[Scooter9]

On July 1 it is three years since my sister passed away.

It happened so suddenly - she found out she had cancer and a week later she was gone.

My mother and I were planning to see her (she lived in the u.s. and we live in Canada) after we found out the diagnosis but we were too late. We went to her city to arrange the funeral and take care of a few things.

I still miss her and feel guilty about not being there for her that week after we found out she had cancer.

The only good thing is that I got to speak with her on the phone a number of times and the last thing we said to each other was that we loved one another.

I have been reading and learning about grief to try to find some way of dealing with this but it's an individual process. We each find our own way.

So far I am learning to move forward, not move on. I won't be able to move on, but move forward...I think I can do that.

I'm so sorry about you loss, and how it happened as it did. I'm glad you were able to tell each other you loved each other. You have the right plan "to move forward". You will never forget her. She lives on in you and everyone she's touched.

[~Christina]

I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s good you and her talking on the phone included the “ love you” so many now a days just don’t take the one second it takes to do so.

Keep posting if it’s helping you

[tecomsin]

I am sorry for the sudden loss of your sister from cancer and that you didn't get to see her before she died.

It's a blessing that you were both able to express love for each other at the end. Not everyone can do that, either because there's no opportunity or because there is not the feeling in the relationship to say those words.

[Scooter9]

Thanks everyone. She liked a particular restaurant that we have only in Canada and went to it every time she visited. We're going there on the 1st. We do it every year.

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry for the loss of your sister and that you weren’t able to see her before she died. It’s wonderful you got to talk to her that last week. I think going to her favorite restaurant is a wonderful way of remembering her. My condolences.

[Unrigged64072835]

So sorry for your loss. It sounds good that you do positive things to remember her.

[Wild Coyote]

Hey Scooter,
I, too, am so very sorry for your loss.
It's critically important to tell those we love that we do love them. I am so glad you and your sister could be open enough with one another to do so!
I have lost MANY family members since the time i was 11 y.o. and have realized the importance of expressing love, gratitude and admiration to those we care about... on a frequent basis. This lesson also plays into the way I relate to people here on PC.

I am very happy to know you, Scooter!
I am very sorry you are grieving. I hope time will help in your healing. It's a wonderful gesture to share a meal at your sister's favorite restaurant! I hope she will join with you in Spirit and you will have an enjoyable time.

Scooter

[Scooter9]

Thank you so much everyone for your support!

[AspiringAuthor]

What a wonderful tradition to go to her favorite restaurant to commemorate the day of her passing! Like other posters, I am so glad for you that you and your sister go to express your love for one another before she was gone. She lives on in your thoughts. Condolences to you and your mom on losing your sister/ daughter.

[tecomsin]

This thread helped me to be able to tell my dying father that I loved him and he said he loved me too.

[AspiringAuthor]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

This thread helped me to be able to tell my dying father that I loved him and he said he loved me too.

How wonderful! May he have a painless passage.

[TheSeaCat]

Scooter

I am sorry about your sister; I am sending many gentle hugs your way.

[Scooter9]

Thank you BirdDancer, Christina, tecomsin, Jennifer, fharriage, wild coyote, innerzone, aspiringauthor, and theseacat!

I'm glad you got to speak to your father tecomsin.

We just came back from lunch at the restaurant. We shared stories and memories together.

I still miss her and think of her every day. And I feel bad about that because I didn't think of her so often when she was alive. We did become friends in the last years of her life though. We exchanged emails and called and texted, it was nice.

We're going to visit my mother this evening.

[MickeyCheeky]

I am SO SORRY for your loss, Scooter9! My deepest condolences to you. Like all the other posters have already wisely said better than I ever could, I'm REALLY HAPPY that you were able to tell her that you love her. I'm sure she will forever remember you and your family in the Afterlife. Going to her favourite restaurant is a WONDERFUL idea to remember her. You are right when you talk about moving FORWARD. You will never forget her but you will be able to accept her passing away. I'm sure of that. You'll ALL be in my thoughts and prayers, including your mother of course. Also kudos to @tecomsin for being able to tell his father that he loves him! I'm always happy when threads like this can also help other people. Keep posting everyone. You never know how your posts may be helping other people without even you knowing it. Sending many safe warm hugs to you, Scooter9, your sister, your mother, your family, ALL the people you love and who love you and EVERYONE including ALL the wonderful folks here on PC!