[bizi]

WE celebrate our 24 wedding anniversary tonight at Marcellos Italian restaurant, our favorite. They have muscles in this amazing buttery sauce that we dip our bread into...heavens it is so good.
Jeff orders the same thing seafood tritoney pasta dish with lobster shrimp and scallops, I usually get their fresh fish of the day.
Yummy!
our real date is august 24, 1996.
I have a hard time remembering the date.
bizi

[bizi]

we are safe in our house following the frightening storm Laura.
It hit 1 1/2 hours west of us hardest lake charles.
just lots of twigs from our big oak tree in the front yard and lots of pine needles from our neighbors house. Luckily her pine trees did not fall.
There is a dead one she should cut down but refuses to.
sigh
during storms we always worry about those trees.
a trellis fell down but it needed to come down anyway.
could have been so much worse.
feeling very fortunate.
bizi

[fern46]

So glad to hear you're safe Bizi! I am sure that must have been scary. Pine trees snap so easily! Thanks for letting us know you're ok.

[bizi]

Thanks fern!
hope you are doing ok.....
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[bizi]

Well I face timed with my new mental heath psych nurse practitioner.
She is great!
She was interested in me and what I had to say.

We talked for about 40 minutes although she was

50 minutes late for our call.
sigh

Her husband had been in a car accident with their 4 kids.

No one was hurt, thankfully.
She said that I could email her stuff but she would probably just reply make an appointment.
I think she will work out just fine......
we are keeping my meds the same.....she is letting me have my klonipin!
bizi

[Coffeee]

Sounds like a good outcome for you Bizi, med wise. And yay, good practicioners are worth their weight in gold. Sorry to hear about your nurse's situation that sounds scary!

[fern46]

I am glad the first appointment went well. It sounds like she took the time to really listen and that is so very important. I hope it continues this way in the future.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by fern46

I am glad the first appointment went well. It sounds like she took the time to really listen and that is so very important. I hope it continues this way in the future.

Well actually she did most of the talking.lol
bizi

[fern46]

Originally Posted by bizi

Well actually she did most of the talking.lol
bizi

What is it about mental health providers and their need to do all the talking? Its ironic.

[bizi]

I emailed her a bit of information that I did not get to tell her of the stress that I was under going, I also forgot to tell her that I had quit my business of 20+ years. I was a mess.
Maybe the next time we talk I can tell her that.
I see her once a month for a while.
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

Sending hugs!!!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

Well I face timed with my new mental heath psych nurse practitioner.
She is great!
She was interested in me and what I had to say.

....

Excellent news! Pure gold when that happens. And I respect her for letting you keep your K-pin. I am fully aware of all the benzo issues (I've been on Klonopin for over 20 years), but I'm very suspicious of a practitioner who doesn't fully understand that for some people, benzos really are a life saver, sometimes.

[bizi]

Thank you beth, is your real name beth or elizabeth? Mine is elizabeth and I use beth Liz Bizi which is a family nick name, so I use it for all of my internet doings.
Thank you for posting back to me @BethRags
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

Hey bizi,

I am also VERY suspicious of providers who refuse to prescribe benzos to some of us (including me). Fortunately no provider has tried to cut my benzos. I do stay away from them. I do not trust them (sadly, with good reason )

I did seriously consider face timing with a private (unknown) shrink. But papa bear was very nervous about it. And I understand his concerns I do not live in the USA. I have found the providers IRL to be VERY lacking in empathy or even compassion. And I have NEVER been ''a difficult patient''

And even if I had ever been (whatever the **** that even means ) it is their job to help. Mental health is as important as physical health. Who would have thunk it? Apparently in this forest, they do not

many hugs

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

Thank you beth, is your real name beth or elizabeth? Mine is elizabeth and I use beth Liz Bizi which is a family nick name, so I use it for all of my internet doings.
Thank you for posting back to me @BethRags
bizi

Hi bizi, I think your name is so cute. Actually, I am just Beth, named after my great-aunt Bertha...who, sadly, spent 40 years of her life in a "mental institution" because she had "manic-depressive psychosis." Her instituionalization would have been between about 1920 and 1960. Ironic that we share a mental illlness, but she died before I'd had the opportunity to meet her.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Hey bizi,

I am also VERY suspicious of providers who refuse to prescribe benzos to some of us (including me). Fortunately no provider has tried to cut my benzos. I do stay away from them. I do not trust them (sadly, with good reason )

I did seriously consider face timing with a private (unknown) shrink. But papa bear was very nervous about it. And I understand his concerns I do not live in the USA. I have found the providers IRL to be VERY lacking in empathy or even compassion. And I have NEVER been ''a difficult patient''

And even if I had ever been (whatever the **** that even means ) it is their job to help. Mental health is as important as physical health. Who would have thunk it? Apparently in this forest, they do not

many hugs

I did not know that you were not in the USA.
Glad that you get to keep your benzos too.
I have been a difficult patient while hospitalized I would not take my meds so the forced injections. It took 4 people to hold me down and even thenit felt like a cork screw, so painful.
Hubby gave them cart blanch for injects if I refused meds.
I did not sleep there until the last night there they discharged me too soon but insurance ran out so they shipped me home still psychotic. fun times for hubby. I went to an IOP, intensive out patient program. The first day after being discharged.that lasted 5 weeks I refused to go the last 6 weeks. I needed to get home and work to make some money.I was off 9 weeks. June 1st I started seeing patients again. Some of the clients live in assisted living apartments, They are not letting me see their residence yet.
I feel so bad for them so isolated.
I am sorry that you are feeling hurt feelings.
You can always write to me PMing if you want to.
bizi

[bizi]

My diet pills just came in. when I am
finished with this alcohol that is in the
house I will start my new diet,
high protein/fat lower carbohydrates

and smaller plates of food, smaller portions.

I think I will start monday.
That is 9-14-2020.
This has been a sucky year for sure.
Hurricanes, wild fires, covid, me psychosis,

my mother in law died, our cat died

In patient then out patient. 9 weeks

I can barely remember.

off work, slow restart.
any way, a sucky year.
bizi

[bizi]

happy sunday!
the cook out was nice about 10 of us there on the out door patio/porch.
Jeff is having a cat scan of his lungs to rule out a blood clot in his lungs
and look for other things. hopefully something comes from this,
if it is a blood clot then they can treat that with blood thinners.
He sees the pulmo on the 22nd of sept. he has been having symptoms for months.

I did not have lunch with carol she canceled on me, then I made plans to have
lunch with a friend melissa and carol showed up. Which was awkward.
She asked if they served coffee and I said no. and then she left.
I told her we would have lunch together next week some time.
I woke up to 186 pounds, up. Not happy about that. Good time to start an alcohol free
stint. And a new diet. I ordered some diet pills that came in on friday. perfect timing.

.Jeff went to a friends house to watch the saints game.
I told him he needed to hydrate himself with water today because of his test tomorrow.
they are doing the cat scan with dye. They have given him 2 different times to go in
so he doesn't know what time to go in 9;30am I think.

I am sitting here contemplating going to fat pats for a couple of beers, last hurrah!!
Bars are supposed to be table served which means no sitting at the bar. I wonder
if the tap room will follow the guidelines. Fat Pats has already done this.
They have a big menu, the tap room does not...they serve hot dogs and flat breads.
Because of the saints game I think both places will be hopping.

We have a storm coming into the gulf SALLY, she is supposed to
become a hurricane soon, not exactly sure where she will make land fall.
new orleans looks like a possibility.
lake charles was devastated as was cameron from Laura.
You don't hear much about it in the news because they are quietly cleaning up themselves.

I need to take a shower tomorrow.
I should have taken one today but did not so I am having a bad hair day.
be well yall,
bizi

[bizi]

Thank you for your support.

Today, Jeff had the cat scan with and with out contrast, dye.
His cardiologist told him the results already:
no blood clots, mild emphazema ,
and there are some nodules that could turn into cancer.
they will monitor them yearly
with cat scans yearly. I am hoping the pulmo md will
prescribe something to help him breath.
inhalers, can't wait until he has the appointment on the 22nd.
I wondered if they may suggest oxygen at night.

The storm Sally is stalling and looks like a wednesday
land fall. people will see flooding from all of the rain
that is forecasted.

I had a cancellation tomorrow morning so that will
give me time to go down to the post office and mail
my renewal of my passport request. I think I have
done everything right when I checked thru the
application I found 2 mistakes so I read all of the
3 pages of instructions and looked at the 2 forms
to fill out and everything looks good. I am supposed
to mail it in a water proof bubble wrap envelope .
wonder if I should use a sharpie to write the address??

Talked to my brother in law. he is going to spray paint
the basement an off white semi gloss paint using a
sprayer. He is being smart with the proper air filter
and goggles.

He inherited his moms cat, Max is mellowing out
Brian plays every day with him and max is not biting
as much as he used to do. He has been more affectionate.

1st night alcohol free in a long while. I was going to do a
dry august but that did not happen.
My weight has gotten out of control 186....
I know I can lose weight if I just stop drinking.
Well I had better say good night as jeff is already in bed.
Thank you again for your support.
bizi

[bizi]

I signed us up for this service that they

send you 3 nights of 2 meals so 6 meals all
of the ingredients are included.

So I just read the recipe card and prepared

the meal from scratch. We went for a walk

after dinner. He cleaned up I helped clean the stove,
It was a mess oil got on there when I was cooking

and It almost caught fire!

72 degrees and walked about 45 minutes.
My back was bothering me but I made it.
Jeff feeds all of the neighborhood cats treats.
He has nick names for them all and he usually

walks by himself, talked me into going.
I am glad that I went.

Jeff sees the pulmonologist sp? on tuesday, can't
come soon enough, he has been waiting a long time.
He still has symptoms every day.

Well we are going to watch another episode of the x-files
it was good last night and to be continued for tonight.
We have all 9 seasons. there were 11 but we

never got the last 2 for some reason.

Our 3 cats keep us busy and happy with them.
Jeff plays with them, they love string and lazer light.
He has a bug on the fishing rod and reel, minus the hook and

goes fishing for cats. They love it!

good night
bizi