pdoc appt.

Filled in consent slip for my T to get records from my pdoc. Usually I wait longer, but I feel better about this T than all past T's because she is actually doing things to make me feel I am making progress in therapy (a first for me).

Pdoc appt. today went OK. I'd gained 3 lb. according to his scale, so I wasn't faced with having to take Remeron or go to the hospital (relief!) I told him about my sleep difficulties but the trazodone 50 mg being too much for me to wake up reliably in the morning, and I have to wake up on time as I am the one who gets my family up in time in the morning. He told me to cut the trazodone in half, take 25 mg and see how it goes, and if that does not work to call him back. Also to take the night meds an hour earlier as the trazodone takes an hour or just over to kick in for me. He did not address the area of my depression yet as first, he felt it could be caused by lack of reliable sleep (though usually lack of sleep equals going towards hypomania for me, but it can be a sign of depression too, so it can happen, and second, he never makes more than one med change at time, so he knows what a given med may be doing.

Pdoc told me the old pdoc may let me have a short appt. with her to thank her, say good-bye, as long as it didn't require her to do psychiatric or med stuff. He thought she would but the staff was less convinced, saying I've technically transferred my care to my new pdoc. I told them it was more of a closure thing as I had seen her over 10 years, not that I wanted her to do psych stuff for me. She is out of town this week, but the staff said they would leave a message to ask her & see & then call me and let me know. I know she calls in for messages daily though this one isn't urgent and the staff may not give it to her until she returns. They said she has cut down her hours a lot but will still be there (less & less) part-time through Feb. or March 2019. So we'll see. I think if she has time (because of the cut hours and still seeing patients acitively) and if she feels it will not cross ethical medical lines, she'll do it, but it's hard to know. If not, I am just going to have the staff or new pdoc (probably new pdoc as he is more receptive to getting closure with her than the stafff seems to be) pass along a card to her, but I'd rather have an in-person good-bye, thanks, etc. for a bit of closure, having missed my last appt. with her due to being in the hospital for the ulcer stuff, so I'd thought I would have an appt. to do that stuff.

Afterwards, I stopped at the Goodwill store (on the way home), found a dress on clearance for $4 which I feel will be long enough & fit my daughter, a tank top on clearance for $1 for me, and a pair of $6 jeans (which I am in need of, I have 2 pairs but the 2nd is really bad and has a couple holes in the rear end area). Since the dress wasn't very expensive, so I always can pass it on to my nieces if it is not long enough or doesn't fit my daughter. I figured it was worth a try. I think they put a kids' size 16 or juniors 00 with the adult dresses (no size tag except small put on the label by Goodwill in the adult dress section). It isn't very low cut, and trying on clothes, too small for me because of my breasts (even though I am very small up there for an adult, so demoralizing Victoria's Secret does not stock my size online and I can only order it in some styles online). Hope the dress fits my daughter. She is heading into juniors what with most kids' clothes often not considering some girls develop faster than others at this age.

Had a good morning in the car with my daughter despite running late (can see the daily thread). That felt so good.

Glad your appointment went well. I hope cutting the trazodone in half helps. I hope you get to say good bye in person to your old pdoc as well. I’ve seen mine for 15-18 years now and would want to say goodbye in person.