[Aviza]

I just can't shake the feeling. I married wrong men never met the right one. Didn't say yes to opportunities that would have brought me wealth. My mess in which I live is all my fault and I don't think I'll ever be right.

I believe in God, in miracles. But some things can't be fixed. I've lost so much, I've done so many things wrong. I just don't think I'll ever be right. I used to think as long as I was alive there was hope, but that's not really true. I can't have kids forever. Dr says I shouldn't have more, too high risk. That's just one thing I'm aware of. I'm sure there are more. It's making me feel hopeless.

[raspberrytorte]

I feel like I've ruined my life too. Too many stupid decisions. I just keep on ****ing up. You're not alone. Big hugs.

[Wild Coyote]

Both me and my H deal with BP2. We have each made mistakes, esp. when hypo or severely depressed. We hustle most of the time, trying to make up for those mistakes. It does often seem hopeless, esp since we are older now and have less time to make up for said mistakes.

All we can do is to keep trying. I do understand feeling buried by mistakes and feeling hopeless while trying to dig my way out.

You are definitely not alone.


WC

I was finally diagnosed with BP2 (at age 54!) and do think I have had some of the traits all of my life. Like many of us with BP, many stupid mistakes and missed opportunities. I think the BP2 was missed because my parents, husband and the military provided me support in many areas (for example--they supplemented my income) and I kept the crazy ruminations and some of the crazy decisions a secret. I worry that my children have not gotten enough support because of my mental illness and am trying to make up for past mistakes. Overall, I had a good life but I worry I ruined my children's lives and can't go back and do it all over again.