[Patient 2]

My brother was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (NOS) and I have been diagnosed as having Bipolar2. We are dealing with a family crisis that involves our mother and her recent cancer diagnosis. My brother is experiencing a manic mood, thinks he is an expert on cancer and has taken control of decision-making for our mother's care. This has caused a lot of confusion with the family members. I am experiencing a hypomanic mood in which I feel that my personal experience as a cancer patient (recovered) provides insights and knowledge that he lacks. I'm trying to figure out how I can deal with him when we have a disagreement so that it doesn't stress out our mother and our two sisters.

Has anyone else been in this type of situation?

Hi Patient 2. I'm sorry your mother has to battle cancer. I can certainly understand how stressful that must be for all in your family. That's great that you have survived that horrible disease. Your recovery can certainly provide great hope to your mom.

I know that such a horrible stress as illness in the family can cause mania. My mother's death exacerbated mine. My father's recent illness has triggered a bit for me, as well.

I feel for your brother, but imagine that adds extra stress for all of you. You say you have two sisters. Is it possible that you and your sisters can get together and have a bit of an intervention, of sorts, with your brother? You all should have a say in helping your mom. If you all know he's manic, it would surely be good to enlighten him about that fact, if he's lacking insight. Does he tend to take over things even when not manic? Personalities play a big part in family rifts, despite bipolar disorder.

My sister has bipolar type 2 and I have bipolar type 1. My youngest nephew had Bipolar NOS. It's highly likely that my father has bipolar disorder, too.

I'm almost 7 years younger than my sister. We had some very minor clashes growing up, but I sort of think they were run of the mill sibling clashes. I do know that her bipolar anger was often more physical, while mine was more verbal. She could definitely get to the point of lifting a chair in the air and slamming it down onto my brother's head. He didn't/doesn't have bipolar disorder, but was an "enfant terrible".

I'm not sure that bipolar type really matters so much. We all can get triggered. We all have different tipping points. We all have different base personalities and temperaments. Certainly manic overdrive amplifies these things.

[Patient 2]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hi Patient 2. I'm sorry your mother has to battle cancer. I can certainly understand how stressful that must be for all in your family. That's great that you have survived that horrible disease. Your recovery can certainly provide great hope to your mom.

I know that such a horrible stress as illness in the family can cause mania. My mother's death exacerbated mine. My father's recent illness has triggered a bit for me, as well.

I feel for your brother, but imagine that adds extra stress for all of you. You say you have two sisters. Is it possible that you and your sisters can get together and have a bit of an intervention, of sorts, with your brother? You all should have a say in helping your mom. If you all know he's manic, it would surely be good to enlighten him about that fact, if he's lacking insight. Does he tend to take over things even when not manic? Personalities play a big part in family rifts, despite bipolar disorder.

My sister has bipolar type 2 and I have bipolar type 1. My youngest nephew had Bipolar NOS. It's highly likely that my father has bipolar disorder, too.

I'm almost 7 years younger than my sister. We had some very minor clashes growing up, but I sort of think they were run of the mill sibling clashes. I do know that her bipolar anger was often more physical, while mine was more verbal. She could definitely get to the point of lifting a chair in the air and slamming it down onto my brother's head. He didn't/doesn't have bipolar disorder, but was an "enfant terrible".

I'm not sure that bipolar type really matters so much. We all can get triggered. We all have different tipping points. We all have different base personalities and temperaments. Certainly manic overdrive amplifies these things.

My mother passed away on June 15 in hospice at home. My bipolar brother was alone with her when she started showing signs of impending death. He sent me a frantic email that said if I wanted to see our mother again I had better come to town (I live 4 hours away). He could have called our older sister who lives just 5 minutes away except they recently had a nasty fight the last time they were with her. So nasty that my sister called the police! He sent me another email shortly after the first one in which he described how she had soiled on him. He was angry and put her back in bed after cleaning her up. The third and last email he said she had passed away. He did not call 911 because she has a DNR so he called the hospice. When I came into town for the funeral, I learned that he blamed our sister for giving her too much morphine, which is a lie. He also claimed that our sister was mentally ill and unstable, which is also a lie. She became the scapegoat and my younger sister sided with our brother. I sided with our older sister. Our family (what we have left) has been torn apart. I have had no contact with him since then and limited contact with our younger sister. Instead of grieving for my mother's death, I find myself caught up in the family conflict. I am considering going into therapy to help me cope with this situation.

[~Christina]

Condolences on the loss of your Mother is never easy to lose a loved one.

I’m so sorry your dealing with waring siblings. Maybe things will settle down once a bit of time passes? Grief can make some people really nasty in the moment.

During this trying time please make sure you take care of yourself

[downandlonely]

I'm sorry for your mother's death and all the family drama. I think therapy is a good idea.

[Nevvy]

Sorry about your mother, I lost my father last year to cancer (and found out via my sister, and I live halfway across the world).

This event is actually how I ended up severing contact with my sister altogether... My mother has bipolar disorder, my sister, and my father had it. I'm BP2 and my sister is BP1 (like my father was) . She has never seeked treatment and thinks that mental health problems are made up (despite the fact that she was in the hospital several times, and often made attempts on her life). So one of her last lows (when I was on vacation there...) forced me to step out of her life. My father died a few months before this happend, but yea, without treatment it can spiral. This has been going on for 20 years or so, so it's not like I didn't try to reason/help.

She has a son now and my grandmother lives with her, so until she gets herself together, I am also excluded from their lives. It sucked at first, but it's better for my health to just leave things alone and watch from the outside.

I get updates from my mother, she now bought a house (first viewing, ever), quit her job(awesome to do when you bought a house), and keeps having parties when she doesn't have the means. So it's going... Okay?

Okay this doesn't really apply to your situation too much, but I wanted to share how it can sometimes get, and that I understand how it is. I say try and work things out with therapy or something, otherwise, what happened to me is extreme and probably far from necessary with how your dynamic is.

Sorry for the constant editing, things keep popping into my head.

[fern46]

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. Therapy sounds like a good next step. Your brother is making poor choices, but you can only control how you respond. You seem to be seeking a healthy way to process all that has happened. Good for you. Blessings for peace for you and your family.