[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Grandmother passed this morning. She'd had a long and a good life. She was very loved and very admired and respected. Quite a gal!

I am totally exhausted today. Saw pdoc and she thinks I am on a downswing.
She wants me to increase my Lamictal; yet, I feel very sedated on it as it is. I have to think it over, even though she has called in the script for higher doses.

I am soooo exhausted!

Uggh!

Love to All!

WC

I'm sorry about your grandma, I'm glad she was sweet and respected that helps make good memories.

[hopeless2015]

WC I'm so sorry for your loss!!

Things are going ok, work is busy, days are flying by. It's been rainy and dreary all week..winter in Illinois for ya.

Hugs to all

[yellow_fleurs]

Wild Coyote, I am really sorry for your loss. I am glad she had a long and happy life.

[TheSeaCat]

Wild so sorry for your lost. Please be safe.

Hi guys it's finally Friday; my favorite day of the week. Work was a traditional Friday oodles of stuff to get done before the weekend. It's seems like I always have the most referrals on a Friday even though half of them only work a half day.

My headache is gone and my vision is like it usually is. don't know if it was the ear infection or the stronger dose of beta blocker but whatever it is I'm glad it gone; hopefully for good.

Christmas Party was a great success and the cleanup was a breeze. They really liked the turtle poke cake I made. It's great hanging out with coworkers outside of the office when there is no stress involved. I really feel like I'm finding my place again, granted I'm still scared of letting too many people in. That's how I got terminated from my last job; granted I haven't really done anything to be written up for and it's been over a month and I haven't had a panic attack or a episode of Bipolar.

My nieces wanted to hang out tomorrow but I already had promised to go clothing shopping with M; since apparently people are offended by the way he dresses, someone complained that he was wearing scrubs the other day. I was also told I'm far too young to be working in Healthcare. Haha So probably going to hang out with the nieces Sunday; my dad also texted me from my mother's phone that she misses me and wishes I would come home this weekend. I still haven't told them about the new 'baby' I told them I was probably going to trade the car in at the beginning of the year; but they have no idea. My Aunt knows; she's trying to get Uncle to get her one for Christmas since it has so much trunk space and according to her is the perfect amount of space; granted she hauls a lot of things as a drug rep. I think she will get her wish considered my Uncle texted and asked how much it was.

I'm really liking my life away from him; it's like my stress level was chopped in half the moment I moved. Maybe next weekend.

Hugs to everyone

[Guiness187055]

Sorry for your loss Wild Coyote

[BeyondtheRainbow]

so sorry WC. Praying for you and your family

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m sorry for your loss, WC!

[wildflowerchild25]

Work was interminable today. My student decided to sleep in detention all day so I had to sit and stare at my hands for an hour until they decided to send him home. Then I was sent to a classroom where I couldn’t really help so more staring at the clock. Finally at 2 o clock I jetted out of there and picked up my son to take him to get his flu shot. We did that and went home where I ate dinner and waited for RS to pick me up.

I went to an indoor car race with RS and it was actually fun! I thought I’d be bored out of my mind but it wasn’t so bad. It was a little long though, three and a half hours. I definitely wanted to be done with it after about two. But I got to sit and hold my honey’s hand for awhile so it was nice. I also met his dad, his uncle, his cousin, and his friend. I hope I was personable.

So we had THE conversation last night about exclusivity. We both agree that we’re not interested in playing the field and seeing anyone else so he is officially my boyfriend! I’m so happy. This feels so different from my ex; RS actually seems like he cares about me and isn’t going to suddenly stop being sweet two months into the relationship. And I care about him a lot. Plus, I’m stable this time. I’m not getting swept up in hypomania.

I’m having a lot of insecurities, mainly related to my MI because I feel like I can’t really trust him until he sees me at my worst a few times and doesn’t leave me. Which should be coming up shortly with quitting nicotine so we shall see.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Grandmother passed this morning. She'd had a long and a good life. She was very loved and very admired and respected. Quite a gal!


I am totally exhausted today. Saw pdoc and she thinks I am on a downswing.

She wants me to increase my Lamictal; yet, I feel very sedated on it as it is. I have to think it over, even though she has called in the script for higher doses.


I am soooo exhausted!


Uggh!


Love to All!



WC

Condolences to you and your family.

Maybe the increase will be different and just pull you up and not make you so sedated you can’t see straight. I can hope, right ?

Such a hard balance to find

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Work was interminable today. My student decided to sleep in detention all day so I had to sit and stare at my hands for an hour until they decided to send him home. Then I was sent to a classroom where I couldn’t really help so more staring at the clock. Finally at 2 o clock I jetted out of there and picked up my son to take him to get his flu shot. We did that and went home where I ate dinner and waited for RS to pick me up.


I went to an indoor car race with RS and it was actually fun! I thought I’d be bored out of my mind but it wasn’t so bad. It was a little long though, three and a half hours. I definitely wanted to be done with it after about two. But I got to sit and hold my honey’s hand for awhile so it was nice. I also met his dad, his uncle, his cousin, and his friend. I hope I was personable.


So we had THE conversation last night about exclusivity. We both agree that we’re not interested in playing the field and seeing anyone else so he is officially my boyfriend! I’m so happy. This feels so different from my ex; RS actually seems like he cares about me and isn’t going to suddenly stop being sweet two months into the relationship. And I care about him a lot. Plus, I’m stable this time. I’m not getting swept up in hypomania.


I’m having a lot of insecurities, mainly related to my MI because I feel like I can’t really trust him until he sees me at my worst a few times and doesn’t leave me. Which should be coming up shortly with quitting nicotine so we shall see.

I’m so happy things are going well with Rs and meeting some of his family is a nice indicator he wants this to last.

[Blue_Bird]

Slept for about 3 hours...not sure what's up with that lately. I wish I could go to bed and sleep for 7 or 8 hours.

I might be hanging out with a friend of mine later today, which will be a lot of fun. It's only just after 4am now.

[Tucson]

Here it is almost 3 AM once again. I am having trouble winding down for bedtime. Perhaps a night toddy? I do have a bottle of whiskey around here somewhere. Better than NyQuil, the version with the alchohol in it. Life is going on just peechy fine. Oh well. Up and down and around we go, just to do it all over again. Kind of like an amusement ride without it being any fun. Stuck. Cannot get out until the ride stops. But it never stops. Did I say something about a night toddy? Yes, this is what I will do.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Grandmother passed this morning. She'd had a long and a good life. She was very loved and very admired and respected. Quite a gal!

I am totally exhausted today. Saw pdoc and she thinks I am on a downswing.
She wants me to increase my Lamictal; yet, I feel very sedated on it as it is. I have to think it over, even though she has called in the script for higher doses.

I am soooo exhausted!

Uggh!

Love to All!

WC

My condolences on the loss of your grandmother WC. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope you start feeling better soon. That kind of exhaustion is disheartening and hard to work with. I hope you come to a decision on your Lamictal dosage that brings you peace and works for you.

Thinking of you.

[Scooter9]

I'm sorry for your loss, WC.

It's nice that you're able to reflect on your grandmother's life.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Grandmother passed this morning. She'd had a long and a good life. She was very loved and very admired and respected. Quite a gal!

I am totally exhausted today. Saw pdoc and she thinks I am on a downswing.
She wants me to increase my Lamictal; yet, I feel very sedated on it as it is. I have to think it over, even though she has called in the script for higher doses.

I am soooo exhausted!

Uggh!

Love to All!

WC

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Grandmother passed this morning. She'd had a long and a good life. She was very loved and very admired and respected. Quite a gal!

I am totally exhausted today. Saw pdoc and she thinks I am on a downswing.
She wants me to increase my Lamictal; yet, I feel very sedated on it as it is. I have to think it over, even though she has called in the script for higher doses.

I am soooo exhausted!

Uggh!

Love to All!

WC

Deepest condolences on your loss, WC. It is cool she was such a great lady.

I wonder if maybe your exhaustion played into your pdoc's impression of a downswing(??) How do you feel about her assessment?

Much

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Grandmother passed this morning. She'd had a long and a good life. She was very loved and very admired and respected. Quite a gal!

I am totally exhausted today. Saw pdoc and she thinks I am on a downswing.
She wants me to increase my Lamictal; yet, I feel very sedated on it as it is. I have to think it over, even though she has called in the script for higher doses.

I am soooo exhausted!

Uggh!

Love to All!

WC

So sorry for your loss, WC.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm very sorry for your loss WC

[beauflow]

s all,
and also sorry To hear Wild Coyote about your loss
s all that are feeling low and even feeling ok and good.

-----

Me... I am a moron and I don't deserve hugs or even space right now.. but i got 9 hours of sleep per Fitbit((that's unreal!)).

I haven't went to look at my car yet, and I think last night was just a reminder from the cosmos that I need to listen to my intuition.

I wish- and I am sorry if this sounds odd- wish I had a friend that -- we really clicked and it wasn't a forced on either end..
Tbh I wouldn't want to hang out with me again after last night either, unless I really knew me.. course if I really knew me I would had listened to what I said and not pushed me to do things that I even questioned in the moment..

I am a moron.

and this just reminds me, the people I thought were friends... really aren't... w/e - i too have a part in this also, as I was probably trying to fill a void with this friend... ((she is around my mom's age))

.. need to focus on other things than this.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Deepest condolences on your loss, WC. It is cool she was such a great lady.

I wonder if maybe your exhaustion played into your pdoc's impression of a downswing(??) How do you feel about her assessment?

Much

Thanks for helping me to think this through.

I'd really had no good reason to feel so terribly exhausted. It appears both my mood and energy are headed south. Lamictal, at higher dosages, makes me very, very sleepy. I feel terribly frustrated with meds I find sedating, as I cannot accomplish much when they are making me light-headed and too sedated to care/function well. We had decreased it for just a week before increasing it again. Pdoc feels it's not stabilizing me enough at a lower dose.

I have not yet decided if I will adopt the increase. I have meds which enable me to do it either way -- higher dose or same dose.

just thinking out loud.

I will give it some further consideration.

Thanks again, Innerzone!

[Wild Coyote]

Many thanks to everyone expressing condolences.

I cannot express all this means to me.

With Love and Gratitude,


WC

WC, I'm sorry to read about your loss. All the best to you and your family, and your grandmother's friends, during this hard time.

Hubby is sleeping the day away. It's 12:30 pm and he's sleeping. He wakes up in the middle of the night and stays up for hours. Then after I get him to join me for breakfast he wants to sleep again. I'm hungry for lunch and would like to do some things, preferably with him.

[Moose72]

Took n3 with me to saturday lunch with our friends. It was at a nursing home because one of the member's mother is there. We are home and ive got a christmas station playing on google home. Im going to go back to my book and maybe nap.

[TheSeaCat]

I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today; I am currently trapped in the hospital, Cardiovascular ICU to be exact. I fainted while shopping with M. Apparently while were discussing shoes my blood pressure bottomed out and I fainted cutting my head on a display which required five stitches. I also didn't wake up until I was in the ambulance and M was trying to shove an IV in my arm; which he is surprisingly good at. I also thought he had a twin in the ambulance the double vision had returned. I have very minor double vision as I post this. My heart rate is 160 and my blood pressure is 50/60 it was a lot lower in the ambulance. My heart rate was 200 when the ambulance got there.

I am beyond grateful I decided to hang out with M over the girls. I just keep thinking what if this happened while we were mini golfing. I would have traumatized my nieces. They wouldn't have known what to do besides panic.

My Cardiologist is also on call this weekend so at least I have my doctor that knows what the issue is. He also looks really good in scrubs; so at least I have an enjoyable view. He is still unsure what the heck is wrong with me; one minute it looks like Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia and the next minute it looks like Postural Orthstatic Sinus Tachycardia so I am getting a tilt table test tomorrow; once they get my blood pressure back to normal range; which in my case is traditional high. He doesn't think it has to do with the upped beta blocker it shouldn't have caused my blood pressure to drop out. Depending on what the tilt table says I might also getting an Electrophysiology Study either tomorrow or Monday to see if it was indeed a medication problem; it will also be able to tell them what medications I react the best with.

What grinds my gears was I was fine before I saw a Cardiologist my heart rate was high but the only time I noticed it was at a doctor's office and I had the rare issue of palpitations now it's sending me to the hospital; granted I'm pretty sure this visit was long overdue since I'm pretty sure my primary wanted to admit me several times over my heart rate; I'm just stubborn and he knew I would never go for it.

I also have to be put in the stupid ICU because no general floor wants a patient with a heart rate like mine; so now I have a nurse bothering me what feels like every five seconds. At least my nurse is nice. M also refuses to leave my side as does R. I'm debating on whether I call the parents or call Auntie. I mean I feel fine, just nauseous, a headache, fever, and my personal favorite fatigue. I'm also good and annoyed.

M also gets bonus points because he used my standard lie of why I am on Seroquel to the ER doctor depression instead of my Bipolar 2 diagnosis; my Cardiologist doesn't know my crazy diagnosis either. I'm just annoyed with my health here lately what happened to be indestructible and going a year and a half before needing a doctor; now I can't even make it a month. My mental condition is in check; but my heart isn't. I know I should be resting but I'm behind in school work and like hell am I taking an incomplete in all these classes.

I just want normal week where I am fine and don't have to see a doctor; hospital; or test. Is that too much to ask for? I am sick of health drama; and family drama. I feel like a drama magnetic; I swear my life isn't usually like this. I also want out of the stupid hospital, I hate it here.

Hugs to everyone

[Moose72]

Oh my gosh, Theseacat! What an adventure. I hope your heart rate and blood pressure get straightened out soon.