That time of year, the FALL-ing away

SorryShaped · Oct 27, 2018 at 06:27 PM

I'm crashing, in slow motion, and I'm so exhausted almost all the time I don't really care. This happens every Fall. My anxiety level is maxed all the time and nobody understands that I'm not going to get it together for a while. They blame me. So do I. This all feeds the depression that makes me give up on EVERYTHING. I see both my psych team Tuesday. I'm so tired that I didn't care if I kissed or had sex for a week. Mega dosing caffeine to probably dangerous levels helps me do the minor things, but that's bad for anxiety and really bad for my insides and even effects my vision a little. So here I am again, alone, coping with feeling like crap, and not really hoping for better, or worse, or anything at all. There's parties I'm invited to, but not going. I'm just over it all tonight.

Wild Coyote · Oct 27, 2018 at 07:03 PM

I generally take a marked dive in the Fall. So does my husband. It's quite a balancing act for us to get through it together!

I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. I hope you get some relief soon!

WC

Oct 27, 2018 at 07:03 PM

I'm sorry that people don't understand what low energy and other symptoms of depression are all about. I do. I guess it's hard to explain to some, but if people very close to you don't, it's time they get educated. Can you bring any significant person that doesn't with you to your appointment? If it is a boss, and they're judging your performance, maybe a note from a doctor would help. They need not indicate your illness. They can think it's something else. Mono, chronic fatigue syndrome, whatever.

I hope your doctor can perhaps adjust your treatment to bring some energy back. In my experience, that has sometimes meant the addition of an activating medication, sometimes the reduction of a sedating one, sometimes a satisfying break/vacation, and/or a new therapy approach. Maybe also ask if other factors may be contributing, like thyroid, lack of daily light, vitamin deficiency, etc.

downandlonely · Oct 27, 2018 at 07:08 PM

I was really depressed one winter. They did blood tests and found out I was Vitamin D deficient (not surprising because I never go outside). I was also a little low on iron, so now I take supplements for both. If you haven't had bloodwork done in a while, it might be a good idea to do it.

SorryShaped · Oct 27, 2018 at 08:06 PM

Had blood tested early this month. I'm always a little iron deficient but never enough to take iron supplements. Nothing was abnormal. I started taking extra D yesterday of my own choice, trying anything. Going to workout tomorrow regardless of how I feel and haven't stopped that at all. I'm going back to bed now.

Oct 28, 2018 at 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I'm crashing, in slow motion, and I'm so exhausted almost all the time I don't really care. This happens every Fall. My anxiety level is maxed all the time and nobody understands that I'm not going to get it together for a while. They blame me. So do I. This all feeds the depression that makes me give up on EVERYTHING. I see both my psych team Tuesday. I'm so tired that I didn't care if I kissed or had sex for a week. Mega dosing caffeine to probably dangerous levels helps me do the minor things, but that's bad for anxiety and really bad for my insides and even effects my vision a little. So here I am again, alone, coping with feeling like crap, and not really hoping for better, or worse, or anything at all. There's parties I'm invited to, but not going. I'm just over it all tonight.

I hope you start feeling better.
I'm the oppositte, my mood goes up in the autumn/ winter, but I wanted to give you my support

Travelinglady · Oct 28, 2018 at 09:07 AM

Fall is bad for me, too. I also think you need to consult your doctor instead of accepting it as a given. Okay? Please?

Oct 28, 2018 at 09:08 AM

Fall is bad for me too. I feel trapped by the winter and everyone just annoys me with their attitude.

raspberrytorte · Oct 28, 2018 at 11:46 AM

This fall has been bad for me too, and the cloudy and gloomy and rainy weather isn't helping. My anxiety is at an all time high too. No words of wisdom. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

SorryShaped · Oct 29, 2018 at 02:52 PM

I get a few moments of good, which I cling to as if they're my lifelines, then moments later I can't remember what was so good about them anyway. I'm going to try something that a lot of people would call really stupid tonight if the opportunity is there, but it's also the one thing I can't get out of my head... Someone I've been crushing on for a long time dropped a few hints within the past week. If she's around I'm going to put myself out there, yet again, and see what happens. The worst could happen is I'll get letdown, but when you're near bottom, down isn't that much further. I'm going to the gym in any way. I need exercise. It's almost time to go now.

SorryShaped · Oct 30, 2018 at 02:48 PM

Doc adjusted my meds. We'll see what happens

Moose72 · Oct 30, 2018 at 04:39 PM

Most of my hospitalizations have been this time of year.

SorryShaped · Oct 30, 2018 at 05:53 PM

I've usually needed hospital this time of year, whether or not I've been. I don't feel like I do need right now, and I'm hoping the med changes will help. Last year, I went homeless in December, which I probably needed hospitalization then, too. It was 7 degrees Fahrenheit out and I was sleeping in my truck. I was hospitalized for two weeks in winter 2016. It goes on and on. I usually feel BAD from about late October through February. Gonna shower and go out for a while now. I've kinda been invited over somewhere and I want to go but I don't feel like going. I really want to climb under my covers and sleep until the sun's out again. It's almost dark and not even 7 yet.

xRavenx · Oct 30, 2018 at 09:36 PM

Some of my worst episodes were during the Fall too. When it hits, it hits really hard and feels like there's no way out. My meds always have to be adjusted during this time.

It's good that your doctor adjusted your medication. At times like this, the sooner the adjustment, the better, so you are off to a positive start (even though it often feels like an episode is never going to end). I hope you find some relief soon enough.

SorryShaped · Oct 31, 2018 at 07:21 AM

I didn't go out or shower. I made food and climbed back under the covers and had a lot of nightmares all night. At least the sun is up now. I guess I'll start a day.

Faltering · Oct 31, 2018 at 10:38 AM

I was hospitalized the past two Halloweens. I'm not in the hospital now, but I'm struggling with an episode. There's something about this time of year.

liveforsummer · Oct 31, 2018 at 11:12 AM

I’ve had more SI and SH thoughts. I honestly didn’t relate it to fall but now I wonder. I don’t like the feeling of winter, snow and cold coming and being trapped indoors and the stressor of Christmas looming.

Hugs to everyone struggling

SorryShaped · Oct 31, 2018 at 12:01 PM

I don't buy a single Christmas gift. I refuse to. It's all just perpetuating the gimme attitude in people, and that is very unhealthy. We should really consider why the Christians choose to celebrate something on a day that would be one of the most violent holidays of the year. I'm debating on staying home for Christmas anyway. Sleep in, watch crap I like, and drink coffee.
But, today is Halloween, and there's yoga later. Maybe I'll get elliptical time too. I've been promised sex later but dunno if I want to. I don't love her and don't see a future with her. She knows this.
Not nearly as sleepy today after meds were changed as of last night.

~Christina · Oct 31, 2018 at 01:43 PM

Violent holiday ?

SorryShaped · Oct 31, 2018 at 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Violent holiday ?

Very toned down for truTV, even, but close enough.

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That time of year, the FALL-ing away

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Wild Coyote Legendary Community Liaison Member Since Jun 2016 Location: USA Posts: 12,735 (SuperPoster!) 8 70.9k hugs given	Oct 27, 2018 at 07:03 PM #2 I generally take a marked dive in the Fall. So does my husband. It's quite a balancing act for us to get through it together! I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. I hope you get some relief soon! WC __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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downandlonely Legendary Member Since Mar 2018 Location: United States Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.6k hugs given	Oct 27, 2018 at 07:08 PM #4 I was really depressed one winter. They did blood tests and found out I was Vitamin D deficient (not surprising because I never go outside). I was also a little low on iron, so now I take supplements for both. If you haven't had bloodwork done in a while, it might be a good idea to do it.
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SorryShaped Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Kentucky Posts: 3,273 7	Oct 27, 2018 at 08:06 PM #5 Had blood tested early this month. I'm always a little iron deficient but never enough to take iron supplements. Nothing was abnormal. I started taking extra D yesterday of my own choice, trying anything. Going to workout tomorrow regardless of how I feel and haven't stopped that at all. I'm going back to bed now.
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 49,204 (SuperPoster!) 14 23.3k hugs given	Oct 28, 2018 at 09:07 AM #7 Fall is bad for me, too. I also think you need to consult your doctor instead of accepting it as a given. Okay? Please?
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Anonymous45521 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 28, 2018 at 09:08 AM #8 Fall is bad for me too. I feel trapped by the winter and everyone just annoys me with their attitude.
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SorryShaped Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Kentucky Posts: 3,273 7	Oct 30, 2018 at 02:48 PM #11 Doc adjusted my meds. We'll see what happens
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SorryShaped Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Kentucky Posts: 3,273 7	Oct 31, 2018 at 07:21 AM #15 I didn't go out or shower. I made food and climbed back under the covers and had a lot of nightmares all night. At least the sun is up now. I guess I'll start a day.
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Faltering Veteran Member Member Since Oct 2016 Location: USA Posts: 577 8 185 hugs given	Oct 31, 2018 at 10:38 AM #16 I was hospitalized the past two Halloweens. I'm not in the hospital now, but I'm struggling with an episode. There's something about this time of year. __________________ Bipolar 1 Latuda 120 mg Adderall 40 mg
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liveforsummer Grand Poohbah Member Since Jun 2017 Location: Home Posts: 1,642 7 5,137 hugs given	Oct 31, 2018 at 11:12 AM #17 I’ve had more SI and SH thoughts. I honestly didn’t relate it to fall but now I wonder. I don’t like the feeling of winter, snow and cold coming and being trapped indoors and the stressor of Christmas looming. Hugs to everyone struggling
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~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 13 12.7k hugs given	Oct 31, 2018 at 01:43 PM #19 Violent holiday ? __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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