“WARNING: I’m Weird

I feel like having this written on my forehead, or as a badge on my shirt, or something.

I am awkward socially; and I constantly feel like an idiot. I do the classic go-home-and-replay-everything-that-happens-over-and-over-in-my-mind and just cringe myself into a tizzy.

My moods take me from being an oversharer during one interaction with a person to completely ignoring, or avoiding them at another time.

I keep my mental illness to myself, but sometimes I feel pressured to reveal it. But even if I did, I would still need the warning badge.

Can anyone relate?

Definitely relate. Something as simple as ordering food makes me feel like a complete moron sometimes. Especially when I’m depressed. When I’m stable I can mostly forget about it but when I’m depressed I mull over everything I say for hours after the interaction is over.

I also often feel like I am somehow marked so that others can see my deficits right away. I think this is caused by at least two feelings: I feel concerned about what people are thinking of me-- how I am coming across. I also feel/am often judged because I have several conditions which have caused disability for many years now.

people I meet casually do not know enough about me to have the info about which to make judgments. It seems easier to have these relationships, as they feel more forgiving and more humane than some.

If I did reveal this condition ( BP2), I would be judged even more unfairly.

Thanks for this thread.


WC

Yup I relate. I go from an attentive understanding funny friend to a socially awkward boring quiet antisocial person. I find it embarrassing. I loose a lot of friends because of this.

Yes yes yes.

I mentally have myself on a loop 24/7 I overthink everything down to ridiculous simple who cares things.

I feel your pain

I can relate. I'm really weird, always. It's ok. If they don't like weirdos, then I don't need them.

Definitely relate. I don't have many friends left, and I actually feel better because I don't have to monitor and control everything that comes out of my mouth. My husband gets me, and we do well together.

Are these symptoms of bipolar? Because I do these things all the time, but have never been officially diagnosed.

I often overshare too and am socially awkward. It can make it hard to have friends.

These can be symptoms of other things, like being on the autism spectrum. A diagnosis by a doctor is probably best.

I agree. Thanks

I relate so I am happily weird too

Yes can really relate that it’s easier to interact very casually with a wait person who I don’t know well and they will not be judging me similar to a coworker or fellow church goer I’m around often at work, church, etc. still if have to go to a family gathering or party or meeting, forget it, it is very socially uncomfortable, but it can depend sometimes. For example, I might “luck out” and be able to interact and a cousin or friend is nearby interacting in same conversation and it can help me feel more at ease so things go well.

I could have written this, word for word.

I feel that way too.

I feel weird too, I constantly overthink, I'm pretty sure I overthink about overthinking. I also worry about worrying, that is really fun to worry about. I also have the tendency to play everything over in my brain granted I've been doing better when it comes to it. When I was younger I had the tendency to overshare everything; granted I am getting better when it comes to thinking before I speak and that has cut down on the oversharing.

That was my week last week.

I did it yday. Blabbed my mouth off and walked away wishing I’d just shut up.

I have been an over-thinker until Im in a corner mentally. Replaying what happened over and over. Ive done this since my teen years. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 33.