[Jennyanydots]

Besides having bipolar, I get really bad anxiety. The root? Immediate: I feel completely paralyzed today about a job interview tomorrow. I've taken 7 .5 mg of Klonopin today and it's not helping. Its 5:30 pm and I just want to fall asleep to escape this feeling. Everyday anxiety: a mortgage way over my head and I worry about money everyday. Seasonal anxiety: I have a solid record of getting a manic episode Nov/Dec. Current job anxity: if I lost my job, I would be financially f***ed. All this worry/anxiety is too overwhelming. Should I cancel the interview? If I got this job, would it cause more anxiety? Would it be more stressful? I'm in tears. I know job interviews are stressful. And feeling anxious about this is normal. I guess I'm afraid that all this anxiety and stress me out too much and will cause an episode. And I shouldn't put added stress on myself at this time. On top of all this my dad is living in hotels (evicted and took out a bunch of loans to buy stupid **** like all new furniture when he was manic) and calls me several times a day to stay with me. He would definitely push me into an episode. Yes, I see a therapist and I've been exercising but not enough. I hope I'm not whining. I guess I just want to get it off my chest. Thank you for listening.

[Pookyl]

I don’t have any answers but wanted to let you know that you’re not alone when it comes to anxiety. My anxiety causes my brain to freeze.

[Daonnachd]

Try looking at the interview as you assessing them to determine whether they are a good fit for you. You are good, but are they good for you? That's the question.

[fern46]

That is a lot of stress all at once. I think anyone would be feeling it to some degree or another. Have you used any coping skills or spent any time on self care today? Sometimes a distraction can help pass the time and give you an outlet for some of the built up pressure.

As far as the job goes, do your best to prep and then try to relax about it as best you can. Keep in mind that they are also interviewing with you. They are trying to assess if you are a fit for the job, but you also get to see if it is a fit for you. If it isn't and you think it would cause more stress you can walk away. You haven't invested a ton in this opportunity yet. If it is a good fit then you can pursue it further. If not, then you have a job already.

Do you have a reason to believe you will lose your current job? Go in and focus and give it your best every day. That's all you can do.

I am sorry to hear about your father. I know it can be difficult to deal with a mentally ill parent. I have been there. It is especially difficult when you have to consider your own stability as well. If your Dad were well he would probably insist on you taking good care of yourself.

You're not whining. You came here for a kind ear and support. I hope you are able to find what you need. You're on the right track getting it out. Sometimes talking things through can ease the weight enough to make things bearable again.

[Jennyanydots]

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I took a walk outside in my backyard and just took in the beauty (my backyard is my favorite part of the house; it puts a smile on my face). I also took a few minutes to put on a PJ Harvey song and dance along to it with my maracas ( I love it; dogs hate it!). I also spoke to my mom on the phone and she helped me calm down. My anxiety has actually dropped a lot. She said I've probably prepared more than the other candidates and to finish writing up my questions for the interviewer at the end and put it away and like you all said, I'm interviewing them as well to see if the job is for me..I really have nothing to lose. I already have a job.

**I've been laid off 3 times so that far from other companies and it's always in the back of my mind. Also, if I have an episode before Feb 1, 2020 and I'm hospitalized, my job isn't protected under FMLA because I've already used up my 90 days of leave last year (12 rolling months). So it's very important that I do NOT have an episode.

I guess with me luck tomorrow!

[~Christina]

Glad your anxiety has dropped ! You did that!!!

Good luck tomorrow

[fern46]

I wish you all the best today. Your Mom is right. I hope you are able to walk away feeling good about the experience no matter what you decide.

You made some really good decisions for yourself while you were struggling yesterday. That's the best way to help yourself avoid episodes that spiral out of control.

[Wild Coyote]

I hope all went well for you today!