Bipolar Check-In #38

I'm up too @~Christina ... Mine is more PTSD and less steroids, but still awake nevertheless.

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

This is excellent news! I'm happy to know that you won't have to dread the trip (or at least as much). Way to go with the negotiations!

I hope you are now getting a little sleep. I hope you start feeling even better yet. It made me smile to read that you finally see good progress on that front. You definitely have had to endure too much.

Good Morning!

Awake most of the night, too. Didn't realize so many were awake. We could have had a pajama party!

Am feeling very hungover right now.
I hope to get over it. I have lots to do today!

Love to All!!!

I haven't slept for two nights now

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

Yay!!! That is great news!!! I’m sorry you had a hard time sleeping last night though. I hope you get some rest soon. Your Christmas trip does sound like it will be much less stressful. So pleased for you.

I hope you feel more alert soon and get tons done. I also hope you get some good rest tonight or today if you nap.

Goodness. Do you know what is keeping you up? I hope you get some quality rest soon.

PTSD and stress

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you get some rest soon.

Woke up at 3am and cleaned/paced for 5 straight hours. I guess I was a little ramped up, not sure why. Anyway, got my grocery shopping done and I'm really excited because I bought sone chocolate chip cookie sandwiches with cannoli filling! 😃

Have been having some bad anxiety probably from the lack of sleep so took one of my PRN medications. Just hoping the rest of the day goes by fast so I can get a good nights sleep tonight.

I'm too tired to do anything now like focus on reading a book but at the same time I want to do something so the time goes by faster so I'm stuck debating what to do

I don't know. I so rarely drink. What with cirrhosis I probably shouldn't drink. That's what I'm saying. But yeah- the kids were all a twitter: Mom got alcohol?? I don't worry that I'll become an alcoholic but I do worry about what the kids think.

My day is somewhere between "bad" and "alright." Sometimes, things are okay; other times, they're not. So, it's tough to say one way or another if my day is alright or bad.

I haven't cleaned in two days if you include today. I desperately want to clean, but I also don't feel up to it. I'm really tired and worn out, especially after hearing the mice all night long last night... *scratch* ... *rustle* ... *rustle* ... *scratch* ... *scratch* ...

I haven't tried my peppermint scent in the diffuser, but I might try it tonight since mice supposedly hate the scent. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about my apartment smelling like peppermint, but it's better than having mice around. Plus, my apartment has a weird lemony chemical scent that hasn't gone away since moving in 1.5 yrs ago anyway, so I suppose peppermint can't be any worse. Maybe annoying, but not worse. Here goes nothing...

@bluebicycle Good luck with the peppermint!

I am sitting at the bookstore reading "Wasted". N3 is home supposed to be memorizing a couple pieces for Thursday. We will see! He's so lazy but so talented. Story of everyone's child, right?

Yes I will have insurance I think, I just signed up through the healthcare.gov. As long as they accept my documents I will have it. I won’t go back on invega as it screwed up my hormones and caused me to gain 75lbs in a year. Stability is not worth gaining more weight. Especially since I might have diabetes already.

Today it was hard to get out of bed. But I did it. I didn’t think I could make it through work but I did. So small victories. The last thing I have to do today is take a shower before my appointments. Seems impossible but I’m going to try. I might end up just washing my hair. I did shower yesterday so it’s not an immediate need.

I’m not sure if I feel safe driving to my appointments today. I will be on the highway and it will be hard not to hurt myself. But there’s no one to watch my son if RS comes with me. He’d have to sit in the waiting room and entertain my son for twenty minutes at the pdoc and 45 minutes at my T. I don’t want to do that to him. He’ll do it if I ask him to because he’s so sweet but I don’t want to have to. It just might be safer if I don’t drive.

I asked RS if he’d miss me if I were gone. I knew he would say yes but I just needed to hear it. Manipulative, perhaps. I’m not sure. I didn’t mean to scare him. But I am feeling very low and the suicidal thoughts are looming. I know my family would be destroyed if I did it so I’m trying to combat them. I have t hurt myself yet so that’s good.

It would not be the worst thing in the world if RS and your son went with you and RS entertained your son during your appointments. I know it is not ideal, but nothing about this is ideal. When you are feeling so badly and the idea of harming yourself comes about while you are driving, it's best you do not drive.

Many occupy themselves with a book/magazine and/or some type of a device while waiting for a loved one during an appointment.

Please consider handling this in any way that is most safe for you and for your family. You have an obligation to be safe for yourself and for them.

I hope your appointments help you tremendously!
Please keep us posted!
Stay Safe!

I love peppermint!
Peppermint anything... YUM!

I enJOY using some liquid body wash with peppermint in it. So refreshing, so "activating!" I need to order some. It may just boost me in the mornings!
I use Dr. Bronner's when I can do so.

The peppermint might (or might not) keep you awake at night. Just be mindful of this incase it occurs.

I hope the rodents vacate asap!!!
ALways great to see an update from you!!!

You are so sweet and so very thoughtful!
Love and Gratitude to You!

Thanks so much I’m glad I took time to decide the best way to address the trips with my husband and waited for the right time. Huge relief !

Almost 6 weeks in a Asthma flare, way way to long ! It’s been so exhausting !

Maybe a warm shower or bath before bed ? Cup of tea?

I’m sorry your struggling to get sleep it’s awful to not have that escape daily.

Thanks so much