[Jester's Rags]

Family drama sucks. As much as things change, they stay the same. I’m feeling like I’m a crappy father. And just about everything is my fault.

I’ve not self-harmed in a while but my arm is calling for a blade. I’m fighting it and hoping that getting it down in writing may help. This disease can really kiss my arse. I’m so exhausted and my brain hurts.

[Victoria'smom]

Have you tried distractions?

[fern46]

I know what it feels like to fail your children. The shame can be overwhelming. I beat myself up mentally over it, but it doesn't help. Focusing on the moment and doing all I can to be healthy for them is the only thing that moves the situation forward.

I hope coming here and writing about it helps. We are here to listen and support you.

[bunnyhabit]

cutting is habitual and stress relieving. it is a daily battle to avoid disfigurement. you must love your physical self over emotional relief to succeed. every time I am weak I look at myself in a mirror to convince myself my body is more important than a questionable short term release of emotions

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by Jester's Rags

Family drama sucks. As much as things change, they stay the same. I’m feeling like I’m a crappy father. And just about everything is my fault.

I’ve not self-harmed in a while but my arm is calling for a blade. I’m fighting it and hoping that getting it down in writing may help. This disease can really kiss my arse. I’m so exhausted and my brain hurts.

please, try and distract yourself with something. sorry you are going through this. please feel better. sending good vibes. wishing you all the best.

[Jester's Rags]

I did ok last night and didn’t self harm. Writing about it helped. I also did something I shouldn’t have so that I could avoid thinking about anything. 2.5 mg of klonopin and 2.5 mg of Xanax. Would have taken more if I had it. I guess this was an attempt to avoid instead of dealing with it, but when the thoughts are racing and you’re hurting, you do what you have to do.

Thank you all for your supportive words.

[Victoria'smom]

glad you make it through.

[VerMOZZica]

I`m really glad to read that you didn`t self harm. I used to self harm too and it was a stress reliever for me too. It still tempts me today but I try hard to resist. I don`t want any more scars. I hope you continue to resist the urge to hurt yourself.