I'm at a point where I feel so alone. I had my heart set on this one job didn't get it, and I'm just lost. Idk what to do, I don't feel like I have the support I need. I was depressed yesterday and manic today and I literally just don't know. My emotions are all over the place and my mind is racing. Mentally I can't stay still. I just need the assurance that everything is going to work out. Idk

[TheSeaCat]

Hello, my fired therapist had good advice on when to go inpatient and when to call the pdoc and address issues. Are you suicidal? Homocidal? Seeing things that just aren’t there? Her advice was if you have any of those to go seek hospital treatment if not call the doctor immediately. I hope I could be of some help and I’m sorry that you are suffering.

[Blueberrybook]

I have felt that way too. The only things that stopped me were my husband and my daughter. Especially my daughter (10.5 yr. old). I was so, so close to going right when the CPS starting investigating me around Labor Day. If fact, I probably should have gone from such severe anxiety, panic attacks lasting for hours, feeling I was worthless and just taking up space on this planet, thinking my daughter would be better off with a mom not like me with all these mental issues, some of which H finally agrees I have, most especially the bipolar. I should have gone in then. I didn't, but I had a pdoc appt. scheduled I think the day after Labor Day in the morning, and he asked me how I felt about going to the hospital then, and I said I thought I was OK. The thing is when I got that bad, H makes sure I sleep and sleep and sleep because he knows that brings me down to at least a more hypomanic state which is much less severe. He tells me to take the full dose of sleep meds, especially when I was on trazodone & hydroxyzine. I could handle a LOT of trazodone, and it is a hard drug to OD on. I once was taking nearly 800 mg daily, and I had a lot left over because I hated the hungover feeling it gave me. I have the racing thoughts too (am mixed right now, which really sucks). Those thoughts make me so forgetful.

Without H & my daughter though, I would have checked myself in to the hospital. If you think you need IP, you probably do.

I'd like to type more, but I have to make dinner. Can you get an urgent appt. with your pdoc or therapist (if you have one) tomorrow? Call and see and emphasize at to the front desk. Keep calling and bug them all day. Leave a zillion voicemails if you have to.

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hello, my fired therapist had good advice on when to go inpatient and when to call the pdoc and address issues. Are you suicidal? Homocidal? Seeing things that just aren’t there? Her advice was if you have any of those to go seek hospital treatment if not call the doctor immediately. I hope I could be of some help and I’m sorry that you are suffering.

Hi no I'm not any of the above just not in a good place.

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I have felt that way too. The only things that stopped me were my husband and my daughter. Especially my daughter (10.5 yr. old). I was so, so close to going right when the CPS starting investigating me around Labor Day. If fact, I probably should have gone from such severe anxiety, panic attacks lasting for hours, feeling I was worthless and just taking up space on this planet, thinking my daughter would be better off with a mom not like me with all these mental issues, some of which H finally agrees I have, most especially the bipolar. I should have gone in then. I didn't, but I had a pdoc appt. scheduled I think the day after Labor Day in the morning, and he asked me how I felt about going to the hospital then, and I said I thought I was OK. The thing is when I got that bad, H makes sure I sleep and sleep and sleep because he knows that brings me down to at least a more hypomanic state which is much less severe. He tells me to take the full dose of sleep meds, especially when I was on trazodone & hydroxyzine. I could handle a LOT of trazodone, and it is a hard drug to OD on. I once was taking nearly 800 mg daily, and I had a lot left over because I hated the hungover feeling it gave me. I have the racing thoughts too (am mixed right now, which really sucks). Those thoughts make me so forgetful.

Without H & my daughter though, I would have checked myself in to the hospital. If you think you need IP, you probably do.

I'd like to type more, but I have to make dinner. Can you get an urgent appt. with your pdoc or therapist (if you have one) tomorrow? Call and see and emphasize at to the front desk. Keep calling and bug them all day. Leave a zillion voicemails if you have to.

Thank you so much for the response. I've been stressed out about finding a job and when I didn't get the one I really wanted it was my triggers. I have two little boys and I don't want to leave them but I feel worthless and alone. I'm not sucidial or homicidal just need to get a break from being in my head. I feel worthless and why can't I find a job? I don't do well being at home it doesn't do good with my routine. Idk now I'm rambling lol thanks again for your support

[Movingon69]

I wondered if I should go yesterday. I was all over the place, been having mixed state last few days. I've been incredibly social one minute and thinking of suicide the next. I hope today is better.

What kind of work do you do?

Originally Posted by Movingon69

I wondered if I should go yesterday. I was all over the place, been having mixed state last few days. I've been incredibly social one minute and thinking of suicide the next. I hope today is better.

What kind of work do you do?

I'm in digital marketing and advertising where I have to be social and outgoing. I usually stay in the house on the weekends to recover from the energy of appearing ok lol

[Movingon69]

Originally Posted by Bipolar 18630

I'm in digital marketing and advertising where I have to be social and outgoing. I usually stay in the house on the weekends to recover from the energy of appearing ok lol

I'm in a position where I hear about jobs in the area. If I hear of something I will let you know.