Bipolar check in #37

Blue_Bird · Sep 19, 2019 at 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Cool! I will have to visit that site!

It must feel good to participate.

Yes it does

I never submit anything anywhere usually. I've really only done one art contest in my life and I won 2nd place and was in a local newspaper. This isn't a contest of course but it's still cool

Moose72 · Sep 19, 2019 at 07:28 PM

Everybody is safe. I'm back home in my pajamas and I took a prn. Let's see if it helps.

Thanks for everybody's concern. It means a lot.

fern46 · Sep 19, 2019 at 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

madinamerica.com it's a website

It was started by Robert Whitaker. I just read his book 'Anatomy of an Epidemic'. Blew my mind.

Wild Coyote · Sep 19, 2019 at 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter9

Moose I hope you are safe.

My pdoc agreed to Mirapex. She said she hasn't treated anyone for depression with it but says she'll give it a try.

I might start it some time next week, depending on when she can call in the prescription.

Hi!

I hope Mirapex helps you.

I want to warn you that it can have some GI effects at first. Many experience nausea, vomiting, heartburn. I was told about 50% of people vomit.
I had some upper GI upset. I was able to get through it by using; simethicone (Gas-X) and a carbonated ginger ale. (My preference is Reed's Ginger Brew. It is very strong with ginger.I did not come close to vomiting.)

I had suggested to my pdoc that she consider using an anti-nausea med, just initially. She had not thought of that. Of course, it is best if you can get by without another med.

Once I had gotten through the first week, all GI symptoms disappeared for me.

I hope your initial introduction to Mirapex occurs is pleasant.
I will be interested in how you do with this treatment.

Please do PM me anytime.

Victoria'smom · Sep 19, 2019 at 09:45 PM

I'm home, im not sure when I'll be safe to be alone for a little. How do I determine that?

Moose72 · Sep 19, 2019 at 10:00 PM

The prn Haldol has kicked in. Im drowsy, and a little bit "drunk" feeling. Watvhing a movie.

Wander · Sep 19, 2019 at 10:13 PM

Two days ago I increased my Lithium a little and have put the taper on hold. The awful symptoms have disappeared thankfully. Now I will stay on this dose till I see my pdoc in two weeks. Then we will work out a slower taper that will avoid such awful withdrawals.

Still really tired. Trying to motivate myself to go for a walk soon. Gosh my life is boring.

bizi · Sep 19, 2019 at 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm home, im not sure when I'll be safe to be alone for a little. How do I determine that?

Is your hubby home?
Do you feel safe with him?
bizi

Wild Coyote · Sep 19, 2019 at 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm home, im not sure when I'll be safe to be alone for a little. How do I determine that?

Do you think it might be possible to set a very focused and a strong intention to be safe?

Are you more concerned about hurting yourself or being harmed by someone else?

Wild Coyote · Sep 19, 2019 at 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Two days ago I increased my Lithium a little and have put the taper on hold. The awful symptoms have disappeared thankfully. Now I will stay on this dose till I see my pdoc in two weeks. Then we will work out a slower taper that will avoid such awful withdrawals.

Still really tired. Trying to motivate myself to go for a walk soon. Gosh my life is boring.

When we are feeling more stable, life can feel a bit boring.

Victoria'smom · Sep 19, 2019 at 11:44 PM

He's home and I am safe but I'm getting annoyed being dragged everywhere for my safety.

Victoria'smom · Sep 19, 2019 at 11:53 PM

Are you more concerned about hurting yourself or being harmed by someone else? I'm more concerned about someone else but to prove to myself I'm okay I generally want to self harm. It's a really tough spot to be in. I need to handle it because my h isn't always going to be available and I won't always be aloud to sit and wait for him.

~Christina · Sep 20, 2019 at 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Are you more concerned about hurting yourself or being harmed by someone else? I'm more concerned about someone else but to prove to myself I'm okay I generally want to self harm. It's a really tough spot to be in. I need to handle it because my h isn't always going to be available and I won't always be aloud to sit and wait for him.

What do you mean by “ I need to handle it because my H isn’t always going to be available and won’t always be allowed to sit and wait for him” ? Why would that change ?

Victoria'smom · Sep 20, 2019 at 04:41 AM

H is in school and getting more involved. The end goal is for him to freelance. I can't go with him to his freelance meetings. He's getting involved with clubs I'm not a student so some of the meetings I can't nor would I want to go. I end up waiting in the library for his classes/meetings to be done. I'm trying to be souportive but I want to stay home. I need to make it so I can safely be home alone for 8 hrs or more. It's like he's getting so wrapped up in networking he's forgetting I'm stuck riding/ waiting for him. If I can get my paranoia under control maybe I can manage to stay home at least some of the time.

But even now with everyone sleeping I don't feel real and want to "check" to be sure.

De Luca · Sep 20, 2019 at 05:06 AM

I've definitely been depressed more often than not the past several weeks. No manic episodes in a long time though. I've been on long-term disability from my job for most ot there year and don't intend to go back. Finding a new one is challenging. I worked a corporate job and 4 years of my boss's bullying and harrassment was one of the several contributors for me going on disiability and into IOP earlier this year.

My spending is okay even though I do have impulses. Nothing makor I only bought a video game a few mangas

Sep 20, 2019 at 05:20 AM

I showered today.

it hurt

set me up for a day of pain

De Luca · Sep 20, 2019 at 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I submitted a piece of artwork I did related to schizoaffective disorder to madinamerica

I'm feeling much better tonight. I've been using a lot of coping skills

I like the art you've posted. I find art and writing to be a helpful way for me to express myself also. I'm not good at drawing but abstract stuff I've done turns out interesting

I used to do a blog my self a couple years ago but took it down out of insecurity. I liked to write but found writing straightforward about myself gave me too much anxiety and fear of someone figuring out who I was. Instead I wrote about myself through a fictional story and characters to mask myself if anyone read it. Seemed to work for me and bring out quite a lot of subconsious thoughts I wasn't aware of.

Thanks for sharing your art and website.

fern46 · Sep 20, 2019 at 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

H is in school and getting more involved. The end goal is for him to freelance. I can't go with him to his freelance meetings. He's getting involved with clubs I'm not a student so some of the meetings I can't nor would I want to go. I end up waiting in the library for his classes/meetings to be done. I'm trying to be souportive but I want to stay home. I need to make it so I can safely be home alone for 8 hrs or more. It's like he's getting so wrapped up in networking he's forgetting I'm stuck riding/ waiting for him. If I can get my paranoia under control maybe I can manage to stay home at least some of the time.

But even now with everyone sleeping I don't feel real and want to "check" to be sure.

Maybe we can find another way for you to check that you're real? What in particular about self harm validates that for you?

Maybe you could instead... Pinch yourself? Look in the mirror? Call a random store and ask for directions so you can hear a person respond to you? Post here and see the responses from us? Scream so you can hear your voice?

If you have to see blood maybe you can prick yourself with a needle? That's less invasive than the alternative. I still don't like it though.

Just a few ideas. I know many here have good ideas of how to do reality checks.

Victoria'smom · Sep 20, 2019 at 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fern46

Maybe we can find another way for you to check that you're real? What in particular about self harm validates that for you?

Maybe you could instead... Pinch yourself? Look in the mirror? Call a random store and ask for directions so you can hear a person respond to you? Post here and see the responses from us? Scream so you can hear your voice?

If you have to see blood maybe you can prick yourself with a needle? That's less invasive than the alternative. I still don't like it though.

Just a few ideas. I know many here have good ideas of how to do reality checks.

I'm trying to let it pass. I feel almost plastic but that's okay. I do want

Possible trigger:

to check if I have blood

but there's no safe way. I'm going to continue talking here. I'm hoping this goes away fast. I'm interacting just fine but it's like I'm a fake me. I know that's not true. I can hear my voice but it doesn't sound like it's coming from me. Oh well it will pass. I will try screaming when I can.

fern46 · Sep 20, 2019 at 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm trying to let it pass. I feel almost plastic but that's okay. I do want

Possible trigger:

to check if I have blood

but there's no safe way. I'm going to continue talking here. I'm hoping this goes away fast. I'm interacting just fine but it's like I'm a fake me. I know that's not true. I can hear my voice but it doesn't sound like it's coming from me. Oh well it will pass. I will try screaming when I can.

Makes sense. You can also feel your pulse. That's proof your heart is beating and circulating your blood.

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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 14,930 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,464 hugs given	Sep 19, 2019 at 09:45 PM #625 I'm home, im not sure when I'll be safe to be alone for a little. How do I determine that? __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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Moose72 Silver Swan Member Since Jan 2008 Location: USA Posts: 16,521 (SuperPoster!) 16 2,571 hugs given	Sep 19, 2019 at 10:00 PM #626 The prn Haldol has kicked in. Im drowsy, and a little bit "drunk" feeling. Watvhing a movie. __________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019)
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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 14,930 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,464 hugs given	Sep 19, 2019 at 11:44 PM #631 He's home and I am safe but I'm getting annoyed being dragged everywhere for my safety. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 20, 2019 at 05:20 AM #636 I showered today. it hurt set me up for a day of pain
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