Further and further down the rabbit hole

My depression keeps on getting worse. I also just got out of the hospital for a serious drug overdose and soon after my cat died, which is further adding to it.

My therapist, who I normally see every week, is on medical leave for two weeks, so I don't really have anyone to talk to and am trying not to panic about him being gone.

Any tips for not falling further down?

I'm on lamictal, haldol, gabapentin, wellbutrin, and diazepam, if that helps any.

I'm thinking about asking to go on my old antidepressant, but that was such a nightmare to get off of I don't know. It was cymbalta.

Oh, and I'm on remeron. I keep blocking that one out because I hate it.

I am sorry you are feeling so terrible. And that is so sad about your cat.

For me personally, keeping a little bit of a schedule helps, such as making sure I eat meals, shower, sleep, work or do an activity.

Also, it is very tempting but I find not socially isolating helps. Isolation can cause me to spiral. If you are lacking a support network it might still be helpful to get out and volunteer or something to put you in contact with people. Or even an in person support group? I also wonder if you might benefit from being around animals since you lost yours, perhaps volunteering at a shelter? Or would it too hard emotionally?

If you get seasonal depression, maybe see if you can prevent that with a light therapy lamp after discussing with your doctor (think this can give some people hypo/mania). Or some walks outside?

Self compassion during these times is important. Try doing things that make you feel good--treat yourself a little. You deserve it. Self compassion meditation helps me sometimes.

Okay, this is a lot of rambling, and you probably know a lot of these things haha. I really hope this doesn't last long for you. Also, is there something about the remeron that you don't like?

Hang in there.

I agree with yellow. Be nice to yourself. Can you get another kitty? That would cheer me up.

Go to animal shelter. Soak up the warm fuzziness and adopt one if you feel you are ready. There is just no substitute for kitty love—easy care, easy love!

Thank you, yellow.

I do have a strong support network. Too strong actually. I wish they'd leave me alone!

We're getting a new cat on Tuesday. It feels too soon for me, but our other cat really needs a new friend. She's been so annoying.

I hate remeron because it increases my appetite.

I can't do light therapy lamps unfortunately. I had my first psychotic break after using one last time.

Oh, I was planning on volunteering at an animal shelter, but now I don't know if I'm going to because I don't want to make any commitments right now. Most days I have trouble even showering.

Maybe I should anyway though.

You have been through a lot but ....... it doesn’t mean you can’t make an effort to improve your mood/situation etc.

Coping skills ... yes they are needed especially with what you did.

Set yourself on a strict schedule , get outside, cook and clean

Basically do EVERYTHING you don’t want to do. “ I want to nap “ NO ! go clean the bathroom etc etc etc

Yes sometimes we have no way to stop our Bipolar but we often can help tremendously just applying coping skills we learn and often forget to use them.

Kick claw and fight your way back to finding stability

Bipolar doesn’t have to win.

Ps get a cat and volunteer .... help Yourself get better