Feeling numb

I suffer from bipolar OCD. I am married with 2 kids. I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. At the same point I feel very numb to things and hard to feel happy. I’ve dealt with severe bouts of depression in the past (including being suicidal). The way I feel is kind of the norm for the past several years, I’m level (somewhat) but numb. I have more recently established a bad habit of latching onto people too much, being overly needy and losing friendships. I never used to be that way but it’s almost like I always have to validate my self worth through others. I just want to be happy. I don’t really know what more to say except it’s very hard for people to deal with me (which is really my fault). Where should I go? My medication helps me stay level but doesn’t really seem to help inner happiness. Is that something I just may never find because of bipolar? I’ve tried other outlets but I don’t handle them in a healthy way and some obsessive tendencies tend to come out.

Hello hockey: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. Here are links to 8 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of living with bipolar disorder:

Bipolar Disorder - What is it? Can it be treated?

In-Depth: Living with Bipolar Disorder

10 Small Steps You Can Take Today to Improve Bipolar Disorder

The 4 Keys to Managing Bipolar Disorder

Building a Routine When You Have Bipolar Disorder

https://psychcentral.com/lib/bipolar...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-bi...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/being-...survival-tips/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Welcome hockey19. I wish i had an easy answers for all those questions bit im still working at them myself. Hope the best

A spiritual journey you must...a place of serenity and content must be found...an oasis within....

Have you tried meditating and finding a higher power?