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#1
Oct 20, 2018, 01:04 PM
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Every time I think things are going well I almost drop the ball. Three weeks on and then the rest of the year off. I don't know how I'm supposed to live life and accomplish things like this. It gets in the way of everything I do, even what I love. I just want to kill myself. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore.
Last edited by atisketatasket; Oct 20, 2018 at 02:44 PM. Reason: Added trigger icon |
 Anonymous45023, BipolaRNurse, Blueberrybook, Goals2017, raspberrytorte, rwwff, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#2
Oct 20, 2018, 01:14 PM
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(((((clyde)))))
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| clydeblack, Sunflower123
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#3
Oct 20, 2018, 02:41 PM
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Quote:
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| Sunflower123
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#4
Oct 20, 2018, 03:42 PM
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I’m sorry you are having a difficult time. Please keep posting if it helps.
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#5
Oct 20, 2018, 03:56 PM
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I still struggle with the fact that ill always have this illness. Be kind to yourself.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
| Sunflower123
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#6
Oct 20, 2018, 05:14 PM
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I am sorry things are so hard for you
Stay safe.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
| Sunflower123
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#7
Oct 20, 2018, 06:37 PM
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Bipolar cycles , that’s the one consistent thing it does it will shoot you out the other side. Just ride the waves and float when you just can’t take anymore , float
Please go to the er if you need it 
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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 Guiness187055, Wild Coyote
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#8
Oct 20, 2018, 07:10 PM
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Thanks guys. My medication really milds my highs. So, most of my life I'm just depressed.
Every semester this happens. I just cut myself again. I have a bottle of klonopin, valium and atarax with me. I need to finish my work but that's just in my mind so much. I'm trying to stay away from them. |
| Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#9
Oct 20, 2018, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
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| clydeblack
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#10
Oct 21, 2018, 09:26 AM
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Do you have anyone who could hold your meds for you?
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| clydeblack
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#11
Oct 21, 2018, 09:42 AM
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Thinking of you. How are you doing today, clyde?
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| clydeblack
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| clydeblack
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#12
Oct 21, 2018, 08:44 PM
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Quote:
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| Anonymous45023, Sunflower123
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| Sunflower123
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#13
Oct 21, 2018, 08:45 PM
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Quote:
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#14
Oct 21, 2018, 08:48 PM
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Quote:
 I just feel lost, so a lot of times I wonder what's the point. I can't believe what triggered this was an essay. I'm so afraid I won't be able to keep doing the things I like. This happens every time.My bf committed suicide, and sometimes I just want to join him. |
| Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#15
Oct 21, 2018, 08:51 PM
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Update: I'm still around. Just got back from a doing a photoshoot for one of my projects.
Now I'm feeling like I can't do enough. I hurt myself but not as bad as I would have liked to. It makes me feel like I've failed. I'm so tired. I need a break, but we don't get one until Christmas. And then when I go back home the environment is always so chaotic and stressful. I just don't know where to feel safe anymore. Thanks everyone for your concern. |
| Anonymous45023, Sunflower123
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#16
Oct 22, 2018, 09:22 AM
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(((((clyde)))))
I'm glad you're here
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| clydeblack
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| clydeblack
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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