[CrT0811]

The questions thread I started disappeared. I thought I had followed the guidelines about research but I get why those behind the curtain are protective of the members and I understand so, no worries as a good friend from Oz says.

So, this one is just generic. Not for an information grab. I really do want to one day make a difference for myself and everyone else with personality styled disorders. Each time I return to the doc shop it seems I get another streamer tied to my yard arm of diagnoses...lol. I’m beginning to think I’ve become somewhat of a zoological experiment. “Come see the old lady who keeps refusing medication suggestions! Let’s tack another one on and see if she breaks and accepts the scripts.”

Sooo...doc believes I am on the very high end of functional autism spectrum...she wants to consult with a colleague before finalizing that one. I used to get calls from my Kiddos who both watched “The Big Bang” ((the hubs and I now enjoy it in the rare event we turn on the television and it’s on somewhere)). Anyway; one of them would call or text about something the Sheldon character did or said and remark how the writers must be bugging our house. I had no idea what that show was about until we saw it listed last year and decided to watch it. It didn’t take long to see why the kids were so convinced our house was wired by someone working for those guys. It was nice to see a lot of myself reflected from a fairly well written and researched sitcom. At least most of the scientific banter got pretty close to accurate. I mentioned that to my son and his remark was, “of course that’s what you noticed first”. Smart *$$ kid.

Now, it seems, the docs are casting lots to see what else they can find.
Yippee.

As I’ve mentioned, it’s taken nearly half a century for me to get myself to a point I was even willing to go into a psychiatrist’s office. I was reared by a narcissistic, paranoid who has three degrees in psychology and psychotherapy. By the time I was ten, I’d been given just about every test they had at the time including the Stanford Binet, the Wexler and the Minnesota Multiphasic. Then came the more psychosis geared tests...I was my father’s physically and emotionally abused Rhesus monkey and I had pretty much had enough and began to just mess with the testers he dragged me to, out of sheer exhaustion and boredom.

I have a high IQ. Big deal. I’m also dyslexic and have a severe phobia of people I don’t know. So, that kind of throws the old, “my kid’s a genius” banner right out the window...next best thing...break her so I’m not a failure at getting the full potential out of my potentially famous kid. Pops was a big fan of Skinner’s behavior modification techniques. I wonder if anyone realized that man was a sadistic ($$$), too?

OK...lots of venting to say this...I am here to learn. I am here to help. I am here to commune with others who have walked through all the levels of Dante’s hell before I turned thirty-five. I am not here to use, coerce or otherwise hurt or take advantage of anyone. I have issues...everyone here has issues. Some of us are just much older and possibly wise enough to help, understand , empathize and help while at the same time, gain a better handle on their own neuroses. That’s it. No hidden agendas or manefestos. I have a background in all types of scientific research, all things Reiki and a great deal of experience in acupressure, quantum touch and meridians (body energy pathways). I’m not anything other than an inquisitive student of the big and the small ways everything works.

So...let’s talk. If you feel like I could help you, I’m here. If you think you could help me, I’m attentive and appreciative. Alrighty, I think I’m finished and will step off my soap box now. I hope everyone has an amazing rest of the week!

[Sunflower123]

I may take you up on that . You have the most interesting posts! So Sheldon huh? He’s my favorite character on my favorite sitcom. Glad to have you aboard.

[CrT0811]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I may take you up on that . You have the most interesting posts! So Sheldon huh? He’s my favorite character on my favorite sitcom. Glad to have you aboard.

Thanks, Jenifer. If the numerical moniker in your handle is your birth year, I’m not that much older than you are so, I’m sure we share some of the same fonder memories of growing up as “free range” children. Lol.

If you have questions regarding the metaphysical, Eastern centered whole body healing or just want to bounce around theories on the quantum worlds, astrophysics or microbiology, shoot ‘em at me. I will attempt to answer with the best of my ability. If I don’t know the answer, I’ll readily admit it and maybe we can find it with due diligence and research. I can also relate to the ((Been There, Done That)) aspect of how NOT to deal with your own psychosis by yourself unless you are prepared for the resulting fallout. I have a huge litany of what DOES NOT work.

So, fire away. Let’s see how far down the Rabbit Hole goes. Let’s take the red pill.

I also find your posts intriguing. Just know that while I don't participate much in discussions, I will enjoy reading your contributions to this forum.

I am also deeply involved in the metaphysical, and have been for many years. It's probably my favourite subject, and the source of most of my reading material.

Right now, I am studying the I Ching of all things. A friend gave me two books on it a couple of years ago, and they sat unread (as too intimidating) on my bookshelf until about 4 months ago. The I Ching is older than the bible, and many Chinese and Asian masters have contributed to it including Confuscious and Lao Tzu. I am now the proud owner of at least 5 books on the I Ching, and am fascinated by it's insight.
At 59, I am also a "free ranger". My mom was mentally ill with bipolar (called manic depression at the time), and my Dad worked all the time, so we had very little to no supervision.

[CrT0811]

Thank you for responding. Sounds like we do share some similar childhood experiences. My mother was also, at the very least, bipolar as well. She was never diagnosed...at least not that I am aware of. She spent a great deal of my young life checked out with the help of Prince Valium or Johnny Walker. So...

I haven’t spent much study on the I Ching. But I am interested at some point, researching the theories comparing the book of changes with the construction of the universe and its beginnings. It, like many other ancient texts, seems to have been steeped in layers as subsequent generations altered it to their own interpretations. Peeling back those layers is always interesting to geeks like me.

Keeping an open mind is also important when reading such works. “Mystery Schools” weren’t delegated only to the Middle East. I have discovered that every ancient series of texts I’ve ever looked into seriously, has numerous facets and can be interpreted to whatever generational worldview existed each time they were brought back into the light. Much like the alchemy writings of ancient Persia were when they were reworked by the Turks and again during the Renaissance...then once again during the Elizabethan age with Francis Bacon followed by Issac Newton. Like those, the I Ching took on whatever form needed by those using it at the time. I think what humanity has forgotten is almost more important than what is yet to be discovered. It’s an exciting time to be alive...yes?

Keep searching! It’s fun and keeps the brain cells exercised. We need all the mental cardio we can get, lol.