Bipolar check in #39

Hello! Welcome to PC.

I'm glad you joined us, MarcusAurelius! Congratulations on your new job. That did sound rough, but you made it through.

Have you talked to a doctor about the headaches?

I know what you mean about an awkward middle stage with hair. I usually end up getting it cut in the end, too.

Checking in. I’m doing okay. I am meeting M halfway this weekend so I am looking forward to that.

It looks like we’ll be having Thanksgiving here this year. My sister’s home got bed bugs from traveling and they’ve had the house treated twice and replaced many pieces of furniture and some more just showed up. Can you imagine? Although having Thanksgiving here feels beyond my capabilities, I don’t want to risk bed bugs.

It’s getting to be bittersweet. Of mom’s three grandkids, one is about to go into the Navy (we’re all proud), one goes to college in another city and doesn’t want to move back to her home town and the other is making plans to move up and away. I’ll cherish having everyone together for the holidays as the kids go out into the world. It goes by in the wink of an eye.

Well I better keep moving. Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Bed bugs are terrible! It's good that you won't have to risk them by going to your sister's house. I hope she gets rid of them soon. My husband and I slept in a place with bed bugs in Peru several years back. We knew it, so we left our luggage in the garage, immediately washed the clothes and ourselves, then super sanitized our luggage. We got lucky that we didn't have problems because of those precautions. I also slept in a hostel that had them in Taiwan once. It is miserable!

My siblings are only one year apart, but are 5 1/2 and 6 1/2 years older than me. I remember my sister got married at the same time my brother went off to the navy. My parents were then left with just me. However, when I finally went off to college, they both quit smoking, lost weight, and their relationship improved. I'm not sure how to explain that.

Ha! I like your sense of humor.

Best. News. Ever.

I do NOT have to go on a business trip anymore!! Not enough funding for half of the group!! Yippee!!

The only problem now is that I haven't hit ANY of my work goals, and well, the quarter ends tomorrow. Ugh. Not happy. Not happy at all. I've actually asked my boss for a meeting to discuss my goals. We are meeting today. I hope it goes well because I am scared.

Otherwise, mood is okay. Woke up again at 3am, though... I've got to stop doing that!!

Thanks for the welcome Jennifer 1967 and BirdDancer!

As far as headaches goes, I haven't talked to anyone about it. I figured I didn't qualify because I thought the number of headaches was much larger. I have 5-6 major ones in a month and minor ones all the time. You know, the It-just-enough-to-be-annoying-with-dull-pain headaches. My caffeine consumption doesn't help (and may be a leading cause to them). I may bring it up the next time I see a doctor. The last thing I want is another pill to take, though.

Great news about the trip! I hope your meeting today goes smoothly.

Thank you for popping in!
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

Finding possible triggers (like thinking about the caffeine consumption) is very helpful, in my experience. I hope you can identify them.

I don't, personally, think 5 to 6 major headaches is a small number. I guess it depends on how disabling they are. I went through a period of having even 4 migraines in a month, but when I had them I vomited throughout the day and was pretty much bed-ridden, unable to do anything. I hope that if you find yours becoming more disabling that you will seek medical advice.

This is the best news ever!!!!!!!!
good luck at your meeting.
(((((HUGS))))))
to you.
bizi

I called the dr back and stressed the urgency of the situation so hopefully they will get that done today. I will call back tomorrow to confirm. If not I will go over there with my form and make them fill it out in front of me.

I’m excited for the trip I’m taking with RS!!! It is our one year anniversary. I’m so happy I found him. I’m glad I stayed on match even after the creepy men kept messaging me. If I hadn’t I would have never met RS. I knew we were going to make it from our third date, when he took me to see the Christmas lights at a huge garden in PA. At least, I was hoping we’d make it! And so far we have. Even through a pretty intense depressive episode. We are going to the mountains in PA. It’s going to be pretty cold but I really want to take a hike in a waterfall area. It’s supposed to be sunny so that will help take the chill out of the air. It should be really nice. I haven’t taken a trip in probably six years. The last one I can remember is taking my son to Strasbourg to see the trains, and that was when he was three. Yes, and he will be nine in less than a week. So yes, six years.

I saw my first Christmas lights yesterday!! I love Christmas. I used to hate it because all it did was remind me that my father was gone but as soon as I had my son the joy returned. I don’t even care that it’s not thanksgiving yet! Bring on the lights, the trees, the magic. Cookies, shopping, all of it. I do all my shopping online so I don’t have to deal with the crowds. I’m getting excited!

So yes, lots of good despite the annoyance of yesterday.

Fantastic!!!

I hope your meeting with your boss goes well.
Offering positive and supportive mojo!

I hope you can get all of this resolved enough to be able to have more balance in your everyday life!

Thanks everyone.

The meeting went exceptionally well—better than I imagined!! My boss recognized me working on weekends and late at night to get stuff done, so he expressed his appreciation for my hard work. That mean he knows I am working my @ss off to make things right, rather than seeing me as a lazy, good-for-nothing bum hole.

Just gotta make it through tomorrow. However, I have a therapy appt early morning, so I have to take time out of my day to go to that. I really don't want to go to that appt anymore, though... but it's too late to cancel. I just feel like I don't need therapy this week because all of my major stressors are GONE as of today. I mean, I was gonna talk about the business trip and meeting work goals, but... that discussion is not needed anymore. If I had known *yesterday* that I would be okay (trip wise and goal wise), I would have been within the 24 hour cancellation notice window.

Saw my dr. Boy he's lost weight! He was running late so I didn't ask about him, I'm sure he's sick of talking about it too. We spent all the time on the vomiting issue and chest pain. He ordered Prilosec and a scope. He thinks two separate issues are going on. A narrowing of the esophagus and maybe GERD but it also sounds like there may be a metabolic problem going on. He thinks the latuda may be causing that! But I'm not to adjust any meds till we find out more. We took up so much time with this issue I forgot to bring up the sleep meds.

Oh, he said we could skip the barium for now and see what the scope results are.

I am glad you have seen him and will look into what's going on for you.

As for sleep, is there any chance you can call his nurse and let the nurse know you had forgotten to address the sleep issue? I don't know if this is a viable option for you or not. I hate to think you might have to wait until you see him again.

Thanks so much for the update. Have been thinking of you!
Much Love to You!

Good luck with the endoscopy. I did one recently. It was a weird feeling because I wasn’t even knocked out when they put the scope down my throat. It didn’t make me gag or anything (because the meds the give you via IV turn off the gag reflexes), but I felt it go all the way down and hit my stomach. Then I felt them turning it. I thought it was funny for some reason, as it kinda tickled, but then they turned up the anesthesia and I got knocked out.

Hey!

I am very happy for you !
You have done a great job with focusing on your goals and working your way towards them! We cannot always meet them; yet, at least we have some goals to lead us in some direction!

Did your concentration improve or did you struggle through?
I am thnking the ritalin must have helped some?

Maybe you can be proactive with your therapist? I mean: Maybe you can identify some goals of your own? You can define/specify how you'd like your life. It's often a matter of identifying what we want and putting a plan in place.

Many of us spend our time in therapy reactiing to what is happening to us or around us, etc. Sometimes we need to do so. If/when we feel our major stressors have let up, we can then use the time to work as a team with our therapist on setting and reaching our life goals!

Can you tell I hope you'll have a happy, fulfilling life?
I do! I think you can have the life you want to have.
If we don't set goals, we tend to just float along, letting the wind blow us all over the place. You are blessed with many qualities that give you a "leg Up" on reaching any goals you set for your life.

Just a thought!
Love Ya!

Hope the Prilosec helps you Nammu, I have GERD and need to get back to my doctor to get new meds for it

Thanks for this. I was really worried about the gag reflex I'm glad they have medicine for that.

Thanks WC I hope you're doing well

I went out this afternoon to get n3 from work. Took hi home. Went back out. N3 called ad said he was on a walk. When I got home, the shower was on, bathroom door locked. I heard n3 and his gf talking inside. So I asked them to open the door- it took about 30 seconds! Then I told N3 that she needs to be on reliable birth cotrol. He just closed his eyes and acted like he was ignoring me. I texted the gf's mom. She was surprised and said she will take her daughter to a local clinic for birth control. I took n2 to that same health center years back too. I knew this would come up- just didnt know it would be today! Lol

Hello all! I am right now listening to quality streaming music on my new headphones and DAC/Amp. It is during the free trial period. Spending more money on the credit card. Oh well, Time to sell some other stuff. I think I am going through some sort of existential crisis.

Just when my life was taking off, I ended up on disability. I am 60 years old. I may have only 15 or so years left, soon to be 14, of my life left. What have I accomplished in my life? Most everyone else has and is making accomplishments in their life, as successful people. Looking back, I have done little of value for the past 20 years, and now can be unreliable, to myself and others. I want to make a difference in other people's life, but now am no longer able to do this. My daughter is not ready for life, for now she is getting herself into trouble, This is a good measure of my fault for being a poor, ignorant father,

So what now is the purpose of my life? All I do is sit around, My lack of money is not helping this situation of mine. Anyway, right at the moment I am managing albiet also struggling with my life. I wish there was a "do over" button I can press. I can whine some more, but I will stop it now. I am here. I am listening to nice music. My daughter is going through a court diversion program, which will give her a clean record, I have food in the fridge, And I have Netflix. That is all I can think of now.

Feeling quite scatterbrained. I have started something like 5 responses to posts/threads here and just get distracted, lose motivation or concentration and stop. So, I am thinking of you all, but can't put it into words I guess. Not sure what my deal is, but this is affecting my work, too. I am anxious at times, but not overly so. It's more just my brain is not working. Like I forgot some very basic facts recently and was like what on earth? I should call up my psychiatrist, but for some reason am feeling like I don't want to bother him. I feel like I caused him enough stress last year with my med reactions. I know that's not a logical way of thinking about it, but I feel weird calling him back up a year later for an evaluation. I also feel a bit hopeless that something will help me and worry I am coming off as just dramatic or something. Like I am just a hypochondriac about everything. I think acupuncture would help, but it's too expensive and I cannot afford it right now. It's unfortunate, because it's a relatively side effect free way of dealing with my symptoms I have found. Oh and I am picking at my skin more again. It's gross, I know. I just keep around hand sanitizer to use when I catch myself doing it.

On a positive note I went to the gym yesterday and cooked dinner for myself today. Vegetarian "beef" and broccoli with teriyaki sauce.

Sorry, I know this post is all over the place, like my brain right now. Sending compassion!