[cashart10]

This is literally the first time I’ve sat down since my mom woke me at 6:15. I’ve been cleaning and moving. And I haven’t eaten. Perhaps I am hypomanic? If that’s the case, missing my meds last night may be bad. I’ve already called my pdoc once today to request a letter excluding me from my court summoned jury duty. Should I call back or just stick with my regular regimen tonight and see how it goes?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

If it were me I'd give it until tomorrow. The problem of course is that this is 4:15 Friday and you aren't going to reach your pdoc until Monday unless it is an emergency line anyway. Which is the way this stuff usually seems to work. Have you been around anyone today who can tell you if they see symptoms? By Monday you surely will know. I wish today was Tuesday....

[fern46]

I'd take a break and put a nice comfort food meal on your stomach. Maybe relax with a cup of tea or a bath. Put your jammies on and slow down. Watch a movie or listen to some relaxing music.

Calling back is a good idea if they sre still open. Be sure to take your meds tonight and force yourself to bed at a decent time. I agree with BeyondtheRainbow though that waiting to see how this plays out tomorrow seems ok. You have a couple of red flags, but nothing that says run to IP or that this will for sure progress to mania.

What are your thoughts like? Anything major spiritual going on for you? I know that has been a theme in the past.

[cashart10]

Thank you both for your responses. Unfortunately...I kept going and going and am just now reading them. I will take your advice and give it until the morning. Fern, thank you for your ideas. I will definitely try a bath with soothing music and some tea. I never even *thought* to try to slow down. But, I think it may help. I also plan to aim for a reasonable bed time. Unfortunately, I have been home alone all day, until my kids got home a couple of hours ago and my husband is on his way home now. I haven’t had any spiritual thoughts but I’d certainly call them racing by this point. If it gets too bad, I do have my pdoc’s cell but I only use that for emergencies. I don’t want to take advantage of her.

[fern46]

Yeah, slowing down is the last thing on your mind when you get on a roll like that. I hope you're able to get into a more relaxed state tonight. Rest well and keep us posted tomorrow.

[cashart10]

Well...perhaps I had been up a little longer than I recognized, but not much. I say that because today I slept until 3:30 in the afternoon. I felt horrible. At least I finally got up and went to the grocery, came home and made dinner. So I did something. The house still looks great from yesterday thankfully, I just have a few dishes.

[cashart10]

Just to clarify, in between sleeping that late, I did get up to make my kids breakfast and lunch. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything more. My husband has been at work all day. He’s on his way home now.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

How are you doing now?

[cashart10]

Really down. I wanted to go to church this morning but couldn’t bring myself to wake up. We went to my mom and dad’s to celebrate my mom’s birthday. I was fine while there, but otherwise, terrible. Thanks for checking on me. I feel partially like my meds just make me constantly sleep and I feel almost rage over having to take them. I’ve never felt anything even similar to that before now.

[cashart10]

And...I’m listening to Rod Stewart....I Don’t Wanna Talk About It on repeat. That song makes my heart sink desperately. But, I can’t stay away. 😢

[fern46]

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling unwell. Looping songs is a huge trigger for me. They carry energy and playing them over and over is like giving yourself dose after dose of medicine. Sometimes you need a dose to help lift you up or bring you down, but taking it over and over leads to overdose. Step away from the computer or your phone or whatever device you're using.

Do you plan to call your doctor today? You're shifting quickly between states. You were up on Friday and now you're at a low. You may need a med adjustment.

I think I remember that you quit your job recently. Do you have a plan of how you can spend your time today? It might be a good idea to brainstorm a list of things to do including self care. Stick to the list even if you aren't feeling like it.

Let us know how we can help.

[cashart10]

Thank you for your suggestions. I am very open to all of them. I am going to try to plan out the rest of the day as I have slept until just the last hour or so. That has made me incredibly down again. But, my kids are at school and my husband is sleeping as he works 3rd shift tonight. I think I am going to get some laundry together and take it to my mom’s as my dryer is broken and my aunt just called to see if I want to take a walk with her. It’s beautiful outside. I may go with her as well. I know it will be good for me. I am not currently listening to any music but, yes, it is a major trigger for me. Unfortunately it’s also something I have great difficulty letting go of in the moment. Thank you for looking out for me!

[fern46]

Those both sound like really good ideas! A little exercise in the sunshine is a great way to lift your mood. I'm glad you've been able to stay away from the music for a while. I know exactly how hard that can be. I've had to make some major adjustments in that category to stay healthy. It can be quite difficult not to listen to the music that resonates with us. Stay strong. You can do it!

[Victoria'smom]

Hopefully you feel a little better after your walk. If you're going to take one.

[cashart10]

I didn’t end up taking a walk...but mostly because I ended up not having the time. After I picked up my daughter and went to my mom’s to do some laundry, my husband called and asked if I minded to go to the bank. Then I had to be home to get my other kids off the bus and then dinner of course. I am going to try a support group at my church tonight though. It’s one for people with all kinds of general struggles and one that I used to attend. I am then going to try a dbsa support group on thurs to see which one is a better fit. The one tonight is so much closer to my house though!