[Jensitive22]

We live in a senior mobile home park. My husband got yelled at by a park resident about our dog, not the first time. In the argument they said that people were talking about him and “that Amazon”. I wouldn’t have known this if my husband hadn’t told me. I’m 5’7” and 280lb. I was just crushed. Husband tells me to just ignore it, forget about it. If only..

[Jedi67]

that's terrible. sorry you went through that. some people are just so insensitive and uncaring. it's the reality of today. but maybe your husband is right, you may not like it, but ignoring ignorant people may be the way to go. it'll be hard but just try to avoid and pay no heed or attention to these mean people you have to live around. don't give them any ammunition or satisfaction. show them it does not hurt you. again, sorry you had to experience that.

When I think of "Amazon", beyond amazon.com, I think of a tall female warrior or any tall woman. I realize 5'7" isn't very tall, but maybe to others who are short, it is. You and all of us here who fight mental illness are warriors. It's a great thing!

My husband has a statement he uses when people are obnoxious. He says "You can kiss my aura!" It feels good to say that to people sometimes, if you don't like the other "a" word.

[Wild Coyote]

Hi Jensitive,

It's nice to have you posting; yet, I am sorry about the event that brought you here. We are here to listen and to lend support if we can do so,; you are in the right place!

Many of us, if not all of us, struggle with weight issues, especially in regards to medication side-effects.

It must feel horrible to know your neighbor can be so insensitive, especially to you, another neighbor. It has to hurt.

I don't believe in hiding feelings unless someone is more comfortable that way. I just do not endorse that method. I think feelings comes back to haunt us when we do not openly/fully process them.

I highly recommend fully feeling your emotions in order to process them and to avoid stuffing them.

I also think it is entirely appropriate for you to let your neighbor know you have feelings are are deeply hurt.

If you'd like to let your neighbor you are hurt, maybe wait awhile, until you can compose yourself and can take the high road if/when you converse with your neighbor?

If you feel you'd like your neighbor to know you are hurt and do not feel you can face him/her, then maybe you can send a note?

it's very important for all of us to remember that whatever a person says about anything/anyone has SO MUCH more to do with him/herself.

I don't know if any of this helps your hurt in any immediate fashion. I am sorry, I feel like I am falling short of helping you.

When we are hurt, we often go on to feeling angry. You may feel either or both. I hope you will allow yourself to have these feelings for however long it takes to process them.

As I had mentioned in the first sentence, it is nice to have you around!

You are not alone when you are here with us!

[fern46]

I'm really very sorry this happened to you. I imagine it was quite hurtful. I agree with Wild Coyote that it is important to process your feelings about this. You can do that in an infinite number of healthy ways. If you don't want to confront the neighbor directly you can write the note WC mentioned and then keep it for yourself or burn it or whatever.

There is something positive here though. You have the opportunity to hold gratitude. You can be grateful that you do not conduct yourself in this way and that you have the sense and empathy to know better. You aren't lashing out and sinking to the same level. Not all people have that gift. Your neighbor certainly doesn't. Try to hold onto that when you're feeling low about this. It is part of what makes you beautiful.

[MickeyCheeky]

What a rude, insensitive comment!! THAT MAKES ME REALLY, REALLY MAD that there are STILL people who make such RUDE, INSENSITIVE COMMENTS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!! I am so sorry for what you're going through! I agree with your wise Husband and ALL the other wise, wonderful posters. Ignore these comments and this kind of people. They're REALLY not worth your time. I understand it's not easy. Give it a try though. You have value and you are important. You matter and you're WONDERFUL! Like Wild Coyote has already WONDERFULLY SAID... those comments are not about you, they are really about them. Keep remember that as much as you possibly can! Please don't hesitate to EVER PM me ANYTIME YOU WISH TO if I can do something to help you, even if it's just to have someone who will listen to what you have to say WITHOUT JUDGING! I am SURE plenty of others will gladly HELP YOU OUT as well if you just ask! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You and Your Husband, @Jensitive22, and ALL of the People who TRULY, DEEPLY CARE ABOUT YOU! PLEASE DO KEEP FIGHTING AND PLEASE DO KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF!! YOU'RE THE STRONGER WARRIOR THAT THERE IS!!

[piano97]

Don't let things make you mad. Tell them to F off and laugh.

[Jedi67]

gotta agree with piano97. don't let these folks make you angry (probably too late tho), it isn't worth it. just chalk it up to ignorant people saying ignorant things. but at least you are processing your emotions which is always good to do. try not to internalize any of it.

I am sorry to hear about what that person said.

Lots of times, people bully because they're insecure about themselves. They put others down to make themselves feel better, and they do it whenever they can find an excuse (in this case, your dog). Therefore, their words are nothing more than a reflection of their own insecurities and they aren't worth interpreting or ruminating about.

I am not downplaying the fact those are hurtful words, but rather, I am saying that the person who said them is only saying them to express their anger/exasperation. They could simply say, "I am upset with your dog," but they took it a step further because they "need" to make themselves feel better. I mean, I don't know why else you would randomly insult someone unless you're feeling sh_tty about yourself in some way and want to make yourself appear like "a better person."

[Jensitive22]

Thank you for all the replies. You ALL have been encouraging, sympathetic, and angry on my behalf. Hateful words about my appearance, my weight in particular, push my buttons. Shame, humiliation, etc. I think it hit me harder because it was said to my husband. I worry my weight is embarrassing to him. But you’re right, it is up to me who I let speak into my life. They are not neighbors, friends, relatives or acquaintances so screw em!

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by Jensitive22

Thank you for all the replies. You ALL have been encouraging, sympathetic, and angry on my behalf. Hateful words about my appearance, my weight in particular, push my buttons. Shame, humiliation, etc. I think it hit me harder because it was said to my husband. I worry my weight is embarrassing to him. But you’re right, it is up to me who I let speak into my life. They are not neighbors, friends, relatives or acquaintances so screw em!

so true! good for you. you have such a good attitude. way to go!

[~Christina]

I’m very sorry this happened to you

I really wish the world was flat and I was a cat.. I’d just knock some ugly people right off the edge.