you have some nice savings in case of an emergency (hospitalization, breakdown, etc.) I think you should go for it

[Wonderfalls]

You sound like you've made your decision and just want reinforcement. If a house and a dog are important to you and within reach then you should certainly let yourself have them. Just one thing I learned--houses "eat" money. There's always something that needs doing or fixing.

[Daonnachd]

Besides the money Wonderfalls mentioned, houses also require lots of work. Think maintenance and constant upkeep.

When you write "given my mental state", I sort of wonder how bad it is and if it got worse what some of the ramifications could be. Consider the following:

You write that you want a pet (a dog) as an emotional support animal. I am the first person to say that having a pet has been very valuable for me over the years. I have loved them all, and they have all indeed given me emotional support. However, there have been times when I was so ill that I could not properly take care of them, especially my first two parrots during some periods. When I couldn't, my husband did, just like if I had had kids he would have taken care of them when I couldn't. It's not a one-way street with pets. They need basic care, too. They can also become distressed when they see their primary owner become distressed. If/when you become unable to properly care for a pet, is there someone who can help?

Very soon after marrying my husband he wanted us to move from the apartment we had to a house we would buy. I was not thrilled with the idea at first, but he was very insistent. He made great points. A house allowed greater freedom, and it was an investment. We did pick a house that was in very good shape and required next to no renovations at the time. The house we picked was also a townhouse that was part of an association. The association handled things like lawn upkeep and snow removal, garbage pickup, and house exterior upkeep. All of these things need to be added to the price of a house as monthly fees, as does homeowners insurance, and property taxes. Perhaps where you live there is no snow, but are there other issues that could increase homeowner's insurance, like the dire need for flood or earthquake insurance, etc.?

Buying a house WAS a great investment in the end for us. We were lucky that we bought at a time when I was working full-time and doing very well. That would not have been possible in recent years. We have lots of equity, however, it is getting hard for us to afford living where we do on just my husband's salary and my disability. We live in a high property tax area (outrageously high), and other expenses are high, as well. I've been on disability for a long time. Living in the US, my medical bills have been outrageous over the years because my illness was severe. It's not like living in Europe where health insurance is not a worry and people don't go bankrupt when they get severely ill.

I do not wish to discourage you from buying a house, but just wanted to mention how many factors there are to consider in this. Definitely a house that may need renovations/fixing can really add to the burden of home ownership.

[Deejay14]

Having your own home can be nice, but it is also stressful with lots of upkeep. If stress puts you over the edge that's really something to think about.Then unlike an apartment there are taxes which usually increase every year, water bill, home insurance which is far more expensive than apartment insurance, and more!

Also make sure your landlord allows an emotional support dog as opposed to a service dog. They have to allow service dogs, but are under no obligation to allow emotional support dogs. There is a world of difference between the two.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Having your own home can be nice, but it is also stressful with lots of upkeep. If stress puts you over the edge that's really something to think about.

Also make sure your landlord allows an emotional support dog as opposed to a service dog. They have to allow service dogs, but are under no obligation to allow emotional support. There is a world of difference between the two.

Whether or not emotional support animals are covered by the law, totally depends upon the laws of each state.

Blue, check your state housing laws for renting and emotional support animals.
In my state, the state laws provide for both Service Animals and for Emotional Support Animals.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

If you can afford a house, you might do well to buy one, depending upon the house. It's helpful to build equity.

As long as you can afford it and can manage to pay your bills, just as you do for your apartment and utilities, you get the added benefit of building equity.

It's a lot to think through to make the best decision for yourself.
Take your time and get lots of input.


WC

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Whether or not emotional support animals are covered by the law, totally depends upon the laws of each state.

Blue, check your state housing laws for renting and emotional support animals.
In my state, the state laws provide for both Service Animals and for Emotional Support Animals.


WC

----I just finished real estate school, have owned hoa and non hoa properties in states very expensive and very reasonable for real estate. If you are in the Boston area, thats a very high end real estate market.Having your family in that area tho is crucial for someone challenged like us.
I hope your husband actually enjoys doing maintenance if you choose a single family home. Re the dog, pets are wonderful but with a dog someone has to pick up the poops (been there). They should really be walked or the pup will have behavior problems--not so much fun if you are in Boston. I have a low maintenance cat. She knows when I need comforting but is out of the way when things are busy unlike a dog.
Equity building is important for your net worth and your retirement, but I hope your husband will handle most of the home buying process. The stress is NOT going to do you any good. Interest rates are still fairly low, but they will probably keep going up. They can get much higher. Financiers are expecting some inflation and the Fed keeps upping interest rates.
I think you should determine what is making your symptoms worse--is it the stress of deciding to rent or buy? Figure that out before you make a decision. Making such an important decision right now can put too much pressure on you. Maybe you should make a pros and cons list and quickly turn the whole issue over to your husband. I am all for women rights and participation but I understand the challenge of a complicated disorder.
PS, be sure the house is put in joint tenancy with right of survival. HUGS!!!

[Movingon69]

I think it depends. People here have made good points. I would ask the additional questions since I don't know you well.

Are you single? Are you the only income coming in?

Are you working? How stable are you in your job? How long have you been working at this job?

Do you have a signficant other? If so, can the payments be made on his/her income alone?

I know you said paying more for gas isn't a problem but what about stress of driving if you are in a congested area and down time for general QOL?

How much savings do you have for major maintenance issues if you are buying an older house since you say you are in an expensive part of the country or a loss of job from BP? Even for healthy people the recommendation is 6 months reserves.

I hope it works out for you. Owning a home does offer freedom that an apartment doesn't and it is generally a good ROI. I'm not trying to be negative just trying to help answer your question.

[pirilin]

Buy a house inside a community. Preferably new, if you can afford the commute.
That will take care of your pool, lawn, outside maintenance, security, etc.
Amongst other things a real house implies.
My house is too much for me. 4200 sq. Has 28 windows to start. I want to live in a trailer.

GOD!!!. GIMME A TRAILER!!!.

I bought a small apartment-condo 13 years ago. It's working out financially in that the mortgage will run out by the time i am 65 and lose the bulk of my income. I will have a cheap place to live. I will just have to cover condo fees and property tax. In other ways it's not so hot (repairs) but it's a good investment.

Do a thorough budget to see if it's affordable.

As for a dog, i do love mine, but a lot of the support goes from me to her. Vet bills are daunting and vets are heartless. She's sometimes a source of anxiety rather than support especially in the Spring when she dogs need meds. Dogs are dependents after all. I also got my dog for emotional support but i find more often it's me comforting her.

[luvyrself]

I so totally apologize for my mistake in just assuming you have a partner in the purchase. I was such a diehard feminist when we started breaking all those barriers. Ironically, there are some fair housing laws that prevent discrimination against a single person in the housing market. Thanks to the other posters here for adding factors that would be huge if you would be doing this solo. You can still have someone else who is knowledgeable and knows you well help you make these decisions. I recommend that not to underestimate your abilities in any way, but as a way of taking some stress off you. Yes, a condo might be the way to go if you would do this solo, but then you must do heavy research into the financial health of the hoa , their rules called cc&rs, and be prepared for increases in their fees and possible additional assessments which can run thousands of dollars.

I think if it were me, I would look for a situation where mortgage payments were cheaper then rent. I pay rent on a 2 bedroom apartment, and if I was to get behind or too many lates...I’d get evicted. Now if I was in a house, I’d have a more permanent place and not have to worry too much of finding my stuff in a dumpster. I’ve never had a house and don’t know if the banks are more forgiving as long as you make up the diff.

[Movingon69]

Originally Posted by luvyrself

I so totally apologize for my mistake in just assuming you have a partner in the purchase. I was such a diehard feminist when we started breaking all those barriers. Ironically, there are some fair housing laws that prevent discrimination against a single person in the housing market. Thanks to the other posters here for adding factors that would be huge if you would be doing this solo. You can still have someone else who is knowledgeable and knows you well help you make these decisions. I recommend that not to underestimate your abilities in any way, but as a way of taking some stress off you. Yes, a condo might be the way to go if you would do this solo, but then you must do heavy research into the financial health of the hoa , their rules called cc&rs, and be prepared for increases in their fees and possible additional assessments which can run thousands of dollars.

I apologize as well. Somehow I missed there was no partner when I asked the questoin.

Definitely check HOA rules. In some states (like Texas) they can take your home as well as a bank if you aren't follwing their rules. Also, they can be quite expensive.

[Movingon69]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I think if it were me, I would look for a situation where mortgage payments were cheaper then rent. I pay rent on a 2 bedroom apartment, and if I was to get behind or too many lates...I’d get evicted. Now if I was in a house, I’d have a more permanent place and not have to worry too much of finding my stuff in a dumpster. I’ve never had a house and don’t know if the banks are more forgiving as long as you make up the diff.

The eviction angle is a valid one. I will say that since the 09 housing crisis banks have gotten less forgiving on just about everying including taking back the house.

[Daonnachd]

Be certain you can cover things even if in an episode. My wife and I bought a house, but when I got bad (hospitalised) we fell behind on our payments and ultimately lost the house.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Be certain you can cover things even if in an episode. My wife and I bought a house, but when I got bad (hospitalised) we fell behind on our payments and ultimately lost the house.

Same goes for if you become disabled. I struggled to make the mortgage payments after I went on SSDI and eventually realized I just couldn't afford it, much less a major repair or something. It was forcing me to always be putting just a bit more on credit and then that added up. So I sold and moved in next door to my mom, in a small house she owns, so my rent is affordable and I'm not responsible for surprise expenses.

[Row Jimmy]

I think it's a combination of a lifestyle and a financial decision. If you have a downpayment ready, it might make sense to purchase a home, especially if you want a golden (which will probably destroy an apartment). As for cost and your goals, it looks like you'll pay a bit more for a home ($2,000 per month vs. $1,600 per month) compared to renting so cost doesn't look like a concern to me.

At the same time, are you mentally ready for all the work that accompanies a house? There's the lawn, the gutters, the painting, the maintenance, etc. There's always something to do with a home. With an apartment, you're free to spend that time doing something else. Sometimes, having the freedom to do what you want when you want is worth it's weight in gold.

Buying a home it a tradeoff. Your dog will have some space, you'll get some solitude if you move to the "country", you'll have something you call your own, and you'll build some long term equity but your commute will be longer and you'll have all the headaches that accompany a home. And, apart from the work in a home, you'll also inherit all the costs, especially the commuting cost. Ask yourself - what are your triggers? For me, traffic is a major trigger. Also, while I like accomplishing things, I like my free time as well.

Good luck, it is a big decision. I've done it 3x but I'm coming to a point at which my age and my attitude and driving me to apartment living.

[Pookyl]

We made the decision to downsize from a large house to an apartment a year ago. I had to give away my cat as it used to running around in a yard vs a balcony.
Despite having no pet the small apartment is a better fit for me and my Bipolar.

[Nola0250]

If you’ve run the numbers and it works, get the house! It’s what you want. You will be happy knowing you’re in your own home, where you can have a dog if you want to.