Bipolar Questions Version 4

fruit saladd for breakfast.

nice and healthy....

question: does your username have some meaning behind it?, or is it just something you came up with on the spot

My name is Regina and I had someone switch around my name like that and thought it was funny.

Do you have a pattern when it comes to your mood shifts? I.e. winter = depression, spring = mania

not that I've noticed

are your (hypo)manic episodes typically euphoric or dysphoric?

Spring is usually an upswing to full mania, depending, but it's at least an upswing. That can start as early as late February, but usually starts in April or May. I see a bit of it already. Summers are actually not always great for me. I usually have a downswing after the spring upswing. Sometimes its mixed. Sometimes I get my mood under control. Fall can be quite nice. I am usually pretty stable in the Fall. Winter is usually a little ho hum or just a teeny bit below baseline.

Q: How well do you do when you're more on your own? Do you thrive on your own? Or do you do much better with people around?

I prefer being alone, and tend to avoid people unless I have to be around someone for one reason or another

probably the main reason why I'm not in a relationship. I don't like being near people

my own company is perfect

favorite type of chocolate

Dark. I love dark chocolate with bits of candied orange peel throughout.

Are you an early bird or a late owl?

Well, my chronic insomnia makes me both, but given the choice, I'm an early to bed early to rise kinda girl.

I always preferred the term manic-depressive over bipolar, what are your thoughts?

Me too. Partly because my parents and relatives are European immigrants. The term ‘bipolar ‘ means nothing to them but they understand the term ‘manic depressive ‘

Do you worry when you feel well about how long it’s going to last?

Not usually, but I can't say I don't have fears about taking on big responsibilities only just to fail because of an episode or series of them. It's sort of different right now because I still have the safety of disability.

Q: Do you have any "next steps" in mind for anything positive or forward thinking? Or to give yourself a break/ease stress?

the only thing I can think of is my funeral/ final arangements.

it was all sorted a couple weeks ago officially, so now I don't need to worry or stress over it

question:

if you could relive any age of your life (or any experience), what would it be?

I would want to go back in time 5 months ago with the knowledge I have now. I would want to see the warning signs before my episode and get help for myself before it spiraled out of control. My husband and I have a safe word phrase he is supposed to say to me if I ever seem manic. My hope would be that he could say it to me and then I'd check myself into the hospital.

What is your greatest success?

Graduating college and buying my house

How long have you been seeing your pdoc and/or T?

I've been seeing a Psychiatrist for 10 years my current Psychiatrist I've been seeing for 2 years. I've seen 27 Psychiatrists as they are all locums. I've been seeing my Therapist for 8 months.

Question: Are you more manic or depressed in nature?

Throughout my life, the manic side of my illness clearly dominated. I never considered myself a depressed kind of person. That's not to say I didn't have pure depressions, but they seemed more like mental "flus" in my mind, with the exception of an extremely bad depression that followed about four years of frequent severe manias. Total crash!

My episodes on the manic side (often only reaching hypomanias) were significantly longer lasting than most of my depressions. Later in my life, and a few times in my youth, mixed episodes were common, but usually leaning more on the hypomanic/manic side than depressed. My worst episodes were full manias with mixed features, sometimes with severe psychosis.

Q: Did you likely live with bipolar disorder, initially, where you lacked insight to it?

I think so, yes

I always knew something was wrong

any plans for summer?

No plans

Is your current diagnosis the same as your initial diagnosis?

No I originally was diagnosed as clinically depressed

Question: How are you spending Easter Sunday? Is it a holiday on Easter Monday for you?

Nothing special, I went for a walk and baked cookies and now watching Django.

do the seasons usually bring about mood shifts for you? how so?

Not any longer. I used to get easily manic in spring and summer, and extremely depressed and sleep lots in the winter. But for the last several years it's depression, insomnia, anxiety and the occasional mixed state all year round.

Do you hold onto several sizes of clothing to match your fluctuating weight?

Yes, I'm currently hanging on to pants I "grew" out of in hopes that I will be able to fit into them again some day.

Do you spring clean your home?

My whole home? No, but I always try to super clean/organize some particular parts. Last month we cleaned, reorganized, and replaced the flooring in our laundry room. Earlier this month, my husband and I cleaned out some old stuff in our pantry and I cleaned all shelves and put new contact paper on them. It's my plan to do the same for all of the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen.

Q: What was your last hypomanic/manic inspired project? How did it turn out?

My last hypomanic project was planning a move, the search for the geographical cure. This is my most common hypomanic thing...I've seen the movie so many times now that I can come to my senses and stop planning within a day.

Have you ever made a doctor's appointment to have your meds tweaked or changed because your depression was getting so bad, only to flip into mania or hypomania on the day of the appoinment?

No. That sounds like interesting timing though. I've only had a handful of appointments and my meds have been tweaked every time so far. Luckily it has always been to reduce what I'm taking. I don't like ingesting chemicals, but I really don't like myself in mixed mania mode.

What is the last movie you watched?

I can't say I have had an experience like that no.

Q: When was your last manic episode?

Last summer but it was really fast because I caught it quickly and was able to get my pdoc to agree to a pulse of higher clozapine and it was done in less than a week.

Do you have trouble with your pharmacy making errors with your meds?