Bipolar check in #39

Thanks for this. I was really worried about the gag reflex I'm glad they have medicine for that.

Thanks WC I hope you're doing well

I went out this afternoon to get n3 from work. Took hi home. Went back out. N3 called ad said he was on a walk. When I got home, the shower was on, bathroom door locked. I heard n3 and his gf talking inside. So I asked them to open the door- it took about 30 seconds! Then I told N3 that she needs to be on reliable birth cotrol. He just closed his eyes and acted like he was ignoring me. I texted the gf's mom. She was surprised and said she will take her daughter to a local clinic for birth control. I took n2 to that same health center years back too. I knew this would come up- just didnt know it would be today! Lol

Hello all! I am right now listening to quality streaming music on my new headphones and DAC/Amp. It is during the free trial period. Spending more money on the credit card. Oh well, Time to sell some other stuff. I think I am going through some sort of existential crisis.

Just when my life was taking off, I ended up on disability. I am 60 years old. I may have only 15 or so years left, soon to be 14, of my life left. What have I accomplished in my life? Most everyone else has and is making accomplishments in their life, as successful people. Looking back, I have done little of value for the past 20 years, and now can be unreliable, to myself and others. I want to make a difference in other people's life, but now am no longer able to do this. My daughter is not ready for life, for now she is getting herself into trouble, This is a good measure of my fault for being a poor, ignorant father,

So what now is the purpose of my life? All I do is sit around, My lack of money is not helping this situation of mine. Anyway, right at the moment I am managing albiet also struggling with my life. I wish there was a "do over" button I can press. I can whine some more, but I will stop it now. I am here. I am listening to nice music. My daughter is going through a court diversion program, which will give her a clean record, I have food in the fridge, And I have Netflix. That is all I can think of now.

Feeling quite scatterbrained. I have started something like 5 responses to posts/threads here and just get distracted, lose motivation or concentration and stop. So, I am thinking of you all, but can't put it into words I guess. Not sure what my deal is, but this is affecting my work, too. I am anxious at times, but not overly so. It's more just my brain is not working. Like I forgot some very basic facts recently and was like what on earth? I should call up my psychiatrist, but for some reason am feeling like I don't want to bother him. I feel like I caused him enough stress last year with my med reactions. I know that's not a logical way of thinking about it, but I feel weird calling him back up a year later for an evaluation. I also feel a bit hopeless that something will help me and worry I am coming off as just dramatic or something. Like I am just a hypochondriac about everything. I think acupuncture would help, but it's too expensive and I cannot afford it right now. It's unfortunate, because it's a relatively side effect free way of dealing with my symptoms I have found. Oh and I am picking at my skin more again. It's gross, I know. I just keep around hand sanitizer to use when I catch myself doing it.

On a positive note I went to the gym yesterday and cooked dinner for myself today. Vegetarian "beef" and broccoli with teriyaki sauce.

Sorry, I know this post is all over the place, like my brain right now. Sending compassion!

yeah. If I were to describe how it felt, it'd be like taking a plastic straw and dragging it across your arm, except the scope has rounded ends unlike a straw, so it doesn’t scratch you. (The drs say the scope "may scratch you and irritate your throat," but nahhh, I was fine. Throat felt perfectly normal. I think they just have to say it for legal reasons, in the very rare event you do get scratched. But the tip of that thing was smooth, round, and soft like a squishy bouncy ball, so idk how it could scratch you. lol.)

Even if everything went to sh_t during the procedure, the whole thing still takes maybe 5-10 mins, and that includes going into the small intestine.

My concentration improved for sure with the extra Ritalin.

Good idea about setting up goals with my therapist. I could do that.

Thanks

Supposedly my dr paperwork was filled out correctly and faxed. I will call tomorrow to confirm. Hopefully it really was bc I don’t feel like driving a half hour to the dr office then another hour down to the occupational health then another 45 minutes home. Really really don’t feel like it.

I’m going to be bored tomorrow. I have to clean and pack for our trip, and get cat food. But that’s about it.

I got more Christmas decorations today. I’m happy with them. RS is going to put lights up after thanksgiving. We don’t have any outlets outside so we are just going to be putting them up in the porch windows. But that’s ok.

My grandma and I discussed thanksgiving today. We are making so much food! I’m excited for that too. She’s a good cook. I’m bringing green bean casserole and stuffing. And three kinds of pies! Apple, pecan, and pumpkin. Pumpkin is my favorite.

Unfortunately she has had to put my grandfather in short term care so she could get a break. He has dementia and can’t get around very well. She needed a break from taking care of him. So it will be strange not having him there. But I completely understand her viewpoint. She’s 82 herself, and had major back surgery just a year ago. She needs a break!

Well I’m not sure how much internet I’ll be able to get in the mountains so I hope everyone has a good weekend! Take care of yourselves and practice self love!

Thanks for this! I too will most likely have to have an endoscopy (if I ever get to the dr for my stomach pain) and I was very nervous. You made me feel better.

Whoa, lots has happened in this thread. I've read almost everything but it's hard to respond to so much. I did get a good laugh out of @BirdDancer's comment about her parents life magically improving after she left for college. Haha! I am also cozy in my apartment as some mentioned. I have an exquisite mirror-frame faux fireplace and a super ceramic heater going at the same time and am warm and toasty.

I found the funnest light-up Christmas sweater at Walmart today! It's soooooooooo cool! Just like the ones on "The Tonight Show" with Jimmy Fallon. I can't wait to wear it tomorrow to Overeaters Anonymous (OA). I start celebrating Christmas early because my mood often doesn't make it to December 25th and our building Christmas decorating is at the end of November and our party in early December -- my two main Christmas events. Looking forward to Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmas!!!

I went to OA last night and the sweetest young woman sought me out after and engaged me in conversation. She was just a delight and tuned right into my concerns about the OA text book being fat-shaming. She said it is really outdated and has a lot of prejudicial old-school health ideas and to just ignore stuff that's offensive and obsolete and take what i want and leave the rest. I don't think i will read the book anymore. It just pisses me off. I so enjoyed talking to a young person tho! So bright and excited and urgent and charming and passionate and positive!

I took public transit to the meeting last night and even took the subway for the first time in about four weeks. I was expecting a challenge as it was a new address and new station and i encountered one but it's not the end of the world and it's a mistake i won't make again. I'm glad to have figured out the route to this Wednesday meeting as it's more young women and not all tiny senior women raised by Twiggy who think thin is the only way to be beautiful.

I colored my hair lavender today! It looks great! I'm trying to ally myself more with young people as i am just 53 and feel so dated by my hair, tho it is a nice silver-white shade, but i still look like a senior when i am only 53. A young man complimented me on it already!

Be well my friends!

Yes thank you for Ideas. It’s kind of a hurry up and wait right now , I don’t wait well

Love you bunches

I hope you can find a good place for your Dad

Dang those cookies look amazing

Welcome to PC

So glad you are seeing M !!!!!

Oh eekkk bed bugs ! Every trip to Florida I go in the hotel room first and look everywhere in the bedding etc.. just the though freaks me out.

I’m sure others will be bring side dishes or even turkey or whatever meat you all will have.

Kids sure grow up so fast ! My daughter is 27 and I swear seems like last year she was 6

I’m so glad you got to see him sucks you need a scope, but you néed answers. Metabolic, ugh... You know my experience with Latuda. Seems I hear more and more problems about is as time goes by.

Stupid psych meds !

Oh boy , yes Birth control pills but that child needs to use condoms every damn time. Glad you got ahold of her Mom !’n Lot of young girls out there trap guys by getting pregnant. One of Amanda’s friends back in high school did that to her boyfriend. Sad

I wish I had advice but I’m struggling with these things too. Know your not alone.

Call and go see your Pdoc. Catch this sooner rather than later

Trust me he will be happy to see you being proactive.

We so often get overcome with Bipolar and limp into there office a beaten bloody train wreck and that’s so much harder to recover from.

Have a fantastic trip

Still struggling with pneumonia (I sound like a broken record) - but the Prednisone is really doing a number on my mood.

My therapist asked me today if I thought I should be hospitalized - I have no idea if she meant because of the pneumonia or the bipolar - LOL. I'd give almost anything for a tank of oxygen now. My birthday is coming up so I am trying to stay home and sane and not IP for any reason.

Financially, not working is going to wreak havoc on the bills (I am on SSDI and only work very part time but it makes a huge difference) - I will figure something out but I absolutely cannot go back to work until I can walk without becoming short of breath.

Hugs to all those struggling