I shouldn't vent here my feelings, but I am going to anyway. I've been having this nagging feeling in my pit of my stomach that I want to go back to school and get my PhD. Financially I know it's impossible for me to do right now, and possibly ever. I think I'll have to leave that dream behind. It makes me sad because even if by some miracle I did have the finances to cover it -- I couldn't guarantee my mental state will allow me to continue. I had to put my master degree on hold for a year before finishing.. with only 2 classes to go. I started my PhD two years ago, but had to drop out due to an incident. I didn't even get passed week 3 of the first course. Sometimes I feel like a failure and it's times like this that I remember when and how I have failed.

I feel inadequate as it is -- I'm not the brightest person in the world and I often do things on a whim -- but receiving my doctorate has been a dream of mine since I can remember. Education is important to me. I just don't know where to go from here . The dream is essentially dead.

[GoldenSnitch]

I can relate to this. I completed my bachelors degree being unmedicated and screwed up my chances for getting a masters degree in that field. I’d love to get more education but I don’t know what to do and I don’t have the financial means to do it right now.

[BP1beauty]

I was just talking about this the other day.... I've had to leave college twice due to mental health issues . I'm very interested psychology and would like to continue my education towards that but like you I'm scared that I'll have a breakdown or something and fail. It's really inspiring to me that you have goals towards your PHD , that's awesome. I think people with mental illnesses have to push themselves pretty hard sometimes ( IMO) . If you are ever financially capable and feel you are in a good place mentally , I think you should go for it.

Better to have tried and , failed then failed to try .

[Unrigged64072835]

I only have an Associate's that's not even worth toilet paper now. I've tried to go back to college but can't handle the stress of schoolwork. Plus I can't even do college-level work anymore.

I don't know what I could do if I had to get a job. Nothing that would pay well enough to live on, that's for sure.

[bizi]

I am sorry you are discouraged.
So you have your masters degree in what? Do you work right now?
I understand that you would like to have your doctorate, is it required in what you are doing?
don't be so hard on yourself.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I think it's great that you have a masters. I really admire that. It's hard to study when you have a major mental illness. I know you're disappointed that you couldn't get a doctorate but don't forget to be proud of all you have accomplished!

[yellow_fleurs]

Brentus I can relate in that after getting really mentally unwell doing my master's last year I am not not sure I will ever go for the PhD. I don't know if I can mentally or financially handle it unfortunately. Would you maybe be able to finish it part time?

[FriendlyJoe]

Originally Posted by Brentus

I shouldn't vent here my feelings, but I am going to anyway. I've been having this nagging feeling in my pit of my stomach that I want to go back to school and get my PhD. Financially I know it's impossible for me to do right now, and possibly ever. I think I'll have to leave that dream behind. It makes me sad because even if by some miracle I did have the finances to cover it -- I couldn't guarantee my mental state will allow me to continue. I had to put my master degree on hold for a year before finishing.. with only 2 classes to go. I started my PhD two years ago, but had to drop out due to an incident. I didn't even get passed week 3 of the first course. Sometimes I feel like a failure and it's times like this that I remember when and how I have failed.



I feel inadequate as it is -- I'm not the brightest person in the world and I often do things on a whim -- but receiving my doctorate has been a dream of mine since I can remember. Education is important to me. I just don't know where to go from here . The dream is essentially dead.

Go for it and since it's a dream of yours then definitely do it. The dream is only dead if you want it to be dead.

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry you are discouraged.
So you have your masters degree in what? Do you work right now?
I understand that you would like to have your doctorate, is it required in what you are doing?
don't be so hard on yourself.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Master of Arts in Education with emphasis in Gifted/Talented.

I’d like to be a university professor and that almost always requires a doctorate. There are programs I’m really interested in, but I know I can’t afford.

I lost my job (non-tenure) last year... if they had rehired me I’d have tenure. I kind of got screwed over on that one.

Anyway I’ve reached out to a school and we’ll see where that goes...

[FriendlyJoe]

Originally Posted by Brentus

Master of Arts in Education with emphasis in Gifted/Talented.


I’d like to be a university professor and that almost always requires a doctorate. There are programs I’m really interested in, but I know I can’t afford.


I lost my job (non-tenure) last year... if they had rehired me I’d have tenure. I kind of got screwed over on that one.


Anyway I’ve reached out to a school and we’ll see where that goes...

All the professors at my daughter university has their PhD. Its pretty much a requirement now as an MBA is required in the business world.

[bizi]

We have masters trained instructors at the school where hubby teaches. He is in the school of music.
And it is accredited.
bizi

[LadyShadow]

I have always have wanted to go back to school and GET something, most recently it was a dream to get at least a Bachelor's in English to help with my aspiring writing career. But due to not only finances and not knowing where exactly I am going to live next year, I kinda don't want to start something and not finish.

Online classes aren't an option cause I just don't have the discipline to do it. I NEED to sit in a classroom and go somewhere to learn.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

I have always have wanted to go back to school and GET something, most recently it was a dream to get at least a Bachelor's in English to help with my aspiring writing career. But due to not only finances and not knowing where exactly I am going to live next year, I kinda don't want to start something and not finish.

Online classes aren't an option cause I just don't have the discipline to do it. I NEED to sit in a classroom and go somewhere to learn.

I hope you get settled into a new place and can start on that degree.
((((HUGS))))
I know you can do it!
bizi

Thank you all who responded. I'm very happy to see I'm not alone in all of this. We all have similar experiences. Thank you for the kind words too.

[gina_re]

I can sort of relate to this too. I've been wanting to go back and get my masters, but I'm scared. I'm really struggling whenever I try to read so I know I won't be successful in a advanced degree program now. I hope you're able to achieve your dream someday.