[skiguy18]

Anyone else terrified of the idea of getting old? I turn 46 this year and for some reason can't stop thinking about it.

[Guiness187055]

I am 41 but turning 39 had me feeling the same way you do. Now I just accept it.

I try not to think about it.

it's going to happen to us all eventually

I think the part I don't like is possibly ending up in a nursing home and having no indipendence.

and possibly getting dimentia

but I might not

you just don't know

I know with the nursing home thing I'm going to hold off on it as long as possible

I'm not against them as such but would prefer to be indipendent while I can, for as long as I can

I think the scary part to this is that my body is certainly showing signs of age

I have so much chronic pain, and my body feels so weak- which at my age isn't healthy

[sarahsweets]

I am not terrified but sometimes I do not feel mentally that I am 43 and then I am like "woa you're 43?"

I'm heading towards my late 40s. I'm not scared of the actual aging in terms of my death. I also still feel fairly young mentally in most ways, but know I'm middle aged. I'm not fooling myself. I really could lose 20 lbs, but feel I look young.

I guess the only somewhat scary thing about aging for me is knowing that my husband may possibly pass before me. He's almost 13 years older than me. My mom died of cancer when she was just one year older than my husband. It's good for me to realize this possibly, though not drive myself unwell over it. One must sort of prepare for such things. I'm far too dependent on my husband and can't even imagine the pain of being without him.

[MickeyCheeky]

I understand what you mean, skiguy18. I wouldn't say I'm terrified, but I feel nervous by thinking about it from time to time. Unfortunately it's just something we need to learn how to deal with, since there's no cure for it. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with it and help you feel better. Many people struggle with this once they get older. So you're definitely not alone in this. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Try to find some distractions if you can. What do you like to do in your free time? Do you have a support system IRL? Any friends or family that could help you? Keep writing here if it helps. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you

[pirilin]

The 1st shrink I visited had a reference to age in his questionaire.
It basically read if you were aprehensive of being or feeling old.

I never gave a hoot to it. Even if I was diagnosed at 63.
I was running with a very young crowd of girls. In their low twenties.
They were looking for a father figure. And I extracted their youth in return.

Age rubs on you. I moved permanently to a town very segregated agewise.
And landed on the wrong side of the coin for the most part.
Girls here don't need father figures here. They have their own at home.

And I have too many mirrows. I've aged 20 years in 5.
I stopped dying my hair. The 3day beard is gone.
I'm saddling an additional 25lbs, and feel as old as Mathusalem.

Loosely translated, the poet said:
"Yesterday a wonder I was, today I'm not even a shadow of myself."

I'm supposed to be dead by now. According to the stats.
I have beat the odds by almost a year. And counting.

I've learned a lesson, imparted by my optometrist:
"You have to be brave to be old."
I'm living by that creed now.

Everytime I feel bodily pain, I remember that I'm brave.
Brave enough to finish my days, the way The Superior Power intended.

I've learned that any day above ground, is a good day.
It's specially inportant is to be on the right side of the grass.

I'm not really needed anymore. My kids have grown. Mother died.
Only La Bruja has some kind of dependency on me.
And is not monetary. She makes four times what I make.
She will probably be better off with someone in her tax bracket.

So I'm living just because of me. I'm the most important person in my life.
Without me, there's nothing.

Besides, the alternative looks less appealing by the minute.
Hang in there. Get the senior citizen discounts.
Pester your children the way they did to you.
Follow the circle of life. Only that in itself, is a great achievement.

Good luck.

Cheers.

[liveforsummer]

Yes sometimes it terrifies me. I never think I’m going to live another decade then I’m surprised when I do. Thoughts of aging can deepen a depression and depression can make me consumed with aging. Not sure which triggers which.

And fortunately there’s times I just don’t care.

[Nammu]

When I turned 50 I was having lots of psyical problems that made me feel much older but now at 60 not so much but I have back problems that limit me and keep me from enjoying life more. Yes I do worry about aging.

I’m now 51 and the alters bother me. The littles and young ones have such a youthful energy that it physically stresses this body when they present. We are mostly younger then this body that we forget and it’s hard to slow down.

[Wild Coyote]

Yes, I find the idea of getting older somewhat difficult to deal with. I am mostly concerned with the progression of illnesses and with being alone when I need help with things.

Like BirdDancer, I have been very dependent upon my H. He has been my major support.

My best to All!

WC

[Merlin]

I'm still pretty young, mid-30s, but I've worried my illness has robbed me of the chance to have children. it's not too late yet, but it's later than I wanted. I don't even have a partner yet.

Originally Posted by skiguy18

Anyone else terrified of the idea of getting old? I turn 46 this year and for some reason can't stop thinking about it.

I've got a decade on you, and yeah, I am SO not cool with it. Too many reasons to list. When I observe many people older than myself, all I can think is HELL NO. I never want to be like that. In therapy, we've talked about this. My T made the point of that I don't have to be like them, because I'm like me. So I can actively choose my attitude and behavior. And trust me, I'm not following any fogey-minded parade. **** that.

So don't figure on seeing me in pastel polyester elastic-waisted pants talking trash about millennials, lol! Not going to happen. (For starters, my roommate's a millennial, and she's most excellent! )

I could go on all day about this topic. I'll spare ya though!

[wiretwister]

I believe I could be the poster child for old and tired ... at 61 I know I have a lot less time ahead than behind me ... nothing interests me anymore ... I know ... sounds like depression .... well write me a note and I will pass it to my pdoc ... he thinks I am fine ... my turmold is to go on at peace with all the world submerged in meds or to chuck them all and go out in a bang ... it would be nice to feel something again ... to enjoy something ... to want something ... someone ...

it has taken me 6 years to be complient completely with my pdoc and he is in complete knowledge and understanding of my condition ... we have a very good relationship and I do trust his judgement ... my hope is as time goes on I will feel better ... about everything ...

if I could leave anyone a word to the wise ... enjoy everyday ... live life to the full ... there is nothing so pitiful as to be old and have reqrets ...

be wise and love each other ... Tigger ..

[Skeezyks]

Well... I'm 70! What can I say... all things considered... it ain't so bad. I actually don't feel my age physically most of the time. And mentally I often have to remind myself how old I actually am. If I didn't have so much confusion & so many regrets regarding my life, things would be pretty darned good! But at least I don't have to "perform" anymore. I don't have to work & put up with all of the crap people have to put up with to support themselves. And I don't have to maintain a social life. I'm pretty-much thoroughly solitary & it suits me.

I don't look forward to the process of dying. But I don't fear being dead. What's there to be afraid of... you're dead! My fondest wish is, when I'm gone, to be simply forgotten... as though I never existed... complete & utter oblivion...

Here's a link to a YouTube video of (the late) Dave Carter & Tracy Grammar performing Carter's song: "When I Go". This is the way to approach the subject of death:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I am not terrified but sometimes I do not feel mentally that I am 43 and then I am like "woa you're 43?"

I have the mental age of a toddler

sometimes I wonder if it's just to try and hide the fact that I am going to get older at some stage, but then I've also been sheltered and abused- it plays a part

[wiretwister]

" My fondest wish is, when I'm gone, to be simply forgotten... as though I never existed... complete & utter oblivion... "

no skeezyks ... I will not forget you ... sorry to mess up your final wish ...

[ghostfox85]

Im 33, Im not really bothered about getting older. But sometimes I feel life is passing me by so quickly.

[BipolaRNurse]

I just turned 60 last Saturday and feel OK about it. I don't like what's happened to my body and mind in recent decades, but I do like being wiser. The only problem with that is, no one wants to listen to my wisdom! They prefer to make their own mistakes despite the fact that I spent 40 years ****ing things up so they don't have to. LOL

[~Christina]

I’m turning 52 next month I’m not thrilled nor impressed.

I know it’s just a “ number” but it’s a pretty big assss number.

Never thought I’d make it to age 50 , so every minute is a bonus I guess.

Meh

[AspiringAuthor]

I am 48 and I have physical limitations, but they come from obesity - visceral fat, a lot of it - and not from age. I see much older women in the swimming pool and yoga class doing just fine.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by skiguy18

Anyone else terrified of the idea of getting old? I turn 46 this year and for some reason can't stop thinking about it.

My hardest year so far was when I turned 49. The thought of being 1/2 century old was very hard for me to handle. I think mostly bc in my mind I could still see the young person I use to be. As time goes by, and it seems to go by faster the older I get, the less it seems to matter. I didn't look as old as I was at 49, but I look my age now. I guess once I started to look as old as I am, it didn't matter, and I realized that no matter how old I am, I can't change any of the past, all I can do is try to do, and be ok about the present.

Hey Christina: i'm 52 also! I feel sort of like a non-person. Society so values youth and beauty for women that now that i am not young and pretty i feel i don't matter. I might as well not be here. I've noticed that the older i get the more i value the company of other women my age or older. Men may not be interested anymore but i can have a good time without them. I guess it's just natural for the genders to lose interest in one another once child-bearing years have passed. The men seem to be as happy on their own as well. I see groups of them in the food court at the mall playing cards. Both men and women seem to be happy with the company of their own gender.

[AspiringAuthor]

I am hoping that one day my son will have children and I will enjoy being their grandmother. I am actually greatly looking forward to it, so greatly that I sometimes need to stop and remind myself that these days people do not have kids until their 30s and sometimes 40s (he is in his mid-20s). Maybe because in a large part i was raised by grandparents, but for me the old age holds out a great promise.

Also, Retin-A. Nightly, and forever. I use much younger than my late mom looked when she was my current age, even though I live in a much sunnier climate.