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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 72,040
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#241
You can do it. __________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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bizi
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
14 31.3k hugs
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#242
__________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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bizi
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,293
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9 9,596 hugs
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#243
Third!
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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bizi
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
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#244
This evening I spoke with Carol.
I am meeting her this tuesday at her house at 7:30pm. WE are going to use the big book. She asked me if she could pray for me, silent pause on my part. Then I just said sure if you want to. She said that was the perfect answer. Tolerance is what we strive for, she said. We shall see how it goes. Jeff bought me a book: Under A-rest....Reflections on the twelve steps by Paul Hedderman. I am going to start reading it tonight and this weekend. I think it will help me process the steps. The big book is really religious... so I am not sure this is going to work for me. Any way I will see on tuesday how it goes. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
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9 95k hugs
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#245
I believe in you. You’ve got this! Good luck and best wishes! ((((HUGS))))
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bizi
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bizi
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,952
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12 5,480 hugs
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#246
Bizi I forgot sorry, are you in therapy?
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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bizi
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bizi
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
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#247
At the moment, not in therapy....too expensive for me. I go to therapy for a particularly stressful event. And then stop when I have it under control. My pdoc wants me to go to an alcohol abuse therapist but she charges $120 and hour and wanted to see me every 2 weeks. I am going to try AA and their sponsor (Carol) whom I will meet weekly. Thanks for asking. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Victoria'smom
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
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#248
Went to whole foods Bar last night and over ate. But, I did not drink nor even think about it.Bought raspberries, blue berries, cashews, sunflower seeds, hazel nuts and pistachio nuts ate all of the fruit with hubby and some of the nuts they were on sale and took them home. Then proceed to have "dinner" Order the 2 pattie burger with pepperjack cheese(no bun) with bacon and lettuce, extra tomato and purple onions with spicy brown mustard. It was very very good. Jeff had chicken salad and 3 beers over 3 hours.
I drank water. Scale up this morning...186. Must get going, need to take a shower. Paper work and 2 loads of laundry are on the agenda after chicken and sausage gumbo for lunch. We have a friend coming over for dinner tonight. Jeff is making avocados stuffed with cheese and covered in hamburger and wrapped in bacon on the grill. Have had this before but don't remember . Sigh beer drinking before diners interferes with remembering great meals. Think I will have another quick cup of coffee. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Sunflower123
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
given |
#249
Thank you all for your support!
Hope you are having a good weekend so far. Took a shower and washed my hair, put on clean clothes. Did 2 loads of laundry scrubs hung and put away. other load needs to be folded. Socks and undies. Finished all of my billing. one hour to do more paper work. rewarded my self some computer time because I finished my billing. Talked to my sponsor carol today....changed my time to 8pm on tuesdays. She was fine with that. She told me a bit about herself. I offed none....I tend to talk too much and did not want to do that with her. Asked her about another book that I was reading...she wants to go thru the big book with me, and thinks it is great to read other books and incorporate them. It is everyone's own journey. I will only go to AA once a week, on wednesdays. Maybe I could go to the gym on mondays, Thursdays and saturdays? I want AA to help me do things! Ready to change my ways of thinking and doing. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
given |
#250
Survived a cook out without drinking. At the dinner table we talked about certain chain of events being 2 years ago when I thought it was a year ago.
I think that I missed a lot by drinking over the years. My memory is horrible anyway and then on top of that to have missed so much....very sad. We had one guest, Paul rode his bike over here so he could drink and not have to worry about a DUI. One of my friends who I came out to last week asked me how I knew that I was an alcoholic? I told her that When I realized that last friday night I had drank the equivalent of 8 beers and drove home. That was the turning point for me. One week ago today: So June 1st is my day one sober day. I have done 6 weeks off for lent before but never intending to say good bye for good. the longest I have done with out alcohol is 5 1/2 months. But I never wanted to give it up for good. It was always in my mind that I could drink moderately. But I can't do that, I have tried and failed so many times. So I will give up alcohol and reach for a sober life. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Guiness187055, Innerzone, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
14 31.3k hugs
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#251
Good insight, bizi. You can do it!!
__________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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bizi
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bizi
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
given |
#252
__________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Innerzone
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
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#253
I feel very proud of myself.
Today after lunch I felt motivated to do some cleaning. I swept all of the laminate floors with a broom then a swifter. Can't believe there was so much cat hair! Did spot cleaning, cat spit up and coffee spills thru out the house. I scrubbed the kitchen floor and wet swiftered it. Out side I shook 2 rugs, they were so dusty/dirty there was a cloud of smoke out there! I think I am done for the day. Great start to cleaning my house! I could never have the motivation while I was drinking... it was all about drinking on sundays starting with bloody marys sunday brunch. Not today! bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Nammu, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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Innerzone
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
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#254
Lunch was amber jack fish and squash, rutabega, chard.
Work was light. Had for dinner: hamburger, avocado, cheese and bacon. and an arugula and brocoli salad with ceasar dressing. After dinner I went to the gym tonight and walked 2.5 miles in 50 minutes and used the hydro message bed as a reward for 10 minutes. very happy about this. eat less move more. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,293
(SuperPoster!)
9 9,596 hugs
given |
#255
You're doing great!
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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bizi
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bizi
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
given |
#256
Down 6.6 pounds in 11 days!
water weight I know, but still fun to see. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Sunflower123
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Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,746
9 5,426 hugs
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#257
You're doing a great job bizi! Keep it up.
__________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. |
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bizi
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bizi
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
6 736 hugs
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#258
Congrats to you, bizi on your decision to stop drinking. That's a life altering path you are choosing and I hope you have a safe journey to freedom from the addiction.
__________________ BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
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bizi
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bizi
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,904
18 44.3k hugs
given |
#259
Excited! Hubby is taking me on a surprise trip this weekend. We leave in the morning driving somewhere....He said that we have reservations at a nice place so I said oh I need to bring a nice outfit. He said no, we will just be tourist. So curious where we are going!
Just wanted to let you know. Have a great weekend. Bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Sunflower123
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
14 31.3k hugs
given |
#260
Have a nice time, bizi!
__________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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bizi
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