Bipolar check in #37

Here's the new thread......hope it works.

Thanks for the new thread. I'll try my best to check in everyday!

Thanks for the new thread Nammu


I've been doing very well, like more stable than I've been in loooong time! I'm so excited about trying to get into volunteering and part time work.

Haven't even had any impulsive spending urges at all lately, no voices or paranoia/delusions. It's such a relief. I've been keeping up with cleaning and eating fairly healthy, getting out. Will be spending some time with a friend this weekend which should be nice.

Hope everyone is doing well

That is wonderful, Blue_Bird! Same here on feeling extremely stable. Also same here in that I'm planning to start volunteer work soon. Next week I will likely have a one-on-one meeting with the Director of Volunteerism at my chapter of NAMI (National Alliance On Mental Illness). I'm psyched!

I'm not usually a hyperspender, but will admit that I've been ordering more stuff than usual. Mostly Christmas cookie stuff. Yea, I know. That sounds strange, but I'm working on a blog post relating to Czech Christmas cookies. It requires some more recipe testing, photographs, etc.

GREAT NEWS!!! I am very happy for you! Yes, friendships can be so important!!!

I've been getting steadily more depressed as the days pass. I had been manic since I got out of the hospital. The psychosis isn't too bad tho so I guess that's a good thing.

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

I don't check in everyday tho I do read the thread everyday.

I've not been sleeping well. My ambian completely konked out on me. Really need to make a doctor appointment but not looking forward to it as I only have a PCP who does all my meds and trying to explain why sleep in so vital for bipolar stability is hard. He's a nice guy and listened when I first saw him and did write the script for two 10 mg tablets which is high. But mental health is not his balwick. Our relationship is pretty much that the pharmacy calls him and he renews the scripts.

I toss and turn most of the night. I got up last night and watched tv, came here and read a bit before going back to bed and achieving a zen state to get some rest. I can't keep that up for days so yeah......my goal is to get a dr appointment. And maybe bring up the vomiting too.

ambien stopped working for me too. my PDoc gave me KPin to use for sleep, but I don't want to get too dependent on it, so I don't use it every night and when I do, I still wake up in the middle of the night. good sleep is something we all definitely need in order to function in a normal manner through-out the day. I know, personally, I need to get into that zen type of sleep you mentioned.

I hope you get in soon to see a Doc. definitely bring up the vomiting. maybe a side effect?

I hope you can get your needs attended to. I have briefly forgotten about the vomiting. I hope you find both answers and assistance.

Thanks for the shiny new thread!!!

I’m so sorry Ambien has up and died on you it did the same to me in the past.

I hope your Doctor is willing to st least try some meds to see if something sticks ..

Do you have any ideas ???

Evening anxiety is back. Why does it get worse in the evenings!!???? Can’t even watch tv for long. Sleeps been iffy as well so sick of relying on medications to sleep. I can’t remember the last time I made it through the night with no help.
Just feeling frustrating. Thanks for hearing me out

I’m the same. As soon as the sun sets my anxiety increases. I have no idea why.

Me too. I just decreased my klonopin dose a little bit and have more gabapentin to help with the withdrawal. I have to save it until evening/night or I'd be totally miserable.

Ha ha, I decide to call the doc for an appointment and what comes in the mail? An invitation to come to a funeral home to hear a 90 minute lecture on cremation! Good thing I'm not paranoid!

And oh, I don't like benzos cause they interfere with my mood state, but maybe taking them at night for sleep I wouldn't notice a mood shift.....cause hopefully I'd be sleeping! Hmm I could bring those up.

That’s pretty funny! Seriously though, I hope you get the sleep and vomiting sorted out.

From hermit to.... well busy! The MeetUp groups have a been a help there. And since I joined a singles one (yikes, I know) I get a lot of emails of activities. I've only been to one of the singles ones so far, and it was not as I had feared, so I'm going to 2(!) tonight, back to back(!!) I'm more nervous transit-wise about going places I've not been before. Went to another one (not singles) the other night, and there was a guy definitely interested who was not part of the MeetUp, just happened to be at the same location they were meeting. Life's funny that way. Gave me his card, hoping I'd follow up. I'm not going to though. Just not interested. Additionally, I'm listening to my gut, and I just had a feeling that gave me pause.

Then tomorrow, there's another gathering (again, not singles).

If you want to get out more, I can tell you this is quite an effective way.

Work had a few trying days this past week. Just me feeling inept for making mistakes. I can beat myself up better than anyone.

Well, better get on with the day. Lots to get done.

Many hugs all around. Sorry not to respond individually all that much. I'm rarely here on my computer, but instead on my phone taking transit. Besides the sometimes bumpy ride, I can't type with 2 fingers, so it takes forever to respond. (Yeah, I'm on the computer right now. WOW, SOOOOO much easier to type, lol!)

*********
Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

That’s great! Hope you have fun tonight!

Checking in. Doing ok. The taper off Abilify is complete. A few bumpy moments but those could be situational.

Mom has fallen twice in a week with the most recent last night when she hit her head on the night stand. We are going to the doctor later today to get checked out. I am worried at the frequency of the falls. I am pushing her to go to PT for stability training as she was supposed to months ago after recuperating from her last fall.

I had a pretty serious disagreement with a close relative and we are not currently talking. It’s quite painful. I need space and time to process some of the things that were said and my life coach is helping me a great deal.

I stumbled across a few Facebook groups for Highly Sensitive Persons and Introverts and it’s been like a balm for my soul. I don’t have any around me irl and like with this forum...it’s really nice to be understood and to be around like minds.

All in all...my mood log says good for the day. Going to get some float time in and going to a movie if mom checks out.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Oh no! I hope your mom is okay?

It sounds like an excellent idea for her to go get some help with balance.
Do you think she is on any meds which might be contributing to her falls?

I am sorry about the disagreement. It can be very difficult to be at odds with someone we care about.

Yes, it can be so very helpful to find others living as a HSP irl.
I hope that helps you in every possible way.

I have been feeling okay over the last fewe days

only real issues for me at the moment are chronic pain and sleep (both of them given, I can't seem to control either.)